Insurance woes, or why I want to be a man

Have you ever wondered if I am really a man?

I haven't. I mean, I've never been a high-maintenance gal, but I've always been grounded in my femininity. I love salad, for heaven's sake. So it came as some surprise when my insurance began refusing to pay for my obstetrician bills on the grounds that I wasn't a woman.

Yeah, they thought I was a man. Thankfully, one phone call was all it took to persuade them otherwise. (I would have been a little ashamed if they would have insisted on a birth certificate or makeup bag examination. I do have a husky voice, after all.) So the good news is that I can continue to use the lady's room instead of going to the plain ol' bathroom, since men refuse to call it the "gentleman's quarters" ... or maybe just my husband won't.

The bad news is that I am now being charged an extra 400 snaps a month for maternity coverage, which I don't technically need right now, but which I hope to need sometime next year. (Presuming my lady parts get their act together.) I guess they weren't charging me for maternity coverage when they thought I was a dude, assuming it was some sort of clerical error. And, thankfully, they aren't making me pay back payments, but an extra $400 a month isn't cheap - bringing the grand total to $850 a month for me and Miss Dub.

Yeah, my husband's work doesn't provide group insurance for spouses - boo! You can get a pre-tax plan, but it's got all the bells and whistles (aromatherapy, venom-based prescriptions, etc.) so it's much pricier than most independent plans. Too bad, because independent plans won't cover my endocrinology care, which constitutes a large chunk of my medical needs. And I really wonder if a new provider would cover my gyno needs considering my recent experiences.

But let's assume they did - any suggestions on health care providers or plans? I currently use a PPO because I'm really partial to my endo and gyno. (As my friends know, I really wish my gyno was my best friend, but she's just not responding to my personal questions at the end of my medical emails. I guess inviting her to a BBQ might be a conflict of interest?)

Please, hook me up with some affordable insurance. Or get my husband a new job (in San Diego). Or let me know of someone who does cheap gender reassignment surgeries. Because being a man wasn't very fun, but it was economical.

HTT - Baby Edition

So there aren't many perks to my pregnancy issues, other than the chance to wear maternity clothes even sooner than usual. (And we all know how thrilling it is to strap on that ill-fitting elastic waistband for the first time, although it does make frequent bathroom breaks easier.)

One potential perk, however, is that I'll probably find out the gender of my unborn child sooner considering I'll be getting weekly glimpses at Baby Dub and his/her solar system of cysts. First, I think that just validates my earlier HTT decision to not pay $250 snaps to find out my baby's gender via blood test at six weeks. And it proves my other HTT decision to find out the gender pre-labor since it would be nearly impossible to avoid a glimpse at my unborn's privates over the course of 20+ weeks. And if something takes a lot of effort or extra work - "Don't tell me, nurse!" - I consider it unnatural.

So, yea for me, I guess.

Anyway, as if the baby gender issue hasn't been exhausted already, I do want to find out if any of you have ever wanted a specific gender. Like, really, really wanted a baby to be a boy or girl. 'Cause I really don't care myself, though I've already discussed how another girl would be an economical choice considering Miss Dub's extensive wardrobe. But I'd be thrilled to have a boy. And I'd be thrilled to have all girls - just not 10 of them. That's just stupid. Shoot, I'd even be thrilled to have all boys if that didn't mean I'd have to somehow figure out a way to travel back in time and swap out chromosomes.

I've just always figured that you get what you get. (And you don't throw a fit.)

But, then again, I only have one so far. So what do I know?

So let's be honest and hear what reasons some of you have for wanting one gender over another. And the perks to having all of the same or a variety.

And then let's guess what I'm having. 'Cause that's fun. And, let's face it, pregnancy is not.

HTT - Y Edition

My mother has an obsession with numbers. For example, when she was visiting, she made me tell her the addresses of homes we were considering buying. When I mentioned them to her, she said, "Well, 29 isn't a great number, but 36 will work."

So imagine my thrill last year when I found out that the half-way mark in my pregnancy happened to be my birthday, which also happened to be the day that I was scheduled to have an ultrasound to determine the gender of Miss Dub, who was only Baby Dub at that point. But in a series of bizarre twists, I arrived at the doctor's office all a'flutter, only to have them give me a quick check-up and send me out the door. Before leaving, I skittishly inquired, "What about my ultrasound?" Turns out in Colorado you have to make a separate appointment to get an ultrasound, which no one informed me about. I blame the altitude.

