HTT - Sleepover Edition

Question: Whose blog is this?

Answer: Mine ... which means that I can totally renege on my deal without being duplicitous. In fact, I can call my blogging twist a literary device. So despite what I promised yesterday, I’m not going to use all your suggestions to help me write my blog this week ... because so many of you sent me such fabulous suggestions that I can’t force myself to address them all in one pithy week. Instead, I’m going to drag them out until they die a slow, painful, but interesting death. Or until I’m sick of using them. ‘Cause it’s my blog and all.

And in another twist, today’s Hot Topic comes from a “reader” suggestion posed to me over chili last night. (Did I mention it was served in sourdough bread bowls? Had she asked me to blog on synthetic fibers I would have obliged.)

And the topic is this: Slumber parties: Good idea or bad idea?

Now, I must say that this reader/friend in question has basically made a decision to not allow her daughter to attend slumber parties in the future. Partly because we live in a crazy world where sometimes seemingly good people can do terrible things. Partly because you just don’t know what goes on when someone else is supervising your children.

I used to think anti-slumber party people were crazy or super strict. After all, I spent half of my teenage life on Mrs. Jay’s floor. (I always said that I preferred to sleep on the ground, lest you think she was cruel. I’m slightly compulsive about making other people happy.) Our sleepovers were a highlight of my youth and the source of many great adventures that will one day be shared here.

However, I’ve since realized that not everyone is lucky enough to go to Mrs. Jay’s house, where 3 a.m. showings of “Gidget” were as crazy as it got. After all, teens and slumber parties can sometimes be a reckless combination. And even if you trust the family hosting the event, baaaaad things have happened at slumber parties involving adults and children. (I know because I covered these kinds of court cases when I was a reporter in Utah, and they call it “Happy Valley” there.)

Plus, who hasn’t had a weird sleepover experience? In second grade I went to a friend’s slumber party, where her parents had rented “Nightmare on Elm Street” for our entertainment. Not only do I never watch rated-R movies (even today), but it was hardly appropriate for a 7-year-old. I managed to convince a few girls to play Barbies in another room, but I ultimately called my mom to come and get me because my friend’s parents gave me the creeps.

And I’m sure you all could share a similar story. (And I hope you do!)

I did suggest to my friend that you only allow your kids to sleepover at homes you’ve visited with parents you know well. But she made a good point that you don’t ever want to create a friendship hierarchy where certain friends are allotted more privileges than others, especially if it has little to do with them and more to do with their parents. As a result, she plans to create a general rule.

But will I? I honestly don’t know. I typically hate rules that alienate kids from their peers, or that can be misconstrued as “Mormons don’t trust others.” And I worry about overprotecting children as much as I worry about protecting them. But when you’re talking about issues like child endangerment maybe it’s better to be safe than sorry?

And is it OK to not let them attend other people’s sleepovers but to happily sponsor them at my house? ‘Cause that sounds good in theory but probably a little judgmental in reality.

What about you? Have you thought about this Hot Topic much?

Will you or won’t you let your kids attend sleepovers?

If yes, how will you make sure they’re safe?

We’re listening.