I’ll be honest, Hot Topic Tuesday may draw the most readers to this here blog, but it draws a mixed response from me.
One, I can’t always think of a hot issue on a weekly basis since my life is largely devoid of controversy. (Though I do try to start fights with strangers on occasion with the sole purpose of generating one.)
Two, I have to think about way too many people and factors when selecting my topic – “Will Jane think I’m talking about her?” “Is this going to embarrass John?”
And three, the hot topics I’m really passionate about – the ones that really get my collar steamy – don’t seem to excite many of you. But, seriously, save the otters!
So today I’m turning down the dial. No euthanasia, no rant on ridiculously early presidential campaigns, no talk of what state has the best produce. Instead, I’m going to relate a Hot-ish Topic to a recent experience.
Saturday night we had some friends over for Mexican food and a light conversation. (We made this chimichurri sauce, this cowboy caviar and this rice, if you care.) Maybe it was the spicy food, but we found ourselves talking late into the night like college kids. We talked about a lot of things – like how awesome Arrested Development is/was and how stupid the majority of Americans must be to let a brilliant show like that get canceled while shows like Singing Bee are racking in the ratings (Hot Topic #1). Or how people have no tact when it comes to asking about your plans for marriage or children (Hot Topic #2). And how some people do nothing but whine and complain about their husbands or children, but then say, “You need to get married,” or, “I can’t wait for you to have kids!” (Hot Topic #3).
I know how I feel on these topics –
#1 – Really stupid.
#2 – It’s none of your business.
#3 – Why would I want to when you make it sound so unappealing?
But it’s Hot Topic #4 I don’t know about. Which is, “Should you or should you not break up a loud, drunken party next door when it’s disrupting your sleep?”
Because after our guests left, we realized there was a crazy kegger/dance party/cornhole competition taking place in our neighbor’s backyard. Which also happens to be our backyard. Which happens to be right next to our window. Which is right next to Miss Dub’s window.
Now, I must say that Miss Dub slept soundly through the whole experience. Her parents, however, did not. But I couldn’t decide what to do. On one hand, I was ticked. The sheer setup and acoustics of our apartments make it so you can hear ANYTHING outside throughout the entire complex. They had to know that. On the other hand, I remembered lots of college parties (albeit alcohol-free ones) that got broken up early – ruining my night and causing me to wonder if everyone in Utah County was a prude. (Hot Topic #5. Answer = 96%.)
So I didn’t want to ruin their fun, but I also wanted to sleep. Finally, when Avril got turned up around 12:30, I went out in my pajamas and kindly asked the partygoers to turn down the music. They were very nice, especially when I gave a quick geography lesson on the location of my baby’s nursery, and turned the music off. But the screaming, laughing, cursing and general debauchery went on at full volume until 3:30 a.m.
At this point you might ask me why I didn’t put in earplugs (Hot Topic #6). Well, my ears don’t like them and give me infections when I do, but good try.
Then, there was a loud thunderstorm, but that’s not important.
What would you have done?
Called the cops?
Complained again?
Said nothing?
I have a fear of being the person who complains about everything. You know, the gal who has to be reseated at every restaurant, who demands impeccable customer service and who asks for the manager and writes letters to companies with the sole intention of getting free stuff?
But I was really, really tired so I thought it was OK to do a little bit of that.
What do you think?
Too bored to care? Spin a bottle and see what topic you get to smooch below!
One, I can’t always think of a hot issue on a weekly basis since my life is largely devoid of controversy. (Though I do try to start fights with strangers on occasion with the sole purpose of generating one.)
Two, I have to think about way too many people and factors when selecting my topic – “Will Jane think I’m talking about her?” “Is this going to embarrass John?”
And three, the hot topics I’m really passionate about – the ones that really get my collar steamy – don’t seem to excite many of you. But, seriously, save the otters!
So today I’m turning down the dial. No euthanasia, no rant on ridiculously early presidential campaigns, no talk of what state has the best produce. Instead, I’m going to relate a Hot-ish Topic to a recent experience.