Anyway, my insane excitement to find out my baby's gender coupled with the numerical significance of it being my birthday proved too much. I was DEVASTATED. Like, I threw myself a pity party that may or may not have involved a McDonald's bacon, egg and cheese biscuit and a little crying. But a few days later, I went to my (Colorado-mandated) appointment and in a few minutes, I knew my "it" was a "she." And my impatience seemed sort of silly. I mean, what difference did a few days make? After all, I already had boy and girl names picked out, and I was still a couple months away from decorating decisions.

So it was with some surprise/shock/interest that I spoke with a woman the other day who found out the gender of her baby at SEVEN weeks pregnant. SEVEN weeks. I mean, I'd still be double-checking pregnancy tests at that point, and she's already settled on a name. And I thought I was impatient!

Because there is a new blood test that claims to determine a baby's gender by identifying the presence (or lack thereof) of a Y-chromosome. I won't go into the accuracy of it all because I honestly don't know. (Also, because the Web site looks a bit like an infomercial, which is kind of sketchy when you're talking science.) Oh, and did I mention that the test costs $250 snaps?

Now, I'm not one to judge (except when I do, which is 99.9 percent of that time, which is more accurate than a pregnancy test) ... but I think the whole concept is a little strange. I mean, it's one thing if the blood test was available in your doctor's office, in which case, "Yes, please!" But to pay that much money to find out the gender of your baby before you even need maternity underoos just seems a little unnecessary.

In this woman's case, she is building a home and hoped to find out the gender to help in the planning and painting phase so, touché. But for the ordinary woman with an ordinary pregnancy, I say - wait! (But only until 20 weeks for me, people; I don't have the patience of Job!)

I know lots of you love to wait until your babies are born to examine their respective parts, but what about those of you who like to find out sooner - Would you ever do this?

I want to say I wouldn't, but I can be very impatient, especially on my birthday.

HTT - Gender edition

There are a lot of Hot Topics that you don’t know about until you become a mom, but some start before baby is even born.

Like, finding out the gender of your unborn child.

Why this topic is on my unpregnant mind I don’t know, but it may have something to do with a few friends who recently discovered they are having girls in November. (Seriously, are there seasonal patterns to gender? Because Miss Dub was the fifth girl in two months to be born into our church congregation last fall.)

It also might have to do with the fact that a sleeptastic Miss Dub is making me baby hungry. That and I’ve recently taken to looking at her newborn photos, which I highly advise against unless you want to throw your birth control out the window and/or sob for how fast your little one has grown.

But I digress. What’s new?

When I was pregnant with Miss Dub, it didn’t even cross my mind to keep her gender a secret until she was born. I mean, why wouldn’t I want to know? Why wouldn’t I want to prepare for a boy or girl as needed? Why wouldn’t I want to break up my daily vomiting sprees with a little information so I could say, “She is making me throw up insane amounts,” instead of, “It is giving me an aversion to Asian cuisine.”

So when people first started to ask me if I was going to find out our baby’s gender, I innocently responded, “Yes,” only to have some stranger unleash a can of beat down on me for being so weak.

The most common reason to not find out, apparently, is that it gives you something to look forward to in labor. I don’t get this one. I mean, it’s not like you can avoid labor no matter how much you aren’t looking forward to it. And isn’t seeing your baby a pretty good motivator to push through it? (Pun sadly intended.)

Plus there are other good reasons to find out – it helps you prepare not only physically for baby but mentally, as well. Because I was totally convinced I was having a boy until we found out Miss Dub was a little girl. Though I was initially shocked – and others have certainly been disappointed, which I don’t get – I felt like she’d always been my little girl by the time she was born. And shopping for cute dresses didn’t suck.

However, I do respect your decision to not find out. I admire you. I can’t even wait for the popcorn to finish popping most nights, and we all know I can’t wait for paint to dry. So the idea that your doctor knows a really important secret for five months that you don’t would be too much for me.

And I do understand not finding out when you have children of both genders. That way, you have all the appropriate clothing and gear to meet his or her needs. But, honestly, I would still be too curious to wait. And I don’t think that makes me weak. And I don’t think it’s cheating.

But what about you?

Did you find out the gender of your unborn child(ren)? Do you plan to next time?

And for our adoptive moms, would you consider requesting a specific sex for your child, or is that cheating?

We sooo need to be schooled in these things.