There are a lot of people who probably shouldn’t read today’s Hot Topic.
My father is one. My brother is another, as well as any and all ecclesiastical leaders. Same goes for the remaining three male readers, as well as any female ones who are more reserved than I am. (And let’s face it; most bread boxes have more discretion than I do.)
Oh, and anyone who hasn’t ever wanted to visualize me naked.
So I invited all of the above to link here today instead, where my sister-in-law has her own heated issue to resolve. And while it mentions pee and poop in the first paragraph, it goes on to such honorable topics as honesty, integrity and minivans.
Nowhere does it mention boobs.
This Hot Topic, however, does.
Because there is a long list of things that I never understood until I became a mother. Like how all my pregnant friends would complain about being fat when I thought they should be marveling at the miracle of their burgeoning body. Then I got pregnant and didn’t feel beautiful or natural – I felt like a tub of lard all day. (You don’t think it had anything to do with the tub of lard I was consuming daily, do you?)
So I wasn’t very sympathetic when my friends used to complain that a post-baby body is nothing like a pre-baby physique. I figured the extra rolls had more to do with busy lives filled with fast food runs and playgroups in lieu of macrobiotic diets and workouts.
Then, I had Miss Dub. And I lost all 50 pounds I gained plus 40 more. Yet, I swear my muffin top has never been so bounteous thanks to the large basketball I carried under my skin for so many months. And while I could do 689 crunches a day I keep forgetting and/or sitting on my lazy hind instead. So my saggy stretch marks just hang there.
And then there’s my chest.
I’d been warned. I’d heard my nursing friends complain that breastfeeding destroyed their cleavage, but I didn’t really listen. They’re paranoid, I reasoned; they’re just getting older. But this time they weren’t exaggerating at all. It is a true phenomenon, and it’s truly disturbing.
To maintain some decency, let me explain it to you using an agricultural equation:
Pumpkins + Nursing = Eggplants
(This is the part where you may or may not choose to visualize me naked. I encourage the latter.)
And I hear it gets worse once you wean your babies, which has me contemplating pumping well into my 60s.
The whole point of this sordid tale is that I finally understand breast augmentation. I mean, I already understood it for those rare people who are genetically given the teeniest cup size. But I didn’t get why so many nice, normal, church-going women wanted to get a little work done in that region. Were they vain? Were they depressed? Were they crazy? Had they never heard of a Wonder bra?
But now I think I might give surgery a second thought in a few years.
So I wasn’t very sympathetic when my friends used to complain that a post-baby body is nothing like a pre-baby physique. I figured the extra rolls had more to do with busy lives filled with fast food runs and playgroups in lieu of macrobiotic diets and workouts.
Then, I had Miss Dub. And I lost all 50 pounds I gained plus 40 more. Yet, I swear my muffin top has never been so bounteous thanks to the large basketball I carried under my skin for so many months. And while I could do 689 crunches a day I keep forgetting and/or sitting on my lazy hind instead. So my saggy stretch marks just hang there.
And then there’s my chest.
I’d been warned. I’d heard my nursing friends complain that breastfeeding destroyed their cleavage, but I didn’t really listen. They’re paranoid, I reasoned; they’re just getting older. But this time they weren’t exaggerating at all. It is a true phenomenon, and it’s truly disturbing.
To maintain some decency, let me explain it to you using an agricultural equation:
Pumpkins + Nursing = Eggplants
(This is the part where you may or may not choose to visualize me naked. I encourage the latter.)
And I hear it gets worse once you wean your babies, which has me contemplating pumping well into my 60s.
The whole point of this sordid tale is that I finally understand breast augmentation. I mean, I already understood it for those rare people who are genetically given the teeniest cup size. But I didn’t get why so many nice, normal, church-going women wanted to get a little work done in that region. Were they vain? Were they depressed? Were they crazy? Had they never heard of a Wonder bra?
But now I think I might give surgery a second thought in a few years.
(Then again, I’d rather spend the money on clothes, and I’m not great with anesthesia, but I’ll certainly complain about the deterioration of my décolletage until I die. Of course, I just enjoy complaining.)
