Hot, Cold, Cancer

Up until recently, like yesterday, I couldn't figure out which direction to turn the faucet to get hot or cold water.

I mean, I could read the little instruction on the base that pointed left for red/hot and right for blue/cold. But did that mean to turn the base so it pointed in that direction, or to turn the handle to point in that direction?

Now that I've figured it out (the handle, people!), I feel like a complete idiot, whereas I formerly just felt like a semi-idiot.

The whole thing has reminded me of some of my most idiotic moments. Like, when Mrs. Jay told me yesterday that her recently removed mole is malignant melonoma. But due to her chipper vocal delivery, I temporarily confused benign and malignant and congratulated her on the great news.

But it's not good news. Malignant is bad. Melonoma is worse, although the docs think they removed all the cancerous cells before it spread. Still, she has to see several doctors to make sure she's in the clear.

We're in hot water, here, people.



... But to lighten the mood - and heaven knows Mrs. Jay is good at that - what are some of your most idiotic moments? (Benign stories, please!)

They're sooo in!

I know, I know, it's already past noon, and I've yet to blog.

But I'm having some blogger's block.

And the only thing I can think to share is what an editor once told me when we were brainstorming story ideas for the home & garden section.

HER: "You know what is sooo in right now?"

ME: (Enthusiastically.) "What?"

HER: "Staircases."

ME: (Blank stare.)

I mean, aren't staircases somewhat of a necessity when one needs to get from one floor to another? Or have they been merely decorative all this time, and I'm the only fool who doesn't know another way to transport myself between stories?

We had a similar conversation later that year when brainstorming for a feature story.

HER: "You know what is sooo in right now?"

ME: (Less enthusiastically.) "What?"

HER: "Being a mom."

ME: (Blanker stare.)

Yeah, I'm pretty sure being a mom isn't a trend. And if it is, then its heyday was the mid-1800s. In which case, being a mom makes you an antique. Or retro. Or way too tired to blog.

What else is sooo in right now?