I'm throwing a baby shower for my German friend on Saturday. We won't go into my proclivity to throw parties for other people, or the fact that no one is adhering to my "red, white and blue" food request, but we will discuss baby showers for today's Hot Topic.
When I asked my friend if I could throw her a baby shower, she fretted that it might not be appropriate since she's have her third child (her third girl). I said, "P'shaw!" both because I want to bring back that word and also because it's her first baby shower as such events are very American. Moreover, I firmly believe that you can have one baby shower in each area you live. If you choose to stay in one place, that's the price you pay. If you have to pack up and go with frequency, I say you deserve a little incentive. And if you have a whole load of friends, you're totally entitled to multiple parties, as long as you don't invite someone twice.
So now I'm busy coming up with red, white and blue foods - which isn't that hard; just think of the world of possibilities using blue corn tortilla chips! - and planning the entertainment. Oh yeah, here's the entertainment: there is none because I loathe a shower game more than I loathe my callused heels, and we're not even speaking these days. (Although I recently won a sweet prize at a bridal shower in Arizona after I correctly identified 48 out of 50 celebrity photos. I'm not sure whether I should be proud or embarrassed.)
Like my friend, I also don't like passing around gifts unless there is some intricate needlework that must be examined with a magnifying glass. Otherwise, let me eat my croissant in peace.
I mean, isn't that the real purpose of a shower: gabbing with friends while you hook a sister up with some needed gifts?
But what do you think?
Is it ever OK to have more than one baby or bridal shower?
As for me, I had a huge baby shower at Glamma's house in Arizona, and a smaller gig in Illinois. The latter I missed, however, as I was giving birth. I blame Miss Dub.
4.15.2008
HTT - Shower Edition
Posted by Mrs. Dub at 6:56 AM
29 comments Leave a witty comment hereLabels: baby showers, bridal showers, Hot Topic Tuesday, parties
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29 comments:
I've had four girls, and four showers. Excessive? probably. Appreciated? definitely. Besides, don't people give their friends baby gifts no matter what number of child they are having? It just makes sense to have a party and give the gifts all at the same time.
We moved right before I had three of my four kids, so I've never had a huge "ward" shower (this is where you feel really, really sad for me), but people have always been so kind to me, and I got tons of gifts when I had a girl after three boys. Around here, I don't think people would go for a big shower for every baby. But, a fun alternative for a close friend is to invite just a few people out for lunch and gifts for non-first babies. As for the big showers, I'm with you -- good food, let her open some gifts and call it good. Although if you can't give up the games, celebrity baby pictures is the best one.
I say each new baby should get a celebration. If someone wants to do a shower then great. If the celebration just means going to lunch with friends then great. But I think more than 1 shower if just fine. And especially if you are having a baby of a different sex.
i'm totally down for multiple showers. you need to celebrate each baby :) but unlike you mrs. dub, i'm all about the games! :P
I really embarrassed myself on this one recently. A friend had a shower for her third, and I didn't go because I didn't know her super well, and I thought "excessive" was a good excuse to use to get out of it. Now I am pregnant with my second, a boy when I have a girl already, and another friend offered to throw one for me. Yikes. I am so ashamed of my judgmental side. I told her I wouldn't have one, but I was going to do an open house after the baby comes, so I'd love help. Pride is so not delicious to swallow. Good topic. I'm glad to hear more open-minded people on this. Helps me let go of my petty side.
The food would have been a lot easier if you'd have gone with the German flag colors: red, black, gold. Then the golden croissants would have fit right in.
I am still waiting for a truly blue food--as hard to come by as a truly blue flower--purple seems to be the substitute. There are blue crabs, but they're red when you cook them, and blue fish looks white to me, and blue oyters are grey, and blue cheese old seems green, and most blueberries are, well, purple. Guess jello and raspberry (?) slurpees are about it.
Any women willing to have more than one child deserves more than one shower in my book--daily.
I've been reading up on my baby shower etiquette and according to what is "proper" there is no reason to not have showers for babies other then your first when someone offers to throw the shower for you.
And who doesnt appreciate new things for a new baby?
I say every baby should be celebrated and every mom should have a reason to party--whether before or after the baby doesn't matter! I've had showers for all three of mine and they have all been fun. Two were before the baby arrived and the third baby had an open house shower where everyone got to hold and cuddle her!
Identifying celebs sounds like the most fun shower game I've heard of in a long time! And I'm all for being allowed to eat croissants in peace. It sounds like we fundamentally agree. But how about this one; a sister or mother being the primary shower-thrower? Emily Post says no no, it being too self-serving. I can see making an exception to that rule if the mother-to-be is new in the area and hasn't made close enough friends who would offer.
