Let's talk pads

Not me or my mother

I don't get out much these days due to the cold, my recovering abdomen and my general loser-ness. However, my mother and I did have a rousing discussion about the shoulder pad craze. All this time, I thought that shoulder pads were only donned with blazers and dresses, and that they were usually sewn in to the clothing.

Turns out - prepare yourself! - that women wore separate shoulder pads underneath everything, including basic T-shirts. And, as me mum confessed to doing herself, some people double padded. The insanity, I tell you!

And despite the sheer craziness of it all, my mom thinks that shoulder pads will be the next trend to reappear, albeit in a more modern form. (My mom has asked me to clarify here that it's not her wish, but her prediction.) But I just can't envision a return of women looking like NFL players.

So what do you think will be the next recycled fashion trend?

(Please don't say teased bangs ... seriously.)

The SFG

The seasonal fashion genie came to me in a dream last night and informed me that he would be granting me and my blog readers three wishes today.

Unfortunately, my SFG is uptight and set out some pretty strict guidelines that almost took the fun out of making my wishlist ... almost.

He said we had to select the following for our three wishes:

1. A pair of shoes

2. A piece of outerwear

3. A smashing accessory

And all of them must be fall fashions.

So after much debate, and way too much time online, I've finally made my wishes:

1. Nine West 'Alyn' flat

2. free people 'Russian Trapeze' coat

3. kate spade 'Montserrat - Jocelyn' clutch

Now, it's your turn. Share your wishes below, or link to your blog in the comments so we can see them in all their fall-tastic glory.

I will warn you that my seasonal fashion genie is terribly slow at wish delivery. I'm still waiting on some banana clips and Units clothing I wished for in fourth grade.

(And I already asked if I could just wish for more wishes. He said that's "cheating." Jerk.)

Fashion police

So I did it.

I chopped a good six inches off my hair on Saturday and added a few extra highlights for fun.

So, “Why no picture, Mrs. Break-Your-Promise-Head?”

Because, while I like it, I don’t loooove it. It’s good, but I think it could better.

The problem is I don’t think my hairdresser thought I was cool enough for some of the cuts that I had cut out of mags. So rather than go to town with her razor, she just did a few routine strokes through my hair … which made it cute, but not cutting edge.

So it’s a nice change, but it’s left me wanting. Which is why I’ll spend the rest of today standing in front of the mirror and/or making a pro/con list of whether I should go back to the salon for additional snipping.

Pro: It doesn’t make me look fat.
Con: It definitely says “bob.”

But the sad reality is people just don’t consider me to be worthy of anything edgy or fashion-forward these days. No matter how cute and eclectic I dress to fool my stylist.

I had my heyday.

Back in middle school, I was the frequent victim of fashion taunting, although for some reason I managed to be cool regardless. (Probably because my partner in crime and I were too loud and wacky to be pegged as losers.)

There was the time that we discovered a bag of plastic barrettes on sales at the dollar store and began to clip several randomly in our hair. Not a year later, those barrettes were popular prom hair wear … and a total precursor to the bobby-pin hair craze still sweeping the nation.

We wore vintage on a daily basis. We sported flip-flops when most people still wore Flojos. We practically created the "other people's vacations" T-shirt phenomenon.

In college, I went a little more mainstream in terms of my clothing sources – suddenly the Gap wasn’t so bourgeoisie– but continued to stay ahead of trends by layering before it was cool and predicting the cowboy craze a good two years in advance.

Then, I went a mission for my church ... and I got a little behind, seeing as third-world countries aren't a hotbed of haute couture.

And while I managed to catch up some upon my return, I promptly got married and fat, which I don’t recommend if you’re considering doing it – getting fat, not married, of course. Because when you’re fat, not only can you not find hip clothes in your size, but you are reluctant to shop or draw any extra attention to your body.

Now that I’ve lost 33 pounds, I’m starting to get back into shopping.

But can I ever recapture my style radar?

Will I ever be ahead of fashion or doomed to follow it like a lovesick fool?

And will I ever, ever convince someone that I’m worthy of a crazy haircut?

Or is this all just a part of getting old?

What about you? Are your more or less fashionable now than you were when you were younger? Do you shop at stores you never would have considered, or are you pickier now?

Do tell.