This whole issue has me rethinking plastic surgery in general. Before, I just couldn't understand it except for reconstruction purposes.
But a tummy tuck isn’t sounding half-bad these days. Same goes for whatever you call it when they snip and sew the excess skin on your legs and arms after losing a lot of weight. And after years of sun worship, I’m pretty sure Oil of Olay isn’t going to help me as much as a face lift would.
I’m still anti-Botox, which isn’t even plastic surgery so much as a syringe Tupperware party. And I do not get any plastic surgery intended to make you look better when you already look fabulous. In that case, you should really work on your self esteem before you get more work done.
As I mentioned, I’m probably too cheap and too chicken to ever go through with any of these procedures. But some of you out there may have more guts, which could equal more cleavage for you. And I’ll be jealous because I've got a problem with envy.
But what do you think?
Have you ever considered plastic surgery … or actually had it? (This is where the anonymous sign-in might come in handy.)
Is it wrong?
Is it is sooo right?
And is the boob thing true or what?
36 comments:
the boob thing is true, i'm afraid to say, and it does get worse after weaning, and it does get worse after each child. so there. but it's totally worth it, IMO. nursing 3 kids has brought me tremendous fulfillment and joy, even though i'm now almost a size AA. i've never considered a boob job, mostly because, as my husband says, "would you rather have people thinking, 'that poor girl, her boobs are all saggy because she had 4 beautiful children,' or 'whoa, look at her majorly fake boobs!'" because we all know, they never ever look THAT real or THAT good. i'd take pity over uninvited ogling any day.
now a tummy tuck, i'd do. maybe. my neighbor almost just died having hers. but my mom had one, and has had a couple of other minor procedures done since then, and you know what? she looks fabulous, and i can tell she feels incredible.
so i say, if you think it will make you feel better, and you're willing to take the risk, i'm all for it. any woman who gives birth to and rears even one child deserves whatever she wants. all those years of sacrifice have got to be good for something (i mean, besides the pure eternal joy brought upon us by simply being able to have children.)
Thank you so much for the blog referral. I hope every single one of your readers comments! But while I wait for the genius advice to come flooding in, I think I'll hang out here.
I've been saying (since about the age 16) that I would get a boob job when I "grew up". I knew the girls in my family were late bloomers, but when I was still waiting for the magical event to occur at age 20, I pretty much gave up hope.
I know, I know...I shouldn't base my self esteem on a worldly image of womanhood...but it just doesn't seem fair that any woman should have to walk around with the body of a 12 year old boy. Then I nursed babies and the problem got even worse. We're talking 11 year old boy. This is a problem that can't be solved even by Victoria's Secret Boobs in a Box. (Been there, done that.)
So did I get a boob job? I'll let you figure it out.
I didn't have much to begin with, so I honestly haven't noticed THAT much of a difference between my pre- and post-nursing boobs. My tummy, on the other hand, went from a pretty respectable six-pack to a squishy thing I barely recognize anymore. I don't think I could do surgery. I have nothing against anyone else who does it (within reason), it's just not for me.
I need/wanted plastic surgery before and after the kids came into the picture.
Will I actually follow through???
Like you, I am a total chicken. I don't know if I can go under the knife. I told my mom I wanted the "job" and she told me to buy a new bra. So, not much support there. (no pun intended)
I really only want the "job" when swimsuit season comes around and when I wear a sports bra (because my tatas completely disappear).I am fine wearing a super duper padded bra...but it is so sad to look in the mirror at my microscopic chest. I do worry about looking big and fake if I do it. I hear you should get them done before your last baby because they will look more natural. I am a big question mark right now.
Sidenote: I think my hubbie has a special bank account for them. Such a man, I know.
well, mrs. dub, you look fabulous. seriously, even super fabulous! fan-freakin'-tastic. gorgeous.
and i'm totally with anonymous: they never look real. seriously, the few who get the almost-real look are the lucky ones...
i just don't understand why someone would choose to go under the knife--it's bad for your health... in that you could die. not so much a risk that i'm willing to take. even though i must admit that if there were a magic anti-muffin-top pill, i'd be the first to purchase it (have i mentioned that i'm totally against weird drugs too? the magic pill would totally have fewer side effects than surgery, right?).
amd trust me, sometimes i wish that i could just cut my inner thighs and saddle bags right off... but alas, i'm stuck with them b/c that would hurt.
