HTT - Extracurricular edition

First, thanks for all your fun feedback from yesterday. Shoot, I think Mel will keep HTT thriving for years to come with all her ideas. And I think you all convinced me that I don't necessarily need to blog less, I just need to stop expecting my blogs to be hilarious anecdotes or inspiring revelations. Sometimes they might just be a pic; Sometimes, there might be nothing, and that's OK. I'll stop short of the "You like me, you really like me!" impersonation because I've disliked Sally Field since my mother once compared me to her as a teenager, as if we were in the same peer group. ("Don't worry, honey! Lots of young people have arthritis. Sally Field, for example!")

Second, I'm really not that skinny, people. I think my face is just getting old, which means my chipmunk cheeks are now sinking into my face. Let's face it, we all can't look as young as Sally Field!

Third, you know it's a good HTT when someone suggests the topic to Mr. Dub and I, and we promptly get into an argument about it. Then again, we're pretty good at debating in our household. I don't suppose it would surprise you if I told you I'm a bit stubborn in my opinions?

So here's the topic: How far should you push your kids? Specifically, in extracurricular things. We all know that Tiger Woods is an amazing golfer, due in part to a father who bred him to be an amazing golfer. The guy had no choice. He probably doesn't even know if he ever wanted to be something else. Golf was his destiny ... or so his father decided.

Other kids are thrown into a million extracurricular events in hopes that they will be balanced and talented and, presumably, more marketable as college applicants. Sometimes the children are happy to be so involved, other times not so much. And most probably wouldn't notice if they had a few less lessons and a bit more playtime.

But it's a tough situation. You don't want to let your kids give up on an extracurricular pursuit just because it's challenging or because they're not the best at it. Some of the best athletes and musicians failed in the beginning or needed a little prodding.

But I say you shouldn't force a child to continue with something if he/she has made a valiant effort at it and still isn't having fun - even if they're really good at it. I also don't think you should get your kids involved in more than 2-3 extra things for fear of crowding out basic childhood experiences, like building forts. And, finally, I definitely think you have to examine your motives and make sure you aren't trying to live vicariously through your child. I mean, as Mr. Toys R. Us once said, "Let a kid be a kid!"

Mr. Dub, however, disagrees with me a bit. He thinks that you shouldn't let a child quit when they're displaying natural talent at something. And that you shouldn't let them stop just because they aren't having fun. He also says that our boys can never pursue dancing or acting, but I'm assuming he's joking. Right?

What do you all think?

How much is too much when it comes to extracurricular activities? How can you determine if your child is giving up or making the right decision to quit? And, finally, do you think amazing athletes and musicians are made from pushy parents? Or do you think you can be a star these days with an average amount of encouragement?

C'mon, my marriage is riding on this! Joking ... mostly joking.



p.s. Looking for a good read? Go here, where I'm of no help whatsoever.