4.04.2008

Panty pride


Yesterday, Miss Dub and I went shopping for her first pair of panties. I don't like the word panties. I told myself I would never use the term, but somehow I just feel like Miss Dub will end up with a gender identity crisis if I don't get all creepy-feminine when talking about her underthings. She picked a set adorned with images of Elmo and requisite doses of pink. I'm not sure why she is obsessed with "Mo" since she's never really watched Sesame Street, but it appears she came with an inborn knowledge of Big Bird and his gang of furry friends.

You might be wondering why I'm trying to potty train my 17-month-old. Well, for starters she has an unnatural interest in potties and poop, including public declarations of the latter, so I thought she might be ready. Also, I just read a little blurb from the Baby Whisperer which declared that Americans are lazy and potty train their children much later than any other nation, even though it's easier for children to do it before 2. Did I mention she's British? I feel like British folk should be trusted for anything except dental referrals.

So I'm going to give it a half-hearted attempt since whole-hearted is not my cup o' tea. (See, I feel British already.)

But as the panties get rolled across the scanner by our young, male Targeteer, I got a little embarrassed for her. (This from someone who proudly purchases tampons and enemas without any cover-up items.) And wouldn't you know it - Miss Dub didn't even care. She was like, "Check out my sweet chonies! They're awesome!" Though it came out like this:"Look! Mo!" To his credit, the cashier acted mildly interested and didn't even blush.

I'm not sure where this panty pride is headed, but I worry it may be my fault. Would underwear have been a better word choice?

You tell me.



p.s. See Miss Dub in all her fairy glory here. Thanks Glamma!

31 comments:

Sarah S said...

I also really dislike the word panties. I have no idea what word I will use if we ever have a girl, but when I nannied and we had just started potty training Caroline, I used the term "big girl underwear" because I couldn't bring myself to use panties - it seems like such a private word to throw around all day long!

You'll have to keep us posted on how the potty training goes. Or "toilet training" as they like to say in Montessori schools... :)

NG said...

We use "underwear." I hate the word "panties" ever since the whole Monica Lewinsky debacle. Once "panties" is used commonly on the nightly news, I think it's time to retire the word.

We started training my 18 month old (now 4) for the same reason. I thought, "Dang this is too early to worry about such stuff, but she has an interest and it would be stupid of me to ignore that because who knows when that will happen again?"

Long story short; it only lasted few weeks before we put it off because after the initial newness of the paraphernalia wore off, she was all, "Hey, this is too much like work."

The good news though, is that when she was two and ready to do it for real, it was completely painless and only took a little while because everything was familiar. I'm a big advocate of go with the flow because of that.

steph said...

i don't like 'panty' either... on that note, i don't like 'underwear' either... i prefer chonies, but if miss dub prefers panties, then i will gladly talk mo panties with her. anything for my favorite miss dub.

Jen said...

I think undies is a good marriage of panties and underwear, and much more gender neutral. Though, for girls, I don't really mind it much as long is the word isn't overused.

LCM said...

We use the word panties when we are being silly. And even then we drop the t. It's kind of funny. But normally we use the word underwear.

Anonymous said...

I HATE the word panties. Hate it. I don't know why. I have probably only uttered out loud 3 times in my entire life. Why is that? But going bra shopping and having the person at Victoria's Secret say, "Can I help you find some panties to go with that?" almost sends my to the bathroom to vomit.

We say "undies" in our house too. I think it's more feminine than just "underwear."

My youngest daughter is 20 months today. She has been telling me when she poops and goes potty for a few months, so we got out the old potty seat just to see if she was ready. Um yeah, she's not. I think the potty seat is in our play room right now.

And just for the record, I haven't shopped at VS for like 9 years now.

stephanie said...

mabel wears panties. oliver wears underwear. and i definitely agree with the baby whisperer here. americans wait way too long to potty train! there are sunbeams in our primary who are nearly 4 and still in diapers. i think it's shocking.

p.s. i have some handy potty training tips if you are interested.

Alifinale said...

You are brave and I am a bit jealous that she is interested. My already 2 yr old cries if I mention her going on the potty. I am super lazy though and since we are having another baby and I have heard they regress, I am waiting since I don't want to potty train twice.

Good for you! And good luck to Miss Dub. And I think don't mind "panties" as long as it is not paired with "moist"

leigh said...

Luckily I am not in this predicament (the panties one), because I have 4 boys.

I'm pretty sure my mom never called them panties, but I think it was underpants for the girls in the fam, and underwear for the boys in the fam.

I won't even go into my opinion of the difficulties of potty training, mostly because I've never trained a girl, but I hear they learn this faster than boys.

Angy said...

i can't say i like the word panties... but i definitely don't mind it. i dont think i like chonies though. i never did understand that lol

Anonymous said...

Painties sounds creepy but its perfect for a little girls who doesnt understand creepiness-I also enjoy using Skivvies for boys . Kids know when they want to start goin potty on the big kid potty .
Ps Who cares what the British think about us anyway(bangers and mash is an unappetizing name for a dish) - they always think we are lazy and the French think we are rude and loud - arent They the ones who worship at the feet of Jerry Lewis? Dont get me started on the Germans unhealthy facination with (slow running and musicaly inclined) THE HOF...EuRoTrash!

Holly said...

i never thought i'd use the word "potty." but alas, it's used around here very often.

zeeny said...

When I use the word panties my husband asks...what's that, is that underwear. Mind you our daughter has been potty trained for almost three years and he still gets confused by the feminine version of panty!

