Coupons are for wimps

A lot of you have been emailing me, wondering how my coupon quest is going. Actually, no one has emailed me. What, am I not cool any more? You're all into podcasts, or something?

Anyway, my coupon quest is going great. Like, I totally canceled my Grocery Game membership on Monday. It's not that I wasn't saving money. On one occasion, I went to CVS and got $60 worth of free stuff. Free. Totally free. Most of it feminine hygiene products. And I was generally saving $40-50 on each grocery trip to Jewel-Osco, so that's all good and nice.

But there were hidden costs: my sanity! Clipping coupons and preparing a compatible menu took me a few hours each week. And since our fridge likes to declare its complete emptiness on Monday mornings, it was a few hours each Monday morning. In my pajamas.

Shopping with coupons was no cake walk, either. Actually, a cake walk wouldn't be that easy for me because I don't have much of a sweet tooth. But let's assume that the term is "nacho walk," in which case, shopping with coupons was no nacho walk, either. I was going through a couple suckers to keep Miss Dub entertained and still leaving with a migraine. Also, a cart with a sampling of products and brands I would never buy without coupons. (I almost bought LA Looks hair gel. On the bible.)

So on Monday I told myself, "Forget it. This is not worth the stress. Spending too much might have been bad on your budget, but it was good for your mental health." Also, we don't have a budget, but we are thinking about starting one with your donations from my upcoming podcasts.

I cannot describe the weight I felt lifted off my shoulders. I imagine it's like unto someone who has committed a heinous crime and spent years on the lam before finally confessing. Except they would end up in a small prison cell, whereas I had the freedom to head to my nearest Dominick's and put Miss Dub in one of those cute shopping carts that looks like a car. (FYI, after 10 minutes she announced, "I done driving," which brought down the cuteness factor quite a bit.)

When I got to the checkout, my bill was the same as when I was using coupons. It was a scam! I felt elated! I felt vindicated! I felt - cheated, when I looked in my cart and realized that I had half the amount of groceries I would have had using coupons.

So now I don't know. I think I'm going to try my own coupon strategies at Super Target, where the prices are consistently lower. Or I may just hold out for those donations. By the way, what is a podcast?