Insurance woes, or why I want to be a man

Have you ever wondered if I am really a man?

I haven't. I mean, I've never been a high-maintenance gal, but I've always been grounded in my femininity. I love salad, for heaven's sake. So it came as some surprise when my insurance began refusing to pay for my obstetrician bills on the grounds that I wasn't a woman.

Yeah, they thought I was a man. Thankfully, one phone call was all it took to persuade them otherwise. (I would have been a little ashamed if they would have insisted on a birth certificate or makeup bag examination. I do have a husky voice, after all.) So the good news is that I can continue to use the lady's room instead of going to the plain ol' bathroom, since men refuse to call it the "gentleman's quarters" ... or maybe just my husband won't.

The bad news is that I am now being charged an extra 400 snaps a month for maternity coverage, which I don't technically need right now, but which I hope to need sometime next year. (Presuming my lady parts get their act together.) I guess they weren't charging me for maternity coverage when they thought I was a dude, assuming it was some sort of clerical error. And, thankfully, they aren't making me pay back payments, but an extra $400 a month isn't cheap - bringing the grand total to $850 a month for me and Miss Dub.

Yeah, my husband's work doesn't provide group insurance for spouses - boo! You can get a pre-tax plan, but it's got all the bells and whistles (aromatherapy, venom-based prescriptions, etc.) so it's much pricier than most independent plans. Too bad, because independent plans won't cover my endocrinology care, which constitutes a large chunk of my medical needs. And I really wonder if a new provider would cover my gyno needs considering my recent experiences.

But let's assume they did - any suggestions on health care providers or plans? I currently use a PPO because I'm really partial to my endo and gyno. (As my friends know, I really wish my gyno was my best friend, but she's just not responding to my personal questions at the end of my medical emails. I guess inviting her to a BBQ might be a conflict of interest?)

Please, hook me up with some affordable insurance. Or get my husband a new job (in San Diego). Or let me know of someone who does cheap gender reassignment surgeries. Because being a man wasn't very fun, but it was economical.