When I was in the hospital recovering from my C-section, I had two well-meaning hospital staffers ask me about my baby. One maintenance woman asked me if my baby was going to go home with me when I was released - assuming, I guess, that I had a preemie in the intensive care unit, hence my empty room. Sadly, I had to tell her my baby died, which upset her so much I felt terrible. So when my nurse started to give me advice on taking care of a newborn, I didn't have the heart to remind her that my baby hadn't made it. So I played along ... and it kinda hurt.
Clearly, there was no blatant signal for staffers that let them know I was mourning my baby. Although on the last day I was there, Mr. Dub did find a sign that said, "Bereavement," taped to my door. Needless to say, that's got to change. I wasn't too bothered by those comments because I had two full weeks to prepare for such incidents. But what about the mom who has a stillborn unexpectedly? Such comments could be devastating for her.
I know some hospitals use a tear drop to signal the situation, but even that is a little insulting, in my opinion. Why not something cheerful? So I've decided to make my own door markers.
Enter Zuzu's Petals. Named after Baby Zee's nickname, these paper "love blossoms" will hang on the doors of mourning mothers to encourage sensitivity among hospital staff. In addition, they are a happy memento to add to a baby's memory box, which is all these mothers take home from the hospital.
Only catch - I need some help making the flowers. I've already received a generous donation of paper from Waste Not Paper - Paper Source's wholesale division - but I still need a pattern for the actual flowers. I've determined the best way to make them will be to use a die cut machine. I'm currently favoring the Cricut machine and its Walk in my Garden cartridge. That way the flowers can be textured but won't be too heavy to hang on a door with tape.
Anyone have connections with Provo Craft, maker of the Cricut machine? Or any other scrapbooking or paper company that might like to contribute to my cause? Please let me know as I'm looking for donations wherever I can get them. (And I will publicly laud them if they do contribute, I might add.)
When I get up a running - I'm dreaming of a Web site and official charity tax status - I will share my plans and patterns with ch'alls so you can help me flower the hospital doors of mourning mothers across the country. Shoot, the whole world!
I know there are a lot of great causes out there, but this one means something to me.
Help!
4.09.2008
Zuzu's Petals
Posted by Mrs. Dub at 7:18 AM
42 comments Leave a witty comment hereLabels: Baby Zee, Cricut, grief, infant loss, triploidy, Zuzu's Petals
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42 comments:
What a truly noble cause. And really what a great example of turning your loss and grief into something that will make it a bit easier for other mothers. Thank you again for your inspiration.
I don't know that I have any connections, but I'll see what I can dig up in my neck of the woods.
I don't have any connections either, but I will keep my ears open since this is truly a necessity as well as a nice gesture. When my brother and his wife lost their baby, they had a paper rose placed on their door as a symbol of what had happened. I would think that the nurses would appreciate this just as much as the parents. I can't even imagine having to "play along" with that nurse as you received your instructions. I don't play along very well. I love what you are doing.
Great idea!! I got teary reading your post Mrs. Dub!
I've emailed my friend who works at PC Layers (digi scrapbooking company in Utah County). She goes to the various conventions/shows, so I'll see if she knows anyone at Provo Craft.
You just amaze me! What a great idea and good for you to do something about this.
I don't have any connections, but I have emailed some crafty friends so you may get some emails from them. Thanks for sharing your story and doing something to make it easier for other moms who may have to go through a similar situation.
a beautiful entry and a beautiful cause. if you need man power to get them up and running or a representative in the greater Denver area, let me know - I would be honored to help.
such a good idea. i have two friends who work for provo craft in their marketing dept. i'm emailing them both with your blog post right now, and i'll be sure to let you know what i hear.
is there anything else we can do to help?
Mrs. Dub...my sister founded Quickutz which is a portable die cutting system. They have an electronic version which I am sure is better than the cricut!! (I'm not biased though!) Let me know if you are interested, maybe check out their website and let me know. (www.quickutz.com) You can email me at jbarzeeatnycapdotrrdotcom if you have more questions. My sister lost a baby at five months and had some bad experiences and I'm sure she would love this idea. I'm so impressed with the idea...what a great way to share the news without creating more sadness. Thanks
Hi! my good friend Sarah S emailed me, and PCraft just bought out pcLayers, so now I work for them. And my boss invented the cricut for his wife so she'd craft. Will you email me and we'll talk about seeing what they can do? :) nataliemalan(at)gmail(dot)com
This is terrific. The same thing happened to me in the hospital so I would be happy to assist in any way I can. I have a contact or two... not with Provo Craft, but another similar tool. I'll see if I can get some information and let you know.
