Drunk people are some of my very favorite people.
Not angry drunks.
Not moody drunks.
Really, ridiculously, talking a little too loud, invading your personal space drunks.
And when Mrs. Jay and I were young, we seemed to encounter these type of drunks on a frequent basis. (Don't ask why - we typically avoided high school keggers.) And some of our best drunk encounters happened when we were camping at the beach.
There was a time that a drunk guy came up to my face, and thisclose said to me, "Do you know what ocean that is?"
I said, "Um, the Pacific Ocean."
"But how can you really know it's the Pacific," he said. "Until you strip naked and swim it at night?"
Before I could answer and/or strip naked, he hopped over the fence and jumped off the cliff above the beach.
Wait, that's story isn't so funny now that I think about it, though he did survive as I remember it.
Mostly we just used drunk people as a test audience for our most outrageous lies. Our standard one went something like this:
Us: "Hey, want to see our dance routine?"
Drunk people: (Too loudly) Yes!
(We perform a dance routine with lots of jazz hands and some freestyle tap dancing.)
Drunk people: (Practically screaming) You are sooo good!
Us: Yeah, well we were on Star Search once. Our group was called Synergy. We got 3 and a quarter stars for that routine, but the other group, Dancetastic got 3 and THREE quarter stars. So we went home empty-handed."
Drunk people: (Thinking they're whispering, but they're still shouting). "You were robbed!"
Us: "Yeah, it was painful. We're getting therapy."
What's your best drunk encounter?
And, yes, Synergy is a tribute to Jem. (Coincidentally, we used to dress up like Jem and the Holograms in high school, but that's another story.)
9.13.2007
Showtime, Synergy!
Posted by Mrs. Dub at 10:06 AM
15 comments Leave a witty comment hereLabels: drunks, Jem, lying, memory lane, Mrs. Jay
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15 comments:
oh em jee. this is hilarious! i love jem!
You and Hil are truly outrageous! Truly truly truly outrageous.
Somehow my little sis ended up as one of the Misfits... :)
the only thing i am jealous of is the friendship you have with my sister.
as for drunks i try to pretend to be one as often as possible.
I have no funny story, but a big smile on my face about Jem and the Holograms -- I had completely forgotten about them! What an entertaining, hilarious 80s reference.
I went to a comedy club in London, and there was this really drunk lady heckling the stand-up. She kept on shouting, "CAKE! ... CAAAAKE!! ... TELL A JOKE ABOUT CAKE!!!"
I don't think the stand-up was able to deliver said joke, but to this day anytime someone says cake (which isn't nearly often enough) I always reply, "CAKE! Tell a joke about CAKE!" They think I'm crazy. I think it's funny, and laugh quietly to myself.
I went to a Rodeo that my friend was Barrel Racing in and afterwards there was a dance with a Beer Garden (that still blows my mind).
I was probably 13/14 and a huge chubby, red-faced man, above 30 came and asked me to dance, beer in a clear plastic cup in hand.
He kept saying things, that I can only assume was flirting, like "You seem a little young to be here!" or "Your pretty cute for your age!" (This was all screaming over the music.)
Now that I've typed this out, why was I there?
I just laughed with my friend afterwards about it, as she was in the same situation at the same time, and then we watched all these super drunk people dance around like idiots.
It was pretty hilarious that they thought they could dance with their drinks sloshing around in their hands.
I was in New York a few years ago for Halloween... and there were a few guys dressed as Jem and the Holograms. Needless to say it was a gay club and it was quite hilarious! :P
I worked for 8 years at a restaurant in Utah called LaCaille. You can probably imagine I have quite a few 'drunk' people stories- but one that sticks out in my mind is a time this woman was so drunk, she drove her car through the wine vinyard, plowing down numerous grape vines and into a huge pond! The car sunk to the bottom, completely covered! Somehow she managed to get out unharmed...and seriously walked back into the restaurant-dripping wet and asked for a glass of wine!
I was so wrapped up in Jem memories this morning that I forgot to tell any drunk people stories. By the way, I didn't mean that my sister is a misfit... it's just part of her email address... and I've always associated it with Jem.
Once a drunken friend asked for help wiping her bum after pooping. She was convinced that she wasn't getting it all off. I was there, but luckily I was not one who was asked to help.
both of my favorite drunk encounters were in london while i was on study abroad. one guy yelled incessantly at me from across the street in front of the British Museum that I was either Gwyneth Paltrow or her "spit'in image!" over and over and really loud.
the other guy told me on Oxford Street one evening that he wanted me to be the mother of his children.
uh, no thanks. :)
This wasn't really funny but I was driving a half-sauced boyfriend home from his brother's wedding and we stopped by my house on the way so I could grab some other clothes... I gave him explicit instructions to stay in the car but when my dad "casually" went out front to water some plants, this guy got out of the car & struck up a convo with my dad, who he called by his first name. And I'm sure the convo was less than coherent. My dad didn't speak to me for like 2 days. Not fun!
Rachel, do you have any memorable drunk people encounters to share? Possibly involving someone very very close to you and her crazy hs friends? I'm sorry for the scarring. Otherwise, any night out while Dar was drinking was memorable, he never held his liquor well.
Oh my gosh... you guys were hilarious.
go boo boo...just the tampooning with Rob H. And Dar driving (bad boy driving) and clapping as he approached our house (in the middle of the night, in his jeep wrangler).
For you, Mrs. Dub
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JmYU4CeuZQ0
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