Saturday night we had some friends over for Mexican food and a light conversation. (We made this chimichurri sauce, this cowboy caviar and this rice, if you care.) Maybe it was the spicy food, but we found ourselves talking late into the night like college kids. We talked about a lot of things – like how awesome Arrested Development is/was and how stupid the majority of Americans must be to let a brilliant show like that get canceled while shows like Singing Bee are racking in the ratings (Hot Topic #1). Or how people have no tact when it comes to asking about your plans for marriage or children (Hot Topic #2). And how some people do nothing but whine and complain about their husbands or children, but then say, “You need to get married,” or, “I can’t wait for you to have kids!” (Hot Topic #3).
I know how I feel on these topics –
#1 – Really stupid.
#2 – It’s none of your business.
#3 – Why would I want to when you make it sound so unappealing?
But it’s Hot Topic #4 I don’t know about. Which is, “Should you or should you not break up a loud, drunken party next door when it’s disrupting your sleep?”
Because after our guests left, we realized there was a crazy kegger/dance party/cornhole competition taking place in our neighbor’s backyard. Which also happens to be our backyard. Which happens to be right next to our window. Which is right next to Miss Dub’s window.
Now, I must say that Miss Dub slept soundly through the whole experience. Her parents, however, did not. But I couldn’t decide what to do. On one hand, I was ticked. The sheer setup and acoustics of our apartments make it so you can hear ANYTHING outside throughout the entire complex. They had to know that. On the other hand, I remembered lots of college parties (albeit alcohol-free ones) that got broken up early – ruining my night and causing me to wonder if everyone in Utah County was a prude. (Hot Topic #5. Answer = 96%.)
So I didn’t want to ruin their fun, but I also wanted to sleep. Finally, when Avril got turned up around 12:30, I went out in my pajamas and kindly asked the partygoers to turn down the music. They were very nice, especially when I gave a quick geography lesson on the location of my baby’s nursery, and turned the music off. But the screaming, laughing, cursing and general debauchery went on at full volume until 3:30 a.m.
At this point you might ask me why I didn’t put in earplugs (Hot Topic #6). Well, my ears don’t like them and give me infections when I do, but good try.
Then, there was a loud thunderstorm, but that’s not important.
What would you have done?
Called the cops?
Complained again?
Said nothing?
I have a fear of being the person who complains about everything. You know, the gal who has to be reseated at every restaurant, who demands impeccable customer service and who asks for the manager and writes letters to companies with the sole intention of getting free stuff?
But I was really, really tired so I thought it was OK to do a little bit of that.
What do you think?
Too bored to care? Spin a bottle and see what topic you get to smooch below!
27 comments:
1. why are you up so early? (I am because we're going out of town and I'm too excited to sleep..... so I am "blogstalking" as my husband calls it.)
2. I can't believe I am the first to comment!!
3. I admire your guts to go ask them to turn it down... I would've complained and made aaron go out & talk to them. then I would have probably made him call the cops since they were still partying loudly...
4. EVERY "party" I went to in p-town was busted up. we learned to keep it INSIDE & QUIET & go really really early before the law showed up!
5. me imagino que la comida mexicana fue muy deliciosa!
6. hot topic #3 had me SOOOOOOOO worried - I was going to a book club that was really a "complain about how much your life sucks now that you are a mom" club. I came home crying every month & stopped reading books. and it didn't help that I was already pregnant & they made me feel like I had really messed up my life! (fortunately I would STILL have nothing to say in one of those BC meetings... I love being a mom most days. and I ESPECIALLY being a wifey! and I don't tell people they should get married/have kids because I was "old" when I did both and I got SO SICK OF THE ADVICE.)
7. that was a long comment! whew.
i am going to TRY to keep this from being too long this time (we'll see). in college i loved the late night dance parties (alcohol-free and plenty o' chips to go around, of course) and we often got busted on a number of levels... police, honor-code ninjas, ricks college deans... what would ricks college and byu have been without that? :) BUT, the point is, we always got busted. so this was my justification when one night i had a very similar experience (albiet, instead of swearing and debauchery it was high-pitched female giggling and loud baby-makin' music pumping from an apartment across the tiny parking lot from our bedroom). i tolerated it for a few hours, despite the fact that the party could have been in my livingroom and it would not have been any louder. but when the clock struck twelve and nothing changed... i picked up the phone. and the provo police came to my rescue. this is the funny part. my husband and i crouched at our window and peeked through our blinds--that is funny, but it gets even funnier--and listened to the cop as he said "k guys, time to turn down the music" and everyone in unison went "awwww!" (i remembered the feeling well... but it was THEIR turn!!) and then the next line was priceless: "stupid married people!" haha. yep. i had reached the level that they were all aspiring to... stupid married person. so anyway, i'm all for letting people have their fun, but when babies are involved (or cranky married women who have to work early the next morning), i say get mr. officer involved. we all had our turn, it's the circle of life... and it's not like the police in chicago have anything better to do, right? :) jk.
