This post is about friends and for a friend.
(A friend who may or may not be reading this. A friend who may or may not be speaking with me ever again, although we aren’t fighting.)
Friendship is an interesting road that we travel in life. Some friendships race right out of the gate and fizzle before the first lap is through. Others start steady and slow and manage to finish the race, even if it took some detours to get there. And others, the best kind, keep a constant upbeat pace. They reach the finish line and start right over again.
Some of the friends I’ve lost touch with surprise me. It’s like I leave to check on dinner and when I return, the friendship has faded away. Addresses have changed and life has moved on, all because I simply forgot to stay connected. Others, admittedly, I’ve let go with some awareness, like people I never really clicked with or felt good around … or those people who you think, “Do I really need to send them a Christmas card this year?” (You know, assuming I sent Christmas cards.)
Friendships change over the year. In elementary school, friendship is a powerful tool. Your status on the playground, your placement within the 4-square box, your seat at the lunch table is all dependent on your friends, whether or not you actually feel a kinship with them. In junior high, friendships become more of a compatibility issue. You pick friends with common interests or music tastes. They are your confidantes – someone to discuss your latest love interest with when your diary runs out of room. Same goes for high school, although there is less fighting, less backstabbing and a lot more soul searching. If you’re lucky, some of your friends will pass through all these phases with you. That is a forever friend. (Like my own Mrs. Jay.)
Then there is college. In college, you stop being so picky. You make friends with people who don’t share your same tastes but share your same heart. You celebrate your differences and forge new, common interests together. You talk about important, life-changing things. Then, you do important, life-changing things. You enjoy the “best” years of your life together and watch as you embark on what turns out to be the “even better” years of your life – marriage, careers and motherhood. (In any order.)
This friend is a friend from college.
Of course, since college friends didn’t grow up in the same place, love the same things or marry at the same pace, there’s bound to be some fallouts. A lost friendship here. A forgotten friend there.
(A friend who may or may not be reading this. A friend who may or may not be speaking with me ever again, although we aren’t fighting.)
Friendship is an interesting road that we travel in life. Some friendships race right out of the gate and fizzle before the first lap is through. Others start steady and slow and manage to finish the race, even if it took some detours to get there. And others, the best kind, keep a constant upbeat pace. They reach the finish line and start right over again.
Some of the friends I’ve lost touch with surprise me. It’s like I leave to check on dinner and when I return, the friendship has faded away. Addresses have changed and life has moved on, all because I simply forgot to stay connected. Others, admittedly, I’ve let go with some awareness, like people I never really clicked with or felt good around … or those people who you think, “Do I really need to send them a Christmas card this year?” (You know, assuming I sent Christmas cards.)
Friendships change over the year. In elementary school, friendship is a powerful tool. Your status on the playground, your placement within the 4-square box, your seat at the lunch table is all dependent on your friends, whether or not you actually feel a kinship with them. In junior high, friendships become more of a compatibility issue. You pick friends with common interests or music tastes. They are your confidantes – someone to discuss your latest love interest with when your diary runs out of room. Same goes for high school, although there is less fighting, less backstabbing and a lot more soul searching. If you’re lucky, some of your friends will pass through all these phases with you. That is a forever friend. (Like my own Mrs. Jay.)
Then there is college. In college, you stop being so picky. You make friends with people who don’t share your same tastes but share your same heart. You celebrate your differences and forge new, common interests together. You talk about important, life-changing things. Then, you do important, life-changing things. You enjoy the “best” years of your life together and watch as you embark on what turns out to be the “even better” years of your life – marriage, careers and motherhood. (In any order.)
This friend is a friend from college.
Of course, since college friends didn’t grow up in the same place, love the same things or marry at the same pace, there’s bound to be some fallouts. A lost friendship here. A forgotten friend there.
But that’s not this friend.
This friend is someone who 50 percent of the time doesn’t understand me. Who 50 percent of the time isn’t watching the same things I do on TV or reading the same books as me or doing the same activities. (Although, if I had her body, I just might.) This friend is some who I don’t always understand, who I don’t always agree with, who I don’t always stay in touch with as much as I'd like to or should.
But she’s my friend, and I’m not going to give her up without a fight. Because unlike the friendships that have fallen by the wayside, this friend is someone I want to take with me to the finish line. Even if we run off course on occasion. Even if we run at different paces to get there. Even if we have to start all over again.
So if you see this friend, will you please let her know that I’ve put on my best running shoes.
And I’d like to see her try to outrun me.
1 comment:
I am crying.
But I SUCK at being a college friend. I feel like I've failed our friendship, or you'all think I've failed our friendship. And I have.
And I just don't or can't ... do it anymore? I don't see you, I don't have that personal connection. I am MUCH better in person. The email and the blogging world I suck at - because half the things I say/do get explained a WHOLE lot better if I were there in person. I don't have the superb writing talent you do.
But for some reason I can't tell if ANY college friends have forgiven me? Which makes me keep on going like you haven't.
With you, though maybe you do understand my heart. We are good at pushing things under the bridge, and moving on and up. (Like sometimes when a person writes an email about the other - and accidentally sends it to that person. Water under the bridge for us. Now I've learned my lesson.)
I love you.
I guess WE are fighters.
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