musings and misadventures: The little post that couldn't

2.19.2007

The little post that couldn't

So I wrote this great post.

This isn’t it.

The great post I wrote was after a Friday filled with blog linking, which led me to more and more blogs penned by cute, young mothers with Anthropologie-esque wardrobes and mad sewing skills complete with fantastic photography and unique blog design.

My self esteem, already teetering somewhere between “I’m OK” and “I’m in need of a makeover,” plummeted down to “At least I’m alive.”

So I sat down and passionately whipped up a fabulous post about these women and their refurbished antiques and razor cuts.

I questioned the validity of their posts. I mean, are their lives really that cool or do they just Photoshop them up for blogging purposes? I questioned their ability to juggle motherhood with 1,023 craft projects. (All so cute and made with retro fabrics and papers, of course.) I questioned why it is I’m not one of these women, even when I so badly want to be one. (Do I not have enough money? Am I too fat? Is it because my apricots aren’t organic? Did my invite get lost in the mail?)

But when I went to post it, my diatribe had magically vanished: “Document cannot be located,” to be exact.

Maybe it was a sign. Maybe my musing was too harsh, even though I didn’t mean for it to be rude. Maybe my envy was such a grievous sin that it was a blessing in disguise. Or maybe I accidentally trashed it when cleaning up my desktop.

Whatever the case, you’ll never read it. You’ll never understand my innermost turmoil.

But if you could, you would know this: Blogs are a blessing and a curse.

They are great places for families and friends to stay in touch. They are a great outlet for frustrated and somewhat untalented writers such as me who can only hope to be published by Blogger. And they’re a great spot for meeting new friends. (Hi Jessi! Hi Abbie! Hi Natalie! Hi Christen! Hi Robin! Hi Leisha! Hi CJane! Hi Kristen! Hi Wendysue!)

But they’re also a great place to waste time. They’re a great way to add pressure to our already busy lives. (“What? Design Mom is making hip President Day’s pins? I must head straight to the craft store!”)

And they’re great at lowering our self esteem.

But, then again, it is fun to live vicariously through other people’s posts.

Now, if only I was cool enough to be their real friends. (Mental note: Buy some organic apricots.)

What do you think?

14 comments:

hilari said...: i have to say that i echo your feelings. i read all these blogs only to feel that i am not cool enough to recover chairs, my husband doesn't require a yoga mat, and i am happy to buy all my produce from costco. half the time i feel inspired by these women and sometimes i just feel like a loser. at least we can be non-organic together.; 1:16 PM
Andy said...: I think you are witty, and well-written. And isn't that more important than good crafts any day? You can't stop by a blogger's living room unannounced to see if they have to shovel away the clutter before they can let you in. So keep perspective. And keep writing!; 1:19 PM
Leslie said...: this, my dear, so NOT "untalented writer" friend, is an awesome post. i read an essay once by a woman who quit going to Target in the summertime because seeing all the picnic and beach stuff for sale made her feel like she wasn't having a fun enough summer. blogland is like this for me. i often wonder the same things about people who display their creative craftiness and super-cool lifestyles on their blogs. who ARE these people anyway? do they live in a different dimension where there is no sad news, no blah days, and the fabric at their joann's is way better than at mine?
they don't. maybe they have their priorities mixed up, and their kids don't get lunch until 2 because they're busy making something cute to put on their blog. you never know. sorry for the novel.; 4:42 PM
stephanie said...: amen, sista friend. you are SO right! a little while ago i decided to drastically cut back on the amount of blogs i read. i just don't need to know what some of these super creative people are up to. i was fed up with my feelings of inadequacy (is that a word?). so i stopped. now i just read blogs of my family and friends. and i feel a whole lot better.

