Middle name game

For those of you who don’t already know, Miss Dub has not one, but two middle names.

It’s a long story that involves a dying sister and a promise and a miraculous recovery. (The summary sounds heartless, but, trust me, there were many tears.)

So Miss Dub got two middle names, which will make standardized tests a pain to take -- just imagine all the bubbles she’ll need. On the other hand, it will give us an additional level of name-calling seriousness when she acts up.

One middle name = You’re busted!
Two middle names = You’re grounded!

It’s a bit excessive, I know, but I’m a fan of middle names.

In fact, I used to be passionately insistent on them. I just didn’t understand why some families bestowed middle names upon their boys but left their girls without them. I understand the concept that women will take their maiden names as middle names upon marriage, hence no technical need for a middle name. But what about the daughter who never marries? Or one who chooses to keep her maiden name? (Either for a personal reason or because her new last name would be Imafloozy.)

Is there a name shortage out there? Is there something environmentally indulgent about having four names after marriage? Are you gluttonous if you don’t ax one or the other? Last I checked you can keep both your middle and maiden names for legal purposes. Sure, you’ll have to pay a little extra for your monogrammed towels, but if you’re still buying those you deserve to be penalized.

I just worry what message we might send to our daughters. For example, Heidi Klum and Seal’s son has the following name: Henry Guenther Ademola Dashtu. Her daughter: Leni. Think she might be feeling a little left out?

But I digress. I’m beginning to sound passionate about the topic when I’ve actually made peace with it. Because it dawned on me a while ago that maybe some families don’t give their daughters middle names just because it’s tradition; just like it’s my family’s tradition to have them. (And my new family’s tradition to have two!)

So I’m going to stop crying foul when your daughters don’t have middle names. I’m going to embrace the fact that you’re honoring a family custom. You’re sending a message to your daughter that she is loved. That she belongs. That she doesn’t need a middle name to be complete.

Just don’t give me any flak for Miss Dub getting two. After all, if you’re not going to use your middle name option, I’m going to take it.

Do you have a middle name?