Hey Ricky!

I'm a Mormon, yes I am. So is Ricky Schroeder. And since some of you have a hankering for the dude, and since my mom reminded me of this experience, I thought I'd share my personal encounter with him a few years back.

(Setting: A foyer at a Scottsdale LDS chapel. Church is ending for one congregation, while another is having their big sacrament meeting. A college-aged girl who should have appreciated her beauty and body at the time, but did not, walks into the foyer, waiting for her family. A man with shaggy blond hair sits opposite, holding a young girl.)

Me: (Staring at shaggy blond dude, wondering, "How do I know this guy? He looks so familiar.")

Ricky: (Makes eye contact.) Hi!

Me: Hi! I know you from somewhere, don't I? Did we go to seminary together?

Ricky: Um, no.

Me: Were you in this stake growing up?

Ricky: No.

Me: Did you go to the high school across the street?

Ricky: (Growing increasingly uncomfortable.) No.

Me: Huh, you seem so familiar to me.

Ricky: I think you know me from TV. I'm Rick Schroeder.

Me: That would be it.


Another time I caught him chatting with Steve Young in the hallway. I wondered what their conversation was like. Here's how I think it went down:

Ricky: Sucks to be famous, huh? All these Mormons staring at you - asking you to participate in the next youth conference.

Steve: Or thinking you're an apostle.

Ricky: But I sure am a big fan of yours. I was a huge 49ers fan.

Steve: Actually, I totally loved you growing up. That train that went through your house was awesome.

Ricky: Well, it actually wasn't my house.

Steve: Man, I can't believe I'm talking to Ricky Schroeder.

Ricky: It's Rick now.

Steve: Sure, Ricky. Do you still talk to Alfonso?

HTT - Crush Edition

Let's not mess around and get to the hottest topic of all this fine Tuesday:

Who is your celebrity crush?

I've had quite a few over the years - John Cusack, David Duchovny, Alistair from You Can't Do That on Television - but right now the apple of stalking eye is:

JASON BATEMAN

I mean, he was great in The Hogan Family, but ever since Arrest Development (RIP), I am smitten. Everything he does these days is brilliant. Even Dodgeball.


... and yours?

How now, brown cow?

Mr. Dub's coworker, Karen, has changed my life as of late by giving me her old People magazines only days after receiving them. Yes, I'm not too proud to beg for celebrity gossip.

The other day, I was devouring the contents of the latest issue, which features Keith Urban on the cover. Now, I don't know much about Keith Urban, except that he is:
a. Nicole Kidman's husband
b. a recovering addict (to something?)
c. an Australian country singer, which is, like, the weirdest concept ever - Was crocodile wrasslin' and digarido playin' not enough for the Aussies?
d. not a cow

But apparently I was wrong on the last point. The minute Miss Dub saw the cover, she started to do her cute cow sound, which includes a muffled, "Mooooo!" and puckered lips. Confused, I looked all over the cover for some sort of bovine reference. Nothing! So I pointed at each picture trying to figure it out. When my finger landed on Keith Urban's face, she instantly mooed. Since then, I've sporadically brought out the mag, and each time Miss Dub breaks into her cow impression at the sight of his shaggy hair.

I wonder if Nicole knows.

HTT - Hilton Edition

Today’s HTT topic is ---

WAIT, breaking news here, people!

Paris Hilton is a free woman.

Hallelujah! Now she can return to her very busy and important life mentoring young women on the proper way to cover one’s privates when wearing a dress hemmed just above them. Now she can get back to inspiring the world with her words of wisdom, like, “Doing stuff is totally hot!” Now she can go home and appreciate the simple things in life like having multiple houses, designer clothes and an assistant whose sole job is to handle emergency hangnails.

OK, my sarcasm is oozing all over my keyboard so give me a second to wipe it up. But sufficeth to say I find the whole thing ridiculously sad.

The girl drove on a suspended license. She broke a law and had to suffer the consequences. Whether or not they were increased or alleviated because of her celebrity status doesn’t matter. Three weeks in jail were within the legal realms. And she served them because, well, she had to. (Although she’s done a great job of making it sound like she sucked up her pride and did it out of responsible obligation, even though she had no choice.)

The real question is – why did we have to do the time with her? Not just now, but for the last few years. What crime did we all commit that merited a punishment as bad as seeing her face plastered all over magazines for no reason besides her last name, vapid personality and endless array of extensions?

Now, let me be clear: I LOVE People magazine. I love to look at the pics and get the scoop on Hollywood’s hottest. Mostly, it’s about coveting purses and shoes and getting inspiration for my next TJMaxx binge. Sometimes it’s to play voyeur. But the endless deluge of self-destructing celebutantes like Lindsay, Britney, Paris and Nicole drives me crazy.

As a person, Paris Hilton deserves as much respect as the next person. (Something about us all being created equal, which also the philosophy behind her stint in the slamma.)

But as a public figure, she frustrates me because a lot of it is an act. (Same goes for Jessica Simpson and Tara Reid, let's hope.) Yet so many innocent young girls are following her cues and giving up important goals like saving the world in lieu of looking hot. Or playing dumb or snobby because they think that’s empowering.

Reese Witherspoon said it best: “Creating a cultural icon out of someone who goes, ‘I’m stupid, isn’t it cute?’ makes me want to throw daggers. Saying that to young women, little girls, my daughter, is not okay. I want to say to them, ‘My grandma did not fight for what she fought for, and my mother did not fight for what she fought for, just so you can start telling women it’s fun to be stupid.”

Amen, Reese. Too bad more girls don’t look up to you. Even your ditzy Elle Winters was smarter and more benevolent than Paris has ever been – in public, at least.

I nominate Reese to be the new tween idol. No, I nominate Reese’s grandmother. Or America Ferrera, who is giving Ugly a pretty name.

Shoot, let’s forget celebrities altogether.

What about Kory Arvizu-Johnson, who became an environmental activist at the age of 9 when she founded Children for a Safe Environment and continues to fight to keep toxic waste out of low-income communities?

Or my mom, who is one of the most sincere, honest and dedicated people I know. Not to mention she makes a mean gazpacho.

What do you think?

Is Paris your idea of an icon?

And who do you consider to be a real role model? (And how do you convince your kids to look up to them instead?)

Share. ‘Cause that’s hot!



p.s. Part of this is research for an upcoming article so if you’d like to elaborate, please email me!