I was lazy and didn't potty train my daughter until she was three. It took one day, we had one accident (she was standing in front of the potty and couldn't get her pants down) and she has never wet the bed. Go ahead and call me lazy...at least I didn't have to clean up tons of potty messes!! I guess I'll take lazy any day!

NG said...

What about "skivvies"? Too boyish?

Leisha Mareth said...

We just say undies here. Whenever I hear "panties" it reminds me of my brother saying "Brooke Pantie Shields!" everytime a CK commercial came on back in the 80's....

Leisha Mareth said...

P.S. What's wrong with being potty training lazy? Hey, at least I've got good teeth.

sara said...

We call all underwear underwear around here, but for some reason the little girls' bottoms that go over diapers (or underwear) and come with a dress, are called panties. I don't like the word panties either but for some reason it doesn't bother me in that application.

As for when to potty train, obviously every kid is different but in my opinion it's a lot easier to change a diaper than to clean up "accidents" all the time if they're not quite ready, so my kids have all completed their potty training right around their 3rd birthday - in plenty of time for preschool. That said, if the little Miss is ready now, that's great!! You'll save a ton of money on diapers :)

Ashby said...

To me, it doesn't matter. My older daughter started using the word panties, so we did too. Same with her girlie parts - she used a name to refer to it and I wasn't about to go correcting her with the scientific term. That's just not me.

And I applaud you for potty training early! I potty trained my first before she turned two, and it was definitely worth it. And now my younger one (who is Miss Dub's age) is starting to show interest, so we may start it up pretty soon too.

Leslie said...

I've been lurking for ever! I just wanted to pipe in. My mom has been pushing me to start the training now and my daughter is only 14 months! She said she did it with me at bath time and after meals and that by time I was 18 months I was done. I don't know. I AM lazy! Take that Brits!

Skyler said...

I HATE the "p" word. Loathe. Despise. Whatever. It's to overused to be a dirty, but it's too stigmatized to be clean. I wouldn't say it in front of my mom (but I'm a male -- if I'm saying the "p" word, it means I'm discussing them with my mother, which is weird). I have a 4-month-old and I better find a substitute word in the next 20 months or so, or else I'm in trouble.

Anonymous said...

A few facts from a fellow reader/fan and mother of four boys and my dad is a pediatrician. Kids don't really know they are going potty until 18months or have much control over it until then. And reading books on the subject to miss dub like my favorite "Everybody Poops". And some reading for you "Potty training in Less then a Day" is awesome. Good Luck. One thing I have come to realize. Yes you don't have to change diapers anymore but you still get to smell it and look at it until they are better at wiping themselves.

bedelia said...

My son showed a lot of interest at 16-18 months and I was lazy and didn't do it. Totally regret it now because he won't have anything to do with the toilet now.

emily said...

I bought my 18th month old daughter a potty, took it out of the box and she went pee in it. I thought "this will be easy." One year later we were STILL potty training.

I never said the word "panties" or "pannies" growing up (I'm the only girl) but we say that word now that I have 2 daughters. It's ok for kids, but not for adults. I don't call my underwear that!

Nash said...

I have never had a problem with the word "panties" as I only reference it with little girls. I guess as they get alot older we'll use underwear. I find it very strange to have a problem with a 2-4 yr old using that word.

As far as potty training Stephanie has great advice. I am going to use it with my first boy soon. He is 20 months old and no interest, which is fine by me. It is much easier to change a diaper than RUN to the restroom at such inconvenient times.

I thought my oldest daughter was ready at 18 mos. cause she showed interest. We played the video over and over, and read the book that goes with. I made a candy jar that she put stickers all over. FOR NOTHING!! All I did was stress myself out. Six weeks before she turned 3 (and baby#2 came) she potty trained herself, in two weeks went diaper free at night and never had accidents. IT IS NOT WORTH STRESSING OR PUSHING A CHILD TO POTTY TRAIN. (unless they are 4) You definitely encourage, and some kids need a push. I actually read recently that children aren't even aware of their bowels until around 18 months.
MY 2 cents.

Nash said...

I meant some kids might need gentle prodding, especially if they are 4.

Colleen said...

Our term of choice is "underpants." Elijah has Spiderman. And I've heard girls are often easier to train, so good luck!

Anonymous said...

We say panties here, "Put away your panties" just flows out of your mouth. But I do like undies or chonies. And for boys I would say underwear.

Good luck with potty training. Our daughter started sitting on the toilet at 18 months. She would have been potty trained sooner than she was if we didn't move across the country.

P Daddy said...

Gosh, this post came 50+ years too late, I could have been saved all that mortification when I referred to my underwear as panties. Bad enough my mom (as most did in those days) insisted on briefs, not boxers. Tidy whities cuts almost as deeply as panties (depending on how tight the elastic is).

Wonderland Girl said...

Really? Enemas??

Um I get a chuckle out of the word panties and say it as often as possible. Matter of fact, I told my little girls their tights are called pantyhose.
Pantyhose! On a two year-old! Nothing funnier.

Kate said...

P Daddy is SO funny. I loved his comment. I'm still laughing from it.
It must be in my genes... because like my sisters, I strongly dislike the word panties.

Anonymous said...

I love your blog, first of all. Second of all, panties is a yucky word. We called them shanties (named by my 2nd child) until my 3rd little one started calling them undie-hose. I like it, especially since she has a lisp so it comes out "undie-hothe". Whatever happens with the potty training thing, I wish you an un-peed on kitchen table and no urination-in- public-just-out-of-spite experiences. Not that MY 16 month old did that;).