8.11.2008

Check your children's backpacks!


I hate to steal other people's material, but when the other person in question doesn't read my blog, and most likely doesn't have a blog, I feel OK about it. Also, it involves Antarctic wildlife, and that makes the following somewhat of a public service announcement.

I was at a party the other night when a woman I know shared this ditty about a friend who brought her 5-year-old grandson from Indiana to the Shedd Aquarium in Chicago.

At some point during their visit, she looked down and realized her grandson was missing. She searched around on her own, but couldn't find him, so she contacted security, and they began to search every nook and cranny of the aquarium.

I should interrupt this story and tell you two things:
1. This is not a story about a missing child.
2. I do not mean to promote missing children. I'm strictly against kidnapping, wandering off and any other childhood absenteeism.

After two hours of fruitless searching, they were frantic, so the aquarium locked down the building to do a total sweep of the entire facility and all of the patrons. As this was going on, the woman heard, "Hi, grandma!" She looked down and saw her grandson was standing next to her, clutching his backpack to his chest. (Note the foreshadowing.)

In her anger and embarrassment, the woman shouted, "I found him!" and got out of there as fast as she could, without determining where he'd been hiding for several hours.

In the car, the boy wouldn't reveal his whereabouts, keeping his backpack close to him. When they got back home, she angrily threw the backpack on the floor - and it moved! There was something alive in there. She opened it up and found a BABY PENGUIN.

Turns out this kid had managed to access a restricted area behind locked doors where there was an incubator warming newly born penguins. He apparently took a liking to one and stuck it in his backpack.

By the way, I'm not into penguin or backpack abuse. Don't sic PETA on me. (If you do, please warn me so I can take off my penguin-skin backpack first.)

Anyway, I thought that was a crazy story. And, no worries, the penguin was returned.

Then, the same woman who told me this story told me another story about a 13-year-old who jumped into a tank at the aquarium, wrestled a grown penguin and put it in his backpack - all without anyone doing anything.

So I'm, like, "Are you, like, the penguin-backpack-story-lady?"

But I swear she's a real credible lady. She shops at Talbots.

17 comments:

the dragonfly said...

Wow.

For some reason this story made me think of a book I read when I was a kid, Mr. Popper's Penguins.

Funny stuff.

Laurel said...

You are so funny. Rachie and I were talking the other day about how clever you are and this post proves it.

Plus I totally agree...shopping at Talbots certainly makes a person most credible.

steph said...

hubbs and i were just discussing that we want a baby penguin... think i could pay this lady?

Mary said...

Wait a minute!!

I thought that I was the "penguin-backpack-story-lady"!

Sheeesh ... I had no idea it was such a competitive field.

P Daddy said...

Makes you wonder why Jansport didn't sponsor March of the Penquins.

Shopping at Talbot's may make her clothing credible (pedestrian but credible), but I think these stories smack more of the Emperor's New Clothes. One too many Shedd Aquarium penguin/backpack stories to pass the smell test (and one can only imagine how a backpack smells after holding a wet penguin for a couple hours on a muggy Chicago summer day).

But highly entertaining.

I am so happy no animals or humans were harmed in the retelling of these stories, though, if true, both kids should have been shot. And I'd watch Miss Dub around those geese if she's got her backpack. And if you come across a warren of green gingham bunnies, all bets are off.

melissa said...

this lady totally got the story wrong. it wasn't a 5 year old boy, it was a 25 year old me. and it wasn't a backpack, it was my purse.

ok thats a lie. but if i had the opportunity...

janaya said...

umm... this sounds familiar: http://www.snopes.com/critters/farce/smuggled.asp ;)

Mrs. Dub said...

aw, man. she seemed like a credible source. she even used exact names and locations ... i'm hoping this is one urban legend come true.

Jen said...

This is why my sister keeps her son on a leash.

Shaka said...

that is just funny!!!

The Shabby Princess said...

Hilarious.

Melanie M. McKinnon said...

that is insane. what would give any child the notion to steal a penguin? it's beyond me.

Anonymous said...

I read a similar version of this on A Daily Scoop last week in the comments. http://adailyscoop.blogspot.com/2008/07/laughter-is-best-medicine.html
I was sure her version was true until I read this post. Hmmm. There are a bunch of other funnies on there, too.

hilari said...

maybe she actually shops at petite sophisticate.

Anonymous said...

Ok at first, you had me totally worried, but holy shit, seriously? Penguins in the backpack? Weird. LOL

Oh no I see it was on Snopes... makes me second guess the women I have trusted who shop at Talbots... hmmmmm....

sara said...

That's so funny/bizarre. Before you mentioned penguins I thought you were going to say that the kid had hidden in his own backpack; like it was a really big packpack.

Oh, and all of the comments on this one are cracking me up. Sorry I didn't have something better to contribute. Petite Sophisticate? Hilary kills me.

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