I heard the rumors too but never completely understood until I had a baby. About the boobs, my husbands says, "Boy those are really moving south" and they are. I will totally get a lift after I am done baby making. I'm not looking for Pamela boobs, just a little boost. And I won't feel a bit guilty.
last thought:
like bobby brown once said, "it's my prerogative."
to each his own. for me, no knives digging into my flesh!
i am all for tummy tucks. since i have c-sections, i don't think having a tummy tuck would be that much more terrible. of course i would do all i could to get my pre-baby body back, but if it's just not working, then i would definitely consider a tummy tuck. a boob job? i don't know about that one.
Self esteem has never been a problem for me, lets be real, I am me. But I have no problem with plastic surgery if it will truly help you feel better about yourself. I find no vanity in it up to the extent of making yourself look like a Barbie or Peter Pan. I even tried convincing my husband to go to medical school to be a plastic surgeon instead of a dentist. But at least my teeth will always be bright. And all of us who have sacrificed our bodies for our children through labor or selflessness (who has the time to dedicate time to exercise)deserve to have whatever we want!
i have no idea how i will feel when my body completely falls apart after child-bearing, so i have no opinion on the matter as of now, except to say i'm not completely opposed to the idea, but i hope it doesn't come to that. HOWEVER, i had the unique experience one weekend to help my husband's grandmother who was severely ill for a number of months. she has had a masectomy, numerous forms of cancer and frankly she's just getting old, but she's an incredibly vivacious and hilarious woman when she's well. one evening, my sister-in-law and i helped her shower; we were very careful to try and help her be as dignified as she could considering the circumstances, and i couldn't help but feel a sense of admiration for the way she seemed to carry her well-worn and aging body with pride. we are a very different generation nowadays, but i have to say that if i can somehow find a way to be like her at 85, i'll take it.
p.s. i think you look MARVELOUS mrs. dub! :)
had plastic surgery on the boobs--technically called "reduction mammoplasty." BEST thing i ever did. made me more confident in my appearance, but it is not a fix-all. people who have issues with their bodies will still have issues with it even after they come out from under the knife. a lot of it is your mental image of yourself. but, i am all about a nice boob job. :)
...and i'm pretty sure mine look pretty real.
I have contemplated getting a "job" since I was 20. Because I am one of those girls that was not blessed with much of anything in that area. I loved being pregnant because I FINALLY had boobs. But now after 3 kids, I look like an 11 year old boy, too.
I go back and forth on this issue. I would love to actually need a bra for support rather than to help me look like a woman. But I am too afraid that I will hate what I look like after surgery.
Now, Botox, on the other hand, is worth every penny, in my opinion. I was born with a furrowed brow, so it keeps the deep wrinkles at bay, and keeps me from looking like a grumpy girl.
3 of my friends have "jobs" and they look real and fabulous! I know, because I have seen them.
First of all... I am one that has been blessed or cursed with a big chest..(whichever way you look at it) and after four children- they haven't changed much... yes a little droopier- but the size fluctuates between huge (when I am pregnant) to gynormous (when I am nursing) back to big..(my regular status)I like to run- and each time I run (which I can't do when I am nursing for fear of pulling a muscle in my chest...seriously..it hurts like h***) I curse my chest and wonder why anyone would pay in the thousands for two lumps of fat. But then again.. I don't understand. On the other hand I have extra in areas that it would be nice to have it shaved off (if you will) and I have some wrinkles that I sometimes wish would disappear... but my question is... when does it end? It seems like the people who choose to do plastic surgery- start with the boob job, move on to liposuction, then to botox- and then a face lift...etc..etc...etc.. but when does it end... and does it truly make you 'happy' and help with your self-esteem. I know I am being the devils advocate (and very judgemental- might I add) but I have been thinking about these things for awhile... and now that I have a daughter of my own- what if one day she comes to me and wonders why she has a flat chest and everyone has 'boobs' fake or real.. I think our society is so distorted on reality and what is attractive , unattractive..etc... can we just stop the craziness... and live with what we have and make the best of it?
what's wrong with fixing something that looks crazy? if i was in a fire and my face looked all freaky no one would say anything about that....same difference.