As for frequency, I think one per geographical area is definitely deserved. I had my first one in Phoenix with the old-warders, having moved here when 7-mo preg; then had one with my 2nd baby since it was my 1st girl, and then had another one for my twins... I hesitated at accepting it since I'd had one with the same group of people before, but they convinced me that with twins I'd need more stuff so it was okay. I do think that if you live in the same part of town and have 5 girls you do NOT need a shower for each and every one. Come on already. Unless you request that no gifts are given, or only books, or something.
I'm for celebrating each baby with a party. I didn't have one thrown for my second son, but he was only a year after my first and we were in the same location. A lady in the ward emphasized they only do it if the next baby is a different sex. Good thing I moved before my third son was born; my new ward threw a party. Trust me, if I had any control over the sex of the baby I would have exerted it by now.
Now I'm expecting my fourth son, and I really doubt there will be a shower. Which is fine, although I am a little sick of seeing the same clothes FOUR times in a row.
But, as for other people, I firmly believe in a celebration for each baby. My sister-in-law worried about her new ward throwing a shower for her third (and second girl). I'm so glad there was a shower, since her daughter only lived 7 months. It gave me a chance to give her gifts during her short life. So party on!!!
P.S. I put together a shower game where you matched celebrities with their babies' names. The sad thing? I didn't even need to research it. Too much "People?"
if the baby the woman is having is either her first boy or first girl, even if it's her 3rd child, you must have a baby shower. that is my rule.
Before I had 3 girls, I think I was a little anti multiple showers. I also remember skipping a shower for someone that I thought "didn't need it." What was I thinking? I agree with PDaddy...every woman deserves it! I had two showers with my first daughter (I moved when I was 5 months pregnant, so I had one with old friends and then one here). When daughter #2 came along, I didn't have one. And that was fine. I didn't really need one. When daughter #3 came along and was born in a different season, I was so happy to have a shower. At first I was totally embarrased that I was having a shower when I was having my THIRD girl. But not only did I need the summer baby clothes and some nice new things for my perfect baby girl, but I liked having a little party where I was the guest of honor. That always feels good. Some of us REALLY suffer all 9 months of our pregnancy. A party with good friends, great food, and a few gifts kept me going for that last awful month!
As far as mothers or sisters giving bridal or baby showers, I am TOTALLY against that still. It's the way we were raised. That's a big no-no!
I love the idea of celebrating the birth of a baby. I was against having a shower for my second baby (another boy), but a friend insisted that I have one (thanks Tara M*). I combined it with another second time mom, and while the gifts were nice, and I appreciated and used them, it was more about getting together with friends and celebrating life. As now I am expecting a third (a girl time time) I don't expect a shower, but if friends want to celebrate with me I'm all for it!
I have also moved between each baby so I am with a new set of friends.
I one more thing I don't see what's wrong with a mother or sister hosting a bridal or baby shower. I would not have had a bridal shower if it weren't for my sister, and my MIL threw a baby shower for my first born (no one else offered).
I am a firm believer in my inalienable right to party. I think if people want to come then who cares have one. I also have helped throw showers for my sisters and almost sisters and Im ok with that too.I can see the issue but I just refer back to my mantra "A party's a partay as long as its fun" and I think I have enough to worry about that showers dont seem to make the list.
always up for a good part-ay, as long as there is good food and no games. who cares if it's you 3rd girl...make it an essentials shower (diapers, wipes, bath stuff, etc), or a shower to pamper the mother to be.
no way, jose. i'm only there for the games.
have as many as you like, but i'll only come if i can play some games. the cheesier, the better.
It is absolutely fine to have multiple showers for multiple kids and also multiple showers per kid. I had 5 showers, yes 5 showers for our first baby! In our case though, we had 2 miscarriages and tried for 6 years to have a baby. So for us, it was HUGE DEAL that we were finally pregnant. Our first one was strictly an intimate family shower with more games than I have ever played at a shower. However they were surprisingly fun and the door prizes were awesome...like $25 gift cards to various places. Anyhow, then I had a work shower with all my work friends, a church shower with all my church friends, my husband's colleagues threw us a little shower during their lunch break and finally my mom and sis in law threw me a long distance shower. I live in FL and all my siblings and extended family live out west so they pretty much just got invitations to send me gifts. It was very nice.
I doubt that I will have 5 showers for each baby but having a shower for each baby is not bad.
So, anyhow it was just nice for me to have a few showers in honor of me finally. (after years of going to baby showers and leaving with a broken heart.)
I also recently went to a shower for a woman who was having baby #5. It was small and simple, but really nice to get together and eat and visit.
