HTT - Sex Ed-ition

(Warning: This post contains references to SEX. For tamer fare - and a review of a phonics DVD - go here.)

It's a Mormon urban legend*: A recently married Mormon gal goes to her doctor worried about infertility. Though she and her husband have been trying to have a baby for some time, they've yet to conceive. The doctor looks over her medical history and, puzzled, suggests an internal exam. When he goes to check "under the hood," the girl asks why he would be looking down there when all the action happens "here." (Pointing to her belly button.)

Yes, my friends, the girl wasn't getting pregnant because she wasn't even having sex, technically.

True or not, we've all heard some horror stories about sex, especially in the LDS world where premarital sex is discouraged - really discouraged. As a result, there are a lot of young brides and grooms who are pretty clueless about the whole thing, which can create issues in many marriages.

I don't want to get too graphic, but I'm not talking about myself here. Our master bedroom is just fine, thank you. But just thinking about Miss Dub growing up in today's society has me already stressing "the talk." And, let me tell you, you can be confident the girl from that legend didn't get a talk from her mom ... or any useful sex education for that matter.

But I recognize the dilemma her mother may have had: How do you teach about the beauty of post-marital sex without encouraging premarital sex? And how do you highlight the sanctity of sex without making it seem secretive or disgusting?

My plan is to be open about the whole thing - real names for body parts, age-appropriate answers to questions and open conversations about sex starting in her tweens. I don't plan to be crude or overly graphic, but I do plan to be honest.

I truly believe that if you avoid talking about sex, you are asking for your kids to find their information elsewhere. I also believe if you treat sex lightly, so will they.

And to really add some heat to an already Hot Topic, I'd really like to understand (seriously) the rationale of parents who won't let their kids attend sex education courses at school. I recognize that much of what's being taught is different than my values, but personally I think it's important for kids to have an opportunity to discuss sex outside the home but still in a structured setting. Because while most of us don't want our children to engage in premarital sex, at least they will be able to consider other reasons to abstain (like STDs and pregnancy) if they turn their back on religious ones. And I'm really not an expert on chlamydia myself.

No matter what I believe parents should be their primary source of sex education. I just think you need to supplement what the school teaches and clarify what you believe with what the school talked about. And, most importantly, you need to stress the beauty of sex with a spouse and the joy of creating a family through it.

But is it really necessary to alienate kids from their classmates and make them that much more curious about sex? Do some parents worry that hearing about birth control options will change their kids' minds about whether or not to have sex?

Thoughts?

And is that legend true?



* More on Mormon urban legends tomorrow!