This is a great topic, I am surprised it is not more heated! I too am cursed with naturally mega boobs and only since having my 3rd child do I sense that the sagging is starting, but I am still nursing so they are quite unattractively huge right now. I have c-sections as well and I hope that on my last child, probably #4 I will be able to get a "scar revision" which is Dr. tech supposedly for a tummy tuck at that time. I totally respect and listen to the brethren, specifically Pres. Monson and the issue should stop there, but I do tend to notice and admire ladies with good face lifts and hope that may be in my cards someday. I don't get the boob job thing AT ALL because all I've ever wanted is a reduction (for running, oogling, and other annoyances), but certainly to each his own and I fully support the flatter/droopy sisters that insist on boob jobs, but I do like the suggestion to get a new bra (or at least try it!).
i'd have included this before, but i couldn't find it 'til just now... and i don't want this to come across as self-righteous, 'cause like i said i don't have an opinion one way or the other... but i think this talk by elder holland is so beautiful and so inspiring as far as the topic of self worth is concerned: http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-559-9,00.html
enjoy!
This is a hard one. The pressure to look sexy is OVERWHELMING. Now it's not enough to be beautiful, you have to be "hot" as well, and by most people's standards hotness is directly correlated with ample cleavage. I try to be sensitive to the ladies out there who feel like they are "built like boys". I really can't judge them for being tempted to enhance what God gave them. But it just feels wrong to invest so much emotional energy (not to mention MONEY) on something that is so superficial. I look in the mirror and see only a glimmer of what I used to be, but I figure there is a "time and a purpose to every season" and the season for me to look 20 has passed. Would I feel a little more confident if I had my old body back? Maybe. But I would also be more self-centered, emotionally immature, and shallow. (I'm not saying YOU would have those attributes, but I would.) My hero is Sister Hinckley. Did she meet any of the world's standards of appearance or fashion? No. She was short, a little chubby, and very old-fashioned. But she was BEATIFUL. She radiated love, kindness, and warmth and just listening to her speak made you feel better about yourself. To me, that is what being "attractive" should be about.
I have four kids. I would never have plastic surgery --- it just goes against my grain. But, I can understand why a post-childbearing person would want it.
For the abdominal area, Mrs. Dub, I would give yourself more time. I'm sure this is different for everyone, but I think if you are fit and healthy, you can get a lot of the tone back there over TIME (as in, at least a year). I'm not saying my abs look like they did when I was 16, but I'm not embarrassed by them either. I'm not the bikini type, but if I had to, I could get into that kind of shape.
As for the breasts, they get a little saggier each time. I was once overly large, in my opinion, for my body type, so I actually like being smaller. I don't look like a young boy, because I'm pretty sure 12 year-old boys don't sag. I have enough to wear a b-cup, and am completely fine with that. I do need a decent bra to avoid looking like a grandma. I've been told a lift doesn't fix this problem, and that an implant is the only way. And I know a few women who have done just that, and you would never know it, including one who was my RS Pres, and did not fit any stereotype of one who had had work done.
I plan on having a boob job and tummy tuck once I am done having kids. I lucked into my boobs staying where they were pre-pregnancy after my first (I have not had anymore kids yet) and I am still a C. However I am a firm believer in wearing a bra 24/7 from the moment you find out you are pregnant to when you stop breast feeding (I wore a sports bra to bed).
I had a c-section so I figure if I am brave enough to let them cut me open when I am awake I can definitely do it when they put me under.
And I don't want something that looks fake just something that does touch my belly button. :)
Also, when I was nursing I was a 34D (normally a 34B) and it really didn't affect how I felt about myