Sticky hands + cotton balls = thisWhen people spoke of the "Terrible Twos," I always thought of it as a phase. Like, a gradual descent into temper tantrumdom, with a gradual ascent into not-as-adorable, but still cute kidhood.
I was wrong.
The "Terrible Twos" came to our house yesterday like a package arriving in the mail. Just when I was feeling Brangelina in my baby-making desires - "But seven just seems too small!" - I was faced with the most evil, the most defiant Miss Dub I'd ever met - and she's not even two until October.
It began with a battle over wearing a diaper. Not knowing I was about to sink into the depths of motherhood, I took this to be a sign that potty training had arrived. (Not the best timing since I'm leaving for two weeks on Friday. Oops, didn't I tell you already?) I said, "Well, if you don't want to wear a diaper, you can sit on the potty and ..." (I'll spare those without children the cutesy phrases I use to refer to our excrement.)
That was when I got a diaper throw in my face, while Miss Dub shouted, "No potty! No diaper! Naaaaked!"
I'll spare you the nitty-gritty on the rest of the day, but there was a two-hour battle over wearing shorts, a battle over coming inside, a battle over taking a nap, a battle over leaving Target without purchasing a very large doll house, which she physically removed from the shelf herself.
And then, just when I thought she was ready to rest from her loud labors, she preceded to screech when I put her to bed. I did the typical mom debate - Is she hurt/sad/soiled v. Will she become spoiled/dependent/needy? - ultimately siding with my eardrums and the very real possibility that someone would call CPS on me. THREE times I tried to get her back into bed with various bribery techniques, including stuffed animals, books and "candy milk" - vanilla soy milk - all to no avail.
At 10 p.m., she finally fell asleep on Mr. Dub's lap while watching "The Office."
So now I'm thinking five kids might be just right.
What about you?
18 comments:
HEE HEE HEE!!! :)
Cute little Miss Dub!
I still remember Max's first tantrum. It was in San Fran and right around his second birthday. I put the baby gate up so he couldn't follow me into the kitchen. When he walked up and met with the barricade, he flopped down, prostrated himself, and kicked and screamed. The quintessential tantrum. I remember just standing there watching in awe! It's been down hill ever since.
(Just kidding. Sorta.)
Soon after he learned to scale the baby gate and it never even slowed him down after that.
So, Doug's ready to be done at 3 kids. (He probably would have been fine with 2.)
I want 5. (And two of them better be girls!!!!!) I figure the naughty stages are temporary, but kids are forever!
I'm so sorry you had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. In lieu of moving to Australia, why don't you come see me?
Oh yeah, you are.
Sure hope she'll wear a diaper on the plane.
no way... my precious miss dub could not throw a tantrum.
j/k
but you're still thinking 5?! wow. i'm impressed.
ahhh, kids! gotta love 'em! :)
Right now four is sounding good. But number five is in the oven so I guess there is no going back. :)
I understand how that is. Hayden has begun to throw tantrums when I put him in the car seat. He throws his head back and arches his back so I cannot get him buckled.
Even though they can throw these great fits I love him more each day as he has more and more personality of his own.
Good luck with Miss Dub!
BTW I saw a pink house on Monday. If I had my camera I would have taken a picture to send to Miss Dub.
oh heavens, it's fun that we have kids just a few months apart. we've been encountering similar situations and similarly freaky pre-second-birthday self potty training.
but i get over it every time miles comes up with a new word. like "badazine" (magazine), the new word for yesterday. this really is one of the best ages. promise. in other words, three is worse than two. years, i mean, not kids. three kids is pretty awesome. :)
that's where ava is right now. although some days are better than others. and some half days are better than the other halves.
when ava throws public temper tantrums i always start out as completely disinterested, but the more people who cast concerned looks on her, the more fearful i become of being looked upon as neglectful and having some concerned citizen follow me to my car, take down my license plate number and report me to the police.
good luck! stay strong!
and i'm thinking five too.
The Force is strong with this one. And, as we all know, the Force cuts both ways (with or without light sabers). We wouldn't expect anything but the best and most forceful tantrums from such a bright and independent spirit. Humor sometimes helps and you both will (probably) get through it. My mother claimed my terrible twos lasted until I was 16--I had a terrible temper--but it's not much evident as an adult. So, when all else fails, blame it on Papa.
I will say that now that my three children are teenagers I can successfully look back and laugh :) and they're pretty fun (for the most part - they are teenagers).
Isn't it amazing they never tell you that the terrible twos can begin WELL before two and, yes indeed folks three is worse (sorry). Most start to settle down around 4 because low and behold you can finally reason with them a little bit.
Like I said - now I can laugh ;)
Some people say that kids who have strong bouts of terrible twos grow up to be pleasant teenagers... rumor has it that Kate was the most precocious toddler out of the 4 of us, but then later in life she was the child who gave my parents' the least grief!
A.) Diaper on backwards
Failing that...
B.) Diaper on backwards with duct tape.
Like a charm!
I've always heard that the terrible twos begin when your child declares independence from you. Not to scare you, but year 3 at our house was far, far worse.
i almost placed cruz in the garbage can and closed the lid today, and yesterday.
How many kids is good? It changes daily. Er, hourly. I have noticed something extraordinary though...the more you have the more you can do/handle. I didn't think it was true, I thought I had capped my children-enduring threshold at 2. But when we (briefly) had 4 I thought...hmmm, one more won't make that big of a difference?
Also, there is greater distraction for 2 year olds when you have older ones.
My husband says 4 is the limit for us...but if I were Brangelina (i.e. nanny-service, lots of money, outstanding genetics and adoption connections) I would have a dozen. My own little rainbow tribe.
p.s. I think I really like Miss Dub...I like girls with a little 'tude! (that is our shorthand for attitude, it looks weird typed out like that...)
Just wait until the craptastic 3's arrive. I thought it didn't get any worse than the terrible 2's. wrong.wrong.wrong.
She sure is cute though.
I have heard the terrible twos referred to as "the first adolescence". It's definitely not pretty, but I am dreading the second adolescence much more! They must go through it so we don't get complacent or something. Good thing they are so cute!!!
Wow!! I can't believe how much she has grown!! It has been a while. I should have kept better tabs on you guys after El Salvador!! I hope things are well for you!
B. Bigler
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