"Is he a girl?"

Miss Dub is a girl.

And while babies do have an asexual appearance, I don’t think it requires an unveiling of her diaper to determine her gender. Even when she wears blue.

When people ask me this question – about twelve times daily, but who’s counting? – I want to respond with my own questions.

Like, “Do you think her head-to-toe pink ensemble might be a clue?”

Or, “Do you think I would wrap my son’s head with a fat bow?”

Or, “How many freaking times do I have to use a feminine pronoun for you to stop referring to my dearest ‘she’ as a ‘he’?”

It’s not that I haven’t been in the same situation myself as most babies, especially newborns, bear no feminine or masculine qualities to announce their respective chromosome combinations.

And if the baby is sporting a unisex outfit, it’s that much harder. (And don’t even get me started about boys wearing dresses – I’m all for equality, but you’re really making these kinds of questions harder for the rest of us.)

I just make sure to listen, observe and then ask carefully before making gender assumptions. Or trick the mom into revealing it without expressing my ambiguity.

Maybe it’s my bad because I’m not into frilly duds that scream “girl!” to the innocent bystander. And I don’t really do bows that often because:
a. I can’t find cute ones
b. Mr. Dub hates them
c. Miss Dub hates them
d. They make her head all a’sweaty
e. All of the above

(The correct answer is E.)

But despite all my ranting, I really don’t mind giving someone a quick clarification on Miss Dub’s gender when asked. What’s really annoying is when someone defends themselves for calling her a boy.

Like, “Well, why is she wearing red pants?” (Um, I don’t know because I didn’t get the memo that said red is exclusive to boys. Not to mention I paired it with a frilly white sweater.)

Or, “Then why did you give her a boy’s name?” (Um, it’s not. You’re thinking of Aidan.)

Or, “Well she looks like a boy!” (Um, excuse me, I’m about to go Jackie Chan on you!)

So I just wanted you all to know she’s a girl as I’m clearly a little sensitive about the question.

But not as sensitive as I was about some other questions, like:

“Are you due any day now?” … when I was only 5 months along.

Or, “Did you really want a boy?” … when I told people I was expecting a girl.

Or, “Are you planning to breastfeed?” … when I was pregnant. (Because although I do breastfeed, I still find that question a bit too personal for chatting with strangers over Costco’s salmon selection.)

What are the most annoying questions people ask you, mothers or not?

And if you are a mom … don’t you wish you could have just handed them this ?