The little post that couldn't

So I wrote this great post.

This isn’t it.

The great post I wrote was after a Friday filled with blog linking, which led me to more and more blogs penned by cute, young mothers with Anthropologie-esque wardrobes and mad sewing skills complete with fantastic photography and unique blog design.

My self esteem, already teetering somewhere between “I’m OK” and “I’m in need of a makeover,” plummeted down to “At least I’m alive.”

So I sat down and passionately whipped up a fabulous post about these women and their refurbished antiques and razor cuts.

I questioned the validity of their posts. I mean, are their lives really that cool or do they just Photoshop them up for blogging purposes? I questioned their ability to juggle motherhood with 1,023 craft projects. (All so cute and made with retro fabrics and papers, of course.) I questioned why it is I’m not one of these women, even when I so badly want to be one. (Do I not have enough money? Am I too fat? Is it because my apricots aren’t organic? Did my invite get lost in the mail?)

But when I went to post it, my diatribe had magically vanished: “Document cannot be located,” to be exact.

Maybe it was a sign. Maybe my musing was too harsh, even though I didn’t mean for it to be rude. Maybe my envy was such a grievous sin that it was a blessing in disguise. Or maybe I accidentally trashed it when cleaning up my desktop.

Whatever the case, you’ll never read it. You’ll never understand my innermost turmoil.

But if you could, you would know this: Blogs are a blessing and a curse.

They are great places for families and friends to stay in touch. They are a great outlet for frustrated and somewhat untalented writers such as me who can only hope to be published by Blogger. And they’re a great spot for meeting new friends. (Hi Jessi! Hi Abbie! Hi Natalie! Hi Christen! Hi Robin! Hi Leisha! Hi CJane! Hi Kristen! Hi Wendysue!)

But they’re also a great place to waste time. They’re a great way to add pressure to our already busy lives. (“What? Design Mom is making hip President Day’s pins? I must head straight to the craft store!”)

And they’re great at lowering our self esteem.

But, then again, it is fun to live vicariously through other people’s posts.

Now, if only I was cool enough to be their real friends. (Mental note: Buy some organic apricots.)

What do you think?