Travel-locks

Do you like analogies?

I do. In fact, I like to drag them out so far that they go beyond ridiculously cheesy to positively inspiring. Seriously. If you start with a little comparison between life and sports, for example, by the fourth reference to your “game face” or “keeping score”, people will start to gag. But if you keep at it for ten or more references and end with something like “because it’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game” … you’ll bring tears to the eyes of grown women. (Which is way more impressive than grown men because they actually like sports.)

And that is why I am going to tell you about my recent trip to Utah and Arizona, using haircutting jargon to cover all my bases … er, roots. (See, what I mean?) By the end, you’ll either be penning a sweet letter to your stylist or making an appointment. Whatever the case may be, you’ll be blown away. (Get it? Blown? Like a blowout?)

HIGHLIGHTS
* Seeing family and friends in two states I’ve called home. Catching up and hanging out was extraordinarily fun. And it didn’t hurt that there were always extra hands and hugs for Miss Dub, giving me some much needed respite from mommying. The days flew by, which made the trip fun but way too fast.
* Meeting my nephew, lil’ Gee, for the first time since his March debut. For the record, he’s really, really, ridiculously cute - so full of smiles and personality already. Although it was hard to get used to his slender build after hefting my hearty Miss Dub around. (For the record, I like her a little chubby!)
* Watching my bro and his new wife dance down the aisle in their custom Converse to the tune of “Happy Together” by The Turtles. She looked so gorgeous, and he wasn’t too shabby himself. Though he’ll always be a toddler obsessed with dinosaurs in my mind. Deal with it, Bogey.
* Lunching with an old mission companion, who I sadly hadn’t seen in a couple years. Did I mention that she looks like Barbie? Minus the plastic features, horrible cowlick and effeminate boyfriend. Oh, and she’s way nicer. All my Barbies had attitudes.
* Swimming with Miss Dub, Mrs. Jay and the extended Gourmet Girls clan. Mrs. Jay even went so far as to overnight matching swimsuits for Miss Dub and lil’ Gee to match her fam. Thankfully, Miss Dub loved the pool, which is good since I’ve been daydreaming about her Olympic swimming career for decades. I really didn’t want to settle for gymnastics.
* Not blogging or reading blogs for more than a week. No offense, but it was nice. Blogs can be computer crack for me sometimes so it was nice to go cold turkey. (Though the shakes were rough.)
* Eating way too much.

LOWLIGHTS
* The fact that my dear friend, Mrs. R, had to cancel her baby shower, which was the point of the Utah leg of my journey. You might be familiar with her plight, which you can read about here and hear about here and here. But sufficeth to say that bureaucracy and D.C. are synonymous for a reason. She and her little boy are separated from her husband for the unforeseen future because a signature and a piece of paper can’t seem to make a connection. So sad! (But in a lil’ highlight, I was able to sneak into her pad and leave some gifts, some signs and some lemon-fresh cleanliness!)
* Not seeing Mr. Dub for an entire week. Ouch. That was the sound of my heart breaking remembering our separation. Some people like the occasional reprieve from their other half, but we’re best as a team. (Shoot! I should have used a sports analogy.)
* Leaving my cell phone in Utah. Having my mother-in-law send it to me in Arizona, only to have it never arrive. Not being able to call my friend and congratulate her on the birth of her newest son. (Congrats!) Not being able to call Mrs. R and check up on her adoption proceedings. (How goes it?) Checking my messages and realizing that only three people tried to call me since I left it behind. And two of them are related to me.
* Finding out in the SLC airport that my sole suitcase was six pounds overweight. Being informed that I would have to transfer said six pounds to my already overflowing diaper bag. Ditching a huge load of diapers in a restroom instead.

* Eating way too much.

All in all, the entire journey was shear joy and a cut above all other trips. It took my straight life and turned it into an adventurous updo. It was a brush with greatness. My life was the splits and it acted as a hot oil treatment.

-- OK, so maybe some analogies are just too trite to use.

But in the end, it’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game.

Or something like that.

Picture pages

Twelve days,

three states

and a lot of

good food.

No, it’s not the proposed epitaph for my gravestone.

It's the shortest description of my über-fun trip to Utah and Arizona.

But since I’ve never been one for brevity, I’ll share a little more of my travels … tomorrow.

(Ha, look at me building suspense! Take that Angela Lansbury!)

For now, it’s all pics, all the time.

(And 60 percent of the time, it works every time!)

Hot Topic Tuesday - Utah edition

(Blogger note: I've included an updated bit of explanation at the bottom. Please read if you are confused, bewildered or plain mad at me!)

Today’s hot topic is near and dear to every Mormon’s heart. (Sorry to my non-LDS readers – all 3 of you!)

That subject would be Utah Mormons or Utah in general.

Because it’s a love-hate web we all weave with the Beehive State.