if it is any consolation, i think you are one of the most creative people i have ever met. and you have MAD style. so does miss dub.; 5:12 PM
Natalie said...: I hear every word said. I, too, have felt all these feelings and have decided that realm of blogs are a whole world of love-hate. As a result, I don't read blogs that make me feel like I don't have something valid to offer, even if it's only sharring what incredible finds I got at Target on my last trip. I feel a whole lot better each day if I can edit what effects me - I've learned which blogs are downers (for me or in general) and I limit my exposure to them. The loves are best - I love that I get to know people I would not have other wise (YOU!) and that I can receive VALIDATION for the person I am slowly becoming. I love my bloggin' sistas - don't ever stop, y'all, because I love knowing you!; 5:33 PM
P Daddy said...: Real is better than fake; wise is better than clever; witty is better than comic; and conversational prose is better than over-edited pop bloggery. Too much money, too much self-absorption, and too many art-history or crafting classes can't compare with pinching pennies, selflessness, and the artistic beauty of imperfect effort stained with sweat, emotion, and self. You can love or hate Bjork or Beck or Moby, but you won't ever confuse them with Britney or Jessica or Justin. The latter may be far more popular and commercially successful, and look prettier, but they have no where near the talent or lasting impact. As a person and a writer, your genuineness, freshness, and refusal to be a clone is what makes you so great. (Ironic contradiction to years of parental lectures duly noted). Still, I do grieve the lost post.; 5:34 PM
Christen said...: I agree with you completely and have often had the same feelings myself. But, can anyone write like you? With such honesty and SASS? I don't think so!

Oh, and how excited was I to see my name on your blog!? Sweetness.; 6:06 PM
joojierose said...: can i just say that i'm in love with your blog? i think it's one of the most entertaining and creative i read! (you probably didn't even know i read it!) it astounds me that people you admire so much actually feel inadequate in comparison to others - i would never think that you could feel that way! your blog rules, in my opinion.; 8:53 PM
Jenny said...: I think we read some of the same blogs. :) Like the other commentors, I agree with your post. It was nice to read that I'm not the only one having those feelings. :)
(I've been reading your blog for a while, but felt silly posting a comment because I don't know you. This post was too "right on" for me to pass up, though.); 9:22 PM
Anonymous said...: I once heard about a comparison between my mom and her sister-in-law, both of whom were young mothers. The sister-in-law's home was always clean, nothing out of place... and the knees of her dark denim jeans were never faded and worn. My mom's jeans were worn from being down on the floor with the kids, playing, crawling, etc. but the house wasn't always perfect. My point: spending time with precious Miss Dub, & other young Dubs to follow, is more important than anything else right now... there will be plenty of time later in life for the crafty crafties. At least that's what I tell myself when I realize I'm about 6 years behind on scrapbooking! (PS Cute Blog!! I'm pretty sure I'll start my own one of these days...); 9:37 PM
Jessi said...: Right on! And with the wit and wisdom you display you may want to look for a more substancial publisher!; 6:08 AM
Michelle Pyne said...: I am not a young mother. My children are all grown up. I have seven (almost eight) grandchildren. What amazes me is that the sentiments you expressed in your blog were EXACTLY what I felt about 25 years ago. Been there, done that! Although I don't have any magic solutions, I do have some insights. Don't judge a person (especially yourself) by her looks, her pocketbook, her social status or her talents. Judge her by the condition of her heart. Our society only recognizes "the winner", "the champion", "the best" as having any worth. Everyone is of worth. Including you. When that finally sinks in and you believe it, then you will be free to rejoice in other's talents instead of being intimidated by them. And you can go forward and rejoice in your own talent, whatever stage of development it is. It is not easy, but it can be done!; 2:00 PM
Leisha Mareth said...: Okay, I don't even know you, and I love you (this was even before I saw the shout-out..Hi Mrs. Dub!) This post has summed up my emotions about blogging this week. I made peace with my boring life and re-dedicated myself to just blogging for my Mom's enjoyment. And just for the record I don't need razor cuts or retro fabric to keep my interest...just keep on keepin' it real!; 7:36 PM
kristenita said...: AMEN! to all of the above.
I REFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE to scrapbook... don't know how to sew more than a straight line.... think fabric is a ripoff anyway... & my re-upholstering consists of throwing a big blanket (from target) onto the old furniture!
yeah. pretty much taking care of one new baby and trying to make something more interesting than PBJ or cereal for dinner pretty much is all I can handle right now - I'm glad I'm not the only one who wonders how the super-blogger-mommies do it (& why I can't - or won't- be like them)!
:)
p.s. I felt honored to be listed in your post (assuming you were talking about me that is) yay friend!; 8:58 PM