a surprisingly similar thing happened to us the other night - how weird! It was about midnight, there were drunk individuals and a hot tub involved and luckily for us, another neighbor made the "could you hold it down, the rest of the world is trying to get some shut-eye" phone call. we still had to listen to the stream of obscenities, but at least we dodged the confrontation. (we are both pretty much weak sauce when it comes to confrontation) when we lived in Texas, we had alcohol-induced yelling nearly every weekend (lovely), but we lived right in the city, so I guess we expected it. luckily, the rantings usually took place as people were coming or going to consume more alcohol, so it didn't last long.
It's called "disturbing the peace"...call the cops. I can tolerate a party or two and try to be patient, but 3:30AM? That's ridiculous. We've had to call the police once or twice (like, for the neighbors who brought their tv's, stereo and children outside and partied until the wee hours of the morning...) The police don't tell them who complained, and they are always really kind and nice about it.
We have neighbors who seem to have REALLY big birthday parties for their kids. We're talking HUGE jumping castles, bands, catered food, rented tables and chairs, etc. I counted over 100 people once (yes, I was peeking over my backyard wall). They are nice people and generally fine as neighbors, but these parties happen 4 times a year. They last until past midnight every time. The last one they had was the WORST and went way late. Let me just sum it up with 2 words: Karaoke Mariachi. I did call the police when the off-key singers kept me awake for hours. It was pure torture.
For some odd reason, I don't mind being that confrontational person, at all! If there's a party going on... or just a neighbor who decides to play his bass guitar throughout the night, I will go say something if it's disturbing my sleep... or my sister's for that matter! Afterall, you don't want to know me in the morning if I didn't get to sleep. Ha!
But if they don't stop when I ask nicely... I can guarantee you that I would call the cops... I think I would almost find pleasure in it lol.
Sorry to sound so mean... but the loud people make it soooo easy :P
Apparently I should proof read. Shoot. I meant to say: Mariachi Karaoke. That would be the right order.
I've slept through many parties, remembering my college days. But now with kids in tow I make my husband go out and talk to them, and then if they don't quiet down WE CALL THE POLICE!!!! We're totally the square narcs that college kids hate, but oh well. :)
I thought really LONG and hard about posting this, but have decided to do it. I have lived in apartments for the last 13 years of my life, so I can totally sympathize with the problems created by loud and boisterous neighbors. About a year ago, my neighbor had a meth addict girlfriend (no exaggeration--her skin said it all), which he dealt with by drinking himself into a stupor. Their drunken/drugged late-night shouting matches required a complete rearrangement of my bedroom furniture and a bucket of earplugs.
That said, I can't help but notice that many of you who call the cops are the same people who encouraged Mrs. Dub to let Miss Dub "cry it out" a few weeks ago. I have to admit that my first thought during that whole post was "ahh-the poor neighbors!!," as I have been kept awake by someone's screaming baby on more than one occasion. And I never know if this is just a "cry it out" episode, or if the child has been abandoned or something. Do you call the cops then?
I have been kept awake more often by screaming babies and barking dogs than partying neighbors. I guess I was lucky not have the latter, but the former was pretty rotten. I didn't do anything, just complained to my husband.
I guess if it got out of control I would probably call the police, but their are times I wanted to call the police on the little boy screaming next door (and we had to keep our windows open or swamp cooler breeze would not reach the bedroom. Same for his parents.