Growing up LDS in Arizona, everybody talked about “Utah Mormons” – how they looked different (huge hair), talked different (“Oh my heck”) and worshipped different (“My son is so the AP and yours isn’t!”) . They had bigger Suburbans (12-15 seaters, seriously), bigger activities (“Take that ward budget!) and bigger complexes (“Am I as skinny as Sister Jones?”).

And there was some truth to it then. At that time, most people living in Utah were born and raised there. And, at that time, most of Utah was LDS. So many people confused the local culture with the local religion. (“Mom, is mutual a state law?”) Lines blurred between church and state, ward activities and social activities, personal standards and business ethics. So many youth never realized the religious importance of seminary but worried about the seminary council elections. And some residents judged each other on their church activity level rather than their neighborly kindness. For this reason, Utah Mormons got a bad reputation with Mormons in other states. We stereotyped them as more secular, less spiritual and sheltered.

But then people from other states and religions began to move in. The Mormon incomers encouraged the real essence of the LDS religion (Christ-like love, obedience and service) that already existed among most Utah Mormons and the non-Mormons helped define the line between being a Utahn and being a Mormon. Which helped everybody live a little better and little nearer to God, I think.

This is the Utah I lived in as a college student and newlywed. It’s still insanely Mormon, which is usually a good thing because it’s created a unique community where families look out for each other, neighbors know each other and safety and peace surround you. But Utah is growing, diversifying and opening its heart to other religions and the simple tenants of Mormonism. The hair is smaller, though still big. The Suburbans are more scarce, though still prominent. The ward activities are humbler, though still impressive.

But the complexes are still there … which is why I’m still hesitant about moving to Utah, although there is good and bad everywhere you go. (And most of this musing could be applied to any area with a high concentration of any religious or ethnic group.)

First, there is still a superiority complex among some Utah Mormons. As if living in Utah makes you a better Mormon, or that you care more about your family by moving there. I don’t think there’s anything wrong about living in Utah, but I don’t think there’s anything better about it either. And I DO NOT believe that your kids will turn out any better or any more active by growing up in Utah. If anything, I think they may have to work a little harder to gain a testimony since there are fewer missionary opportunities, easier rationalization (“But Kara is doing it and she’s a Mormon!”) and a greater chance for ignorance. And, let’s face it, teenagers like to be different. And being different in Utah often means being bad.

And don’t tell me that people who don’t like Mormons (or aren’t Mormon) shouldn’t move to Utah. It’s property of the United States, not the LDS Church. I don’t like cold weather but I live in Illinois, yet none of the cold-weather loving locals are running me out. But that’s the feeling many non-Mormon Utahns get. There’s the pastor’s daughter who ran for student council president, only to have the LDS parents and students rally against her because she wasn’t Mormon. There's the teacher who was almost fired for saying some people think Joseph Smith wasn't a prophet. And there’s the parent who doesn’t think twice about her daughter’s LDS friends but flips when she hears her non-LDS friend’s mom smokes.

But worst of all, there’s the envying. For a people who are told to live within their means, there are a lot of people living outside of them in Utah … which is why Utah has the highest bankruptcy, debt, mortgage fraud and business fraud rates in the country. And why walking into Café Rio can seem like a scene from the “Stepford Wives” with all the super-blonde, super-thin moms wearing their Hollister jeans and ordering a pork salad. (“Hold the pork, beans, rice, dressing and cheese.”)

I don’t entirely know why Utah of all places has such a problem with these things. But I think part of it is that a Utah Mormon’s social circle is geographically small. Because your church friends, your school friends and your neighbors all live on your block. Which means your immediate social circle sometimes spans a mere mile radius. And since that mile is typically populated with a similar demographic, you assume you should look, act, dress and buy like your friends. ("The Jones bought one so why can't we?") Or that you should get rich quick so you can.

Or maybe there’s something in the water.

I’ll tell you what it ain’t – fluoride.

But that’s another post.

So what do you think about Utah? Love it, hate it or baffled by it?

Dish.

(Updated - Having just received an email by a Utah Mormon who I not only adore but totally admire, who called into question the kindness of this post ... I had to make some explanations. First, I didn't mean to totally rip Utah. If I came across that way, I apologize. I did, however, want to generate some heat under the seat of a small minority of Utahns who keep negative stereotypes alive and well. I like Utah. I liked living there. I go there all the time to visit friends and family, all who don't behave in a manner unbecoming to their state or religion. I didn't mean to imply that all or even most of Utah Mormons do. I didn't mean to imply that it took non-Mormons and out-of-state Mormons to teach Utah natives the true meaning of the gospel. I just meant that they helped support and sustain the 99 percent of Utah Mormons who had been doing things right all along, all while having their image tarnished by the bad-behaving 1 percent. Or maybe it was more like 5 percent. In any event, I'm not here to expose the flaws of Utah as much as to debate the sentiment among some that Utah is the only good state out there. We all have weaknesses ... it just seems like Utah is less inclined to admit hers. But it probably wasn't my place to do it for her. Sorry!)