Your post made me cry, as I have 2 friends who, within the last 3 weeks have lost their babies. I have sent out several emails... my connections are in the digi scrapbooking world. I wondered if that would be easier to get it designed, and then mass produce your flower? Just a thought. I would be honored to help in any other way that I can!
What a truly noble cause!
Every maternity ward needs this. Fabulous fabulous idea...
wow, who knew so many people had scrapbooking connections. since we have a cricut, i will start making these fowers in honor of baby zee as soon as you want me to.
love you.
I know (and so do you) a lawyer who may have some excess time on his hands shortly and a more charitable than usual mood who has done the corporate set up work for a couple 501(c)(3) charities and who would do the legal work for free. And I am sure there must be among your readers or their spouses a CPA and who would help with the IRS filings and accounting advice. In the meantime, you might peruse http://www.irs.gov/charities/foundations/index.html to get up to speed on that side of things and start keeping separate records of expenditures, donations (money or in kind), time spent, etc.
What a very good idea!
What a fabulous idea. As a Social Worker who works in the hospital, those simple reminders definitely make a difference. We use a picture of a flower or a leaf at my hospital.
I don't have any "scrapbook" connections but I am happy to be part of the man power if needed. Let me know.
Thank you for your inspiration.
i feel like a waste of space next to you. i'd love to walk into all the maternity wards i have access to (especially those my dad can get me special access to) and talk to grieving mothers and inform insesitive nurses. i had so many mean nurses in my hospital stays last year, i can't imagine what they would say to a mother in your situation.
good luck on your quest!
you're wonderful. i love you.
i have nothing to say except, good idea. and good luck. and i wish i was remotely crafty so i could help.
such a wonderful and creative idea, mrs. dub. i'm here for you and your cause in az.
I don't have paper connections, by my mother-in-law is an ob/gyn in Utah. I could pass along your finished product info to her and her hospital--it's an IHC, so they'd have hospitals all over the mountain west. I would also be happy to pass information along to my ob/gyn here in Illinois. I go to Lake Forest hospital if that's different from where you go.
I couldn't be prouder and am obviously willing to help out with hospitals here ... (in Seattle?) .. and with any manual labor that needs performed.
I love ZuZu, so I am more than predjudiced.
I also love ZuZu (only second in line with her two #1 grandmothers)I am so impressed at the reaction and quick thinking on behalf of all the gals (and guys)who read your blog! I am so proud of you Mrs. Dubb and of all you great people out there in blogland! It makes my heart soar!!!!
HI
I saw your blog through Melanie's and I love reading it, I hope thats ok. I have a friend in a similar situation as yours with Baby Zee. She almost died giving birth when she was five or six months along, and her baby passed away. While her husband was taking care of her, they signed their baby over to the hospital to be cremated. Well somewhere along the road, the hospital did not cremate the baby and they just called her a couple of weeks ago asking what she wanted to do with her baby. She was devastated, it was like re-living losing her baby all over again. After reading everything that you have written about baby Zee, I thought maybe you could tell her about your story so that she knows that she isnt alone. I think you could be a strength to her. Maybe you two could be strengths for eachother. Her blog is http://btmfamily.blogspot.com/
and her name is Tiffany. I hope I have not offended you by writing to you.
Steph
p.s. If you scroll down on her blog, you can read her story about baby emily.
Stephanie
Hi there. I left a comment on your post about potty. My dad is a pediatrician and is the medical director of the childerens hospital in Spokane, WA. He also is involved in alot of other hospital stuff through out the state, mainly Seattle. Anyway, I would love to help in your cause. What ever you need help with. Just let me know. Another little side note I'm a good friend of Kiersten Shelby (Roland) so you can contact her and she can contact me. Bless you.
mrs dub, this is a fabulous idea. once you get them printing I'd love to spread the word in the greater Houston area. i have a good relationship with my ob who's practice is quite large in the TX Medical center.
I have a friend who was a partner in a business called Scrapworks. I've emailed her, I'll let you know.
I would love to help out anyway I can. Just tell me when and where!
I have been reading your blog for awhile now and am truly inspired by your faith and strength through all of this. I think you have a great idea here. Sorry I don't really have any connections, but I own a Cricut machine if I can be of some help! Good luck with getting this up and running.