A very interesting point, Gin. In my first apartment, post-marriage, there was a crying (screaming) baby directly upstairs who I was almost sure was abused, and more than once I considered picking up the phone to make sure everything was okay up there. At the same time, the same upstairs neighbors would pound on their floor (our ceiling) quite vigorously every time we had music or a movie turned up too loud for their tastes, even though it was never late at night. Once they even broke a light of ours with their pounding (at which time our husbands exchanged semi-cordial words and they replaced our lightbulb. This was Provo, after all).
That said, as a mother I am definitely a cry-it-out supporter... but luckily most "crying-it-out" babies can do it in just a few nights, which I think is a small price to pay for the neighbors given the countless nights of quiet that will follow. If the crying lasts much longer than a few nights, perhaps a friendly conversation to the wall-sharers would be appropriate?
Thanks for reminding us that it goes both ways, and that baby screams aren't usually music to our neighbors' ears. I do hope that none of the sometimes-easily-offended commenters get all hot & bothered over this one!
My response is going to be different than most people's but I adamantly say leave it. Life is TOO short.
If it's a regular occurrence, say nightly or weekly, then you start cracking down. but if it's once, twice a year, maybe even once a month, let them have fun.
This isn't a real problem. Breast cancer, rape, uncalled for violence, otters, those are REAL problems.
Sure, it may have been annoying, but alcohol or not, they were just having a good time. Life is stressful. People need to party. People need to laugh. Some do it with alcohol, some do it without.
I know most people will disagree with me, but I'm sticking to this.
Oh yeah, I have no tolerance for barking dogs. We called the cops on a pair behind our house a few months ago, and by "we" I mean my husband, and the barking HAS gotten better since then. Now if only we could find a way for these dog owners to clean up after their pooches so that the offending odor didn't waft into our backyard at the slightest hint of a breeze...
Just to make sure my post is clear... I may be ok with being confrontational but I won't ask someone to be quiet the first time they're too noisy. I really make sure they've pushed the limit numerous times before saying anything. The guy next door with the guitar, I'm not too sure how long it went on but my sister complained for a while and it did happen pretty much daily, causing her not to be able to sleep. So in that situation I would say something. I'm really not as horrible I may sound =/
On the baby note, I do think loud partying and babies crying are two completely different things. But in that case if the crying was going on for weeks/months or any extended time I think I would talk to parents first. Afterall, babies are just babies. And a calling to the cops could potentially happen depending on the situation, of course.
I feel like a late arrival today.
A few thoughts...
I do drink occasionally. And, even when you are drunk, you can be polite. Not only that, but you don't live in a college dorm (or even near a college). If you choose to live in a massive apartment complex, you need to be responsible for those around you. Especially if they ask you politely (as I am sure the Dub's did) to keep it down. Bottom line - by 1:30 I would have called the cops. Why? Because THEY ARE BRAKING THE LAW!!! That's why you are allowed to call the cops.
One additional (quick) comment on the comparison between babies and parties. Partiers are in control of their actions - they are (hopefully) adults. Babies (and, quite often, their parents) are not. Also, I have yet to read a post about Miss Dub crying straight through to 3:30. For the record, yes, that would cause me to call the cops, too.
On a personal note... we also had a screaming match in front of our house on Saturday night. Once the threats started, we called the cops (and peaked out of the window with the lights off).
hmmm, this is a hard one. i think it does depend on the frequency of the noise. is it an all the time problem or a once in a while thing? i am all for a party although i enjoy some zzz's as well. we had a neighbor in hawaii that caused us some headaches. every morning at 6am sharp we would hear this boom, clap - boom, clap. this would go on for like an hour every morning. finally we looked over to see him crushing cans. the boom was the crushing machine while the clap was when he threw the cans in a pile.
also, once we heard a mom yelling at her kids and she was really freaking out - when we finally heard, "i'm gonna get a knife!" we called the police.
i'm with cichelli and not just because i felt like being unpopular today (not that cichelli is unpopular, but her response today is)!
every once in a while, it's fine... people are loud every once in a while--like my random days of doing tae bo while living on the 2nd floor (sorry neighbors). and other times, people entertain (with or without libations). as long it's not too often, i can take it...
like my bestest sista said, though, when it's someone playing bass guitar EVERY single night, something's gotta be said (although, i'm too non-confrontational to do it).
as far as the baby thing goes, if it lasts for more than a few nights, i would recommend the parents approaching neighbors explaining the "crying it out" philosophy... non-parents, like me, have never heard that approach, but once explained, we will be totally supportive (as long as it doesn't continue every night for weeks b/c at that point, i don't think that it's a "crying it out" type situation).
sorry for the long post and sorry if you lived below me during my tae bo days!
