6.06.2008

My little drummer girl

Miss Dub already likes to dress herself. And if you think fashion sense is genetic, it's not. It's an acquired skill, and I can only hope that these early, awkward acquisitions lead to future outfits with coordinating colors. (Or at least thoughtfully mismatched ones as is über-hip these days.)

It takes some serious self control to let my child out of the house wearing pink cowboy boots and red shorts. I try not to be embarrassed or make explanatory comments to strangers - after all, isn't fashion about discovering yourself? - but it's hard not to when she looks like I just found her on the doorstep ... of Weird Al's house.

So much of parenting is trying not to control your children - forcing them to do or behave the way you would. Like, I'm obsessed with simple, modern children's products. I daydream of toy boxes full of wooden blocks and kid gear void of plastic, bright colors, characters or noises. So far, I'm failing, mostly thanks to grandparents who are happy to give Miss Dub the brightest and loudest toys they can find.

And you know what? She loves them. She likes her big turtle-shaped toy-holder in the bathtub, even though I lay awake at night thinking of ways I could make a simple beige pouch to replace it. She likes her Winnie Pooh plastic car, complete with obnoxious songs. (And, let's be honest, Pooh is one creepy bear.)

I need to make peace with it. I need to realize that she's not going to like the same things and styles as me for the rest of her life. I marched to the beat of my drum, so why should I try to keep control of her drumsticks?

But I seriously draw the line at light-up character shoes ... but ask me again in a few years when she's throwing a fit in the middle of Target.

22 comments:

steph said...

fortunately for miss dub, she has a mother who marched to the beat of her own drum... who wants normal?! ha. i'm not sure i know what the word means.

plus, i'm almost 26, and i still can't seem to dress myself very well most times, so at least she's in good company.

Mary said...

I hardly even know where to go with this since ... you ... were my loudest drummer of all.

And yes it IS hard.

But I will enjoy every single minute of sitting back and watching the whole process.

Leisha Mareth said...

I love that picture, she looks adorable. I also love seeing children out in public who obviously dressed themselves. You know, cowboy boots with a superman cape... love. it.

I have avoided having my children ever wear obnoxious characters on their clothing, but the light up shoes? Well, just don't ever let them see them! The good news is they have tame looking plain ones now sans the characters...

Anonymous said...

I have managed to avoid all character clothing and shoes for my children. You can do it! Those things are just too annoying. Just stay strong! :)

P Daddy said...

Wonderful pic of Miss Dub. Like you could force your opinion on this little one with the steel will--don't think so. And fashion sense may not be genetic--but stubborness seems to be (Papa to Mrs. Dub to Miss Dub). So which drum pad set should I get her for our next visit??

Seriously, I read where several of the Play-a-Sound and Play-a-Song toys play at more than 100 dB, with hearing damage possible at 85 dB, so we'll try to tone it down.

But, only silent, character anonymous, gray, wooden toys from the GPs from now on--probably not!!.

Cichelli said...

I swore against lightup shoes and character shoes. Then one day my 2 year old stood underneath flashing Spiderman sandals in Journeys kids, with the biggest eyes ever, muttering "please...please...please...please" -- so how do you say no to that?!

He usually is dressed as one superhero or another with cowboy boots over the Spiderman costume and a homemade Ironman mask.

I am dreading heelies.

The lesson I learned is picking battles. I don't want to say no all the time, just when it really matters. And as much as it pains me to say it, spiderman sandals don't really matter.

zeeny said...

I draw the line at all character shoes!! My rule is they can wear whatever they want in the house but when we go in public mommy has a say. My three year old is a bit harder to convince of that rule than my five year old, but I will slowly give her here own drumsticks when she has a bit more taste!!!

melissa said...

somebody else mentioned them so i have to pipe in...heelies are the worst creation ever! i don't have kids, but i know that when i do heelies better not be cool anymore or else i will have a heart-broken kid. i will buy flashing shoes long before heelies! evil evil shoes!

but other that forbidding heelies, i will let them wear what they want(within reason). who am i to judge? i used to think red and purple looked marvelous together!

brookegfunk said...

today its character shoes tomorrow its emo -i guess we have to pick our battles and coming from you (remember your layering days?) you should count your blessings she is only going for the country boots mixed with city wear!

LCM said...

I totally want to create a line of creative pins, the gist of which will read...I dressed myself today. Variations could include, I dressed myself in the dark today or Daddy helped dress me today.

emily & david said...

Almost bought those airwalks at payless. Gotta love BOGO time.

steph said...

what's wrong with character shoes? i think light-up character shoes are awesome! let kids be kids... that's what i say!

kids like characters... i loathe barney, but when a kid has barney shoes on, i don't judge... the poor kid loves barney. why should his parents not let him have barney shoes? what's wrong with them? do they teach bouncy-walking or pigeon-toe'd-ness? if so, then by all means, ban them... but otherwise what's the harm?

now, if i see a 20-something in barney shoes, that's a different story!

steph said...

3 comments on one post... seriously, i just need the attention.

anyway.

heelies are the worst! i say -- ban those! those DO make kids walk bouncy on their toes...

that's not good for anyone.

Heidi said...

I drew the line at character shoes too, but somehow a pair of Dora shoes slipped in.

liz said...

It was a sad day when I succumbed to the Darth Vader light-up shoes. But I for one look at children in mis-matched clothing and think "that mother has her priorities straight." I hope others think the same when they see my street urchin-esque offspring.

Miriam Herm said...

my line is drawn with character clothes anything--except dress up clothes. but she can mis match if she wants. i like to think of it as her expressing herself and it delights me that she's not the bump on the log at 2 that she was when she was first born.

Joey and Megan said...

One of my favorite memories with my youngest, who is almost 4: She was on a big kick with the dress up shoes, the little plastic ones that really click when you walk, so I finally gave up and let her wear them out. We have never had so much attention paid to us in Target, and it made so many people happy to see her walking around like that. My response was, "You're only 3 once, right?"

Lindsey from The R House said...

what is it with grandparents and loud annoying toys like elmo that sings and dances "the chicken dance"? yes ...we have one.

stop the madness.

Amber (EyesofAmber) said...

I totally agree with Icm. I have often thought there needs to be a way to give notification to the general public that I was not at all involved in the outfit my child has chosen to wear. I may have bought the close, but I didn't buy those together. They know that Mommy chooses church clothes, and if we have some other important function to go to, we force the issue, but otherwise, I try to let them do their own thing.

We do character clothing and shoes, even the light up ones. The boys love them and I figure, why not just let them be children while they're little? They'll grow up far too soon so I don't feel any need to rush them.

Like someone else said, you have to pick your battles. In ten years, will it really matter that they wore character clothing and light up shoes? I'd rather save the battles for the things that will shape who they become. We have to remember that although we may see them as such, they are not simply an extension of ourselves. They are their own little people, completely independent of who we are. Like Mary said, it's hard, but it's so wonderful to watch.

Bartimaeus said...

I thought it was Dave dressing her. =)

Kelley Bochman Smith said...

I like Miss Dubbs natural grandmother, like to buy all those crazy things for my glam-babies. Who cares about what the parents think anyway?!!! and I cab't help it , I love the pooh bear......

Colleen said...

I haven't bought Elijah ANY character clothing. Not my thing at all. My philosophy (at least now, when he's too young to care) is that if I wouldn't wear it, and Jim wouldn't wear it, I'm not going to buy it for my kid. He can choose what he wants to wear, but I'm only getting good options!