This is an awesome idea, and while I haven't thought of any immediate connections, I caught my first glimpse of Glamma Fabulous's scrapbooking supplies tonight and she probably has enough to create flowers for every hospital in the country! I'm sure you will be overwhelmed with support and donations and the hard part will actually be sorting through all of them.
Actually, the doctor who delivered my kids is now the head of something at St. Joe's, so once you get things up and running I do have a connection there! I would be absolutely honored to help in any way possible.
I am seriously shocked that a grieving mother had to endure being given newborn care instructions by her nurse after the passing of her baby. Seriously. Shocked.
Don't they have patient charts? They don't have thousands of patients at once do they? Clearly, this is a need that needs to be filled...and not by a giant teardrop on the door.
Brilliant idea. Brilliant. Once things are under way I'd be more than happy to spread the word and cheer you on in the process!
Amazing idea. You are brilliant. I'll be passing this post along... Yay for you! Let us know when, where, how to help... ;)
I'm Natalie's mom....and a Horne Hall roommate of your mom...
I miscarried my first two babies, both necessitating a D & C. I can still remember (after 32 years) how hard it was to be on the same floor with all the moms that had live births.
What a great idea you have...it would be a honor to be a part of your cause. I'm in SLC if you need a rep here.
I'll disribute in Colorado! Send me some info and stuff! Email me in my profile.
I know the scrapbook store near us gives you access to their cricut machine when you go in to 'crop'. Then there is actually no cost. Just a thought.
When I had Scott there was a paper flower taped to my door. I am lucky I didn't have anyone say anything to me. However, it seemed I would be just fine but right before anyone walked in my room I would start crying. I'm sure for them it seemed like I cried all the time.
I have also been trying to figure out some way to help those in the hospital dealing with the loss of their baby. The hospital made molds of Scott's hands and feet but I wished I had something more.
I think you are so lucky to have Baby Zee's box
Jessica
i LOVE this idea. i have a connection with Pebbles in my Pocket that i will look into.
you do amazing thing. amazing.
let me know how i can help in the salt lake area. also, i have a connection at a hospital in las vegas that i am sure would be willing to help.
I would be happy to help in any way that I can. The ob practice that I use is quite large and actually deals with three different hospitals. I would be glad to represent this product in my area. You have my email, so just let me know what I can do.
You are doing a great thing. The fact that this cause means something real to you means that you will be able to make the most impact there. We're all here for you, still thinking about you and praying for you.
This is such a great idea! My little daughter was unexpectedly still born on February 9 of this year. I was extremely blessed to have the worlds most amazing staff take care of me at McKay-Dee Hospital in Ogden, UT. My nurse was LDS and since she understood the eternal perspective of things she saw and treated our beautiful little "fetal demise"-as the rest of the medical community would say- with the reverence and respect that a soul without blemish deserves. Every mother going through this dark hour deserves this respect, and I was shocked when I read about your experience and so many others that I have come across! I don't have any paper connections, however, the SHARE organization would be a great resource. http://www.nationalshareoffice.com/ The Utah division of the SHARE organization offered a lot of support to me on that dark night, and I would be more than happy to put them in touch with you so that they can have your flowers distributed to their divisions all over the US! Please let me know if there is anything else I can do! Thank you so much for puting into words every feeling and emotion that I have felt in the past few months since my daughter Savannah went on to her new mission! It is strangely comforting to see that someone else has thought and felt the same things, when you seem to be surrounded by people that want to understand, but don't! Until we are reunited with our daughters again, maybe my little Savannah and your little Zee will serve together furthering the work of the Lord on the other side of the veil!
I know a good pediatric dentist.
You are an amazing sister-in-law!!!
Set up a paypal for donations and I will be first up.
This is a great idea - my sister is a nurse and the hospital she worked at had leaves that they hung on the door - much better than a tear drop! Love the name of yours! Its perfect!
Please let me know if there is a cartridge/supplies you need for any project relating to this.
Until we meet in this life or the next,
Grace at everythingcricut.blogspot.com
colorfulcreator.everythingcricut@blogger.com
I own a vinyl cutter and a vinyl company and I would LOVE to make these for you out of vinyl and the hospital staff could just stick them to the door or window in the door and then they would easily peel off for removal. They would not be reusable but I would love to donate this contact me at shannon_staker at hotmail dot com. Thanks!!!
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