Here's the thing. You already went over. So if the cops came next, the neighbors would know immediately who the narcs were. And then you're stuck with inconsiderate neighbors who now hate you.
This happened to a friend of mine. She called the cops about a party and lived for the next year with neighbors who regularly egged her house and car, dumped poop on her lawn, etc. They moved because of it.
I say, stick it out one night. If it happens again really soon, then call the cops and hope the neighbors don't know it was you!
A few thoughts, if you live in apartment complex you can always call the management, they usually have on-call staff. We lived somewhere where we would have to call regularly. One of my daughter's first full sentences were Mama, neighbor's be noisy.
The screaming baby? Oh my gosh, I had one of those colicky kids who screamed from 7-10pm, we were even having her cry it out, there was just no way to make her happy. One unfortunate college girl came over to tell us that our baby had been crying a lot, I wanted to ask her if she wanted a baby. You're right, babies can't really help themselves but guys 'studying' loudly into the night can help themselves.
such insights!
i like your point, gin. i thought it myself as i debated whether to go over and ask them to quiet down. "Do they get annoyed when we're up at 6 or 7 a.m.?" "Did they hear Miss Dub's hour-long tirade when she cried it out?"
i think i'll probably let it slide unless it becomes a frequent event. in which case, i would report it to the management and let them deal with it. (or just hope my request will keep them from super-loud partying in the future.)
the crazy part is you know the entire apartment complex was having the same debate because our backyard's acoustics are amazing, yet no one called the police. even though most people have small children.
then again, maybe they were all invited. in which case, why weren't we? (hot topic #7.)
For lack of time, I'll be quick...
My aunt who had 7 children and a dedicated husband used to jokingly tell my mom "don't get married, don't have kids"... in jest of course, but we laugh about it when things are gettin' hot around the collar... if ya know what I mean...
oh, and i totally forgot! for those moms who are miserable about being moms -- do everything you can as to not let your kids know.
it has not been fun my whole life hearing, "if i could do life over, i wouldn't have kids," or "i love you NOW, but it was hard." and my sister and i were GOOD kids -- never in trouble, good grades...
not saying that we have been hurt by it b/c we turned out quite balanced considering, but still it's just not very nice -- having kids was a choice you made (whether purposely or not), not by the kids!
We had a similar dilemma several months ago....the guys renting the townhouse directly across from ours would party - not frequently, but enough to be a pain. My husband would go ask them to take it inside (HUGE for him! - he's very non confrontational!). We never called the police. However, after the 3rd incident of asking them to "take it inside" we resolved that the next time, we wouldn't ask again, we'd call the police.
Fast forward to the next week....we get home from church and there is a police car and a white van in the driveway to the complex. We talk to the officer for a minute to see what was going on. The guys in the apartment had been assembling pipe bombs (mechanical engineer students) and one had exploded in the backyard of the townhouse and had left a huge hole. One of the neighbors had called the police (we heard the bang - but thought it was a gun shot...we didn't live in the safest part of town...) Turns out, the college guys were underage (no wonder they they always complied when we asked them to take it inside), and now were going to have a problem because the bomb squad was at their house!
Hindsight....we should have called the police earlier. There was a whole lot of no good going on that we had no idea was happening...
i hate hot topic #3. those peeps be trippn'.
-devz
Yikes, I guess I am one of the "stupid majority" of Americans. I confess - I love Singng Bee.
The Singing Bee really is a fun show. If you haven't watched it, you totally should. I'm with the other Pam!
If they aren't respectful enough to give you a heads up about their bash then you don't owe them the decency of not complaining.
While in Provo we were always notified by our neighbor when they were having a party. And if people were just being plain loud and annoying at 2 in the morning I sent Matt out to tell them to keep it down. He did it so that they wouldn't be left with a hatred for me and my choice of unnice words!
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