So, that is that.
My friends here in Boston gave me a shower for my 3rd boy and it was awesome. I think there are always new and better things to have/use for your baby and each baby is exciting. It seems that in the Northeast it's a bit more common, and I think that's fabulous.
I say every baby deserves a celebration. Their arrival is no less miraculous simply because Mom has done this before!
I had three showers with my oldest, my mom gave me a family shower. (Yes, my mom, no one else offered. In defense of my best friend, she had a two month old.)I had a shower at church and they planned a shower for me at work, but I got put on bedrest, so hubby, who worked for the same company brought home armloads of gifts.
I did not have a shower with my second who came along eleven and a half months after my first. A new friend I did not know when I had my first two children gave me a shower with baby #3, my third boy, who was born three years after my second. It was absolutely wonderful and so much fun. After making it through two babies, I had several things that needed to be replaced, and getting together with everyone was wonderful. It's also nice to be the center of attention one more time before the new baby arrives.
My best friend who'd just had her first when I was having my first is giving me a shower for baby number four, who's gender we are not aware of yet. I'm looking forward to it because it's just so fun to get the girls together. I think an essentials shower is a wonderful idea, and if this does turn out by some miracle to be a girl, I'm going to need EVERYTHING! This baby is due to arrive two and a half years after baby number 3. It amazes me how quickly things out there change in just that short amount of time!
I say as long as people are willing to celebrate with you, have a shower. That baby is no less special because they aren't the first or they aren't the first of their gender! No gifts is another option. It's really about getting together.
This is tough...with my first baby I had a ton of showers and got everything (I mean everything, I needed) not knowing if I was having a boy or girl was a perk, because I got all the 'big stuff' well- I had two more boys, and with my fourth- I decided not to find out- and I had a little girl... I was showered with a billion pink presents and such (I love) and she is over a year, and I have pretty much only have had to buy diapers and wipees, so without the fuss of a shower, I got it taken care of... people are wonderful!
You can reuse clothes, but some of them just don't last all that long, especially from about 9 months to 2 years old, when they just get stains on them. And plus, you can't reuse diapers. So I say throw a shower for every baby if you want. I'm always happy to go to a shower no matter how many kids the person has.
Heck, people with more kids need showers the most because their budget is stretched tighter!
I LOVE showers! That's when I get to see all my friends and catch up. Partaaaaaay!
I had two amazing, beautifully-planned and fun baby showers when I was prego w/ Eli. One from my boss (it was quite fancy - she hired a chef to come do a cooking lesson, and then we ate the food on china) and another from friends from church. I think it was all extra special because it took so long to get pregnant and people went all out.
So because I had these amazing showers with my first, I almost feel like it would be overkill to have another whenever I'm prego again someday. If I was having a girl, maybe I would have a smaller-scale shower, but otherwise I think I'd be happy just going out and getting pedicures with my close girlfriends to celebrate.
and btw, we missed you at your baby shower, but still had fun opening your presents and taking pictures with them for you :)
I really don't get what's wrong with sisters/moms throwing showers for people. My sisters (5 girls in 5 years, thanks to a combined family) are my best friends, and why wouldn't I want to be the one to throw them a party? Emily Post goes out the window on that one for me!
Maybe if you're inviting people who would be offended by being invited to a 2nd or 3rd shower you should narrow the list to closer friends/family members, but I'm all about having parties as an excuse to see friends, eat yummy food, visit, etc.
I just had 4 showers for my first baby (different groups of friends/coworkers/family), and though I felt the work shower (it was only a temporary job) was unecessary and a little embarassing, I am very grateful for the generosity displayed by all. Now if the baby would just come so he can use his new stuff!
Ummm... funny that my sisters are the ones saying that sisters shouldn't do showers for their own sisters... because they threw a shower for me with my third baby (first girl). :) I did feel quite uncomfortable with the whole idea, but it was a surprise party... so I got over it fairly quickly. I had just moved, and I really didn't have any friends in my new area yet... and it ended up being a lovely party. So I'm going to agree with my ol' pal GFunk... and say who cares who throws the party... it's all about getting together and having fun.
If someone is willing to throw the shower and someone(s) are willing to come...why not? Bring it on.
I think there is nothing wrong with a shower for each child. I will be attending one this weekend in fact, for baby #4. This will be my neighbors first girl after 3 very busy boys. She deserves every minute of her shower.
One of the perks of living on my block is that we always throw a shower for the expecting mama but instead of everyone bringing gifts they bring a freezer meal. Then while gabbing we make a cute little fleece blankie for baby and snack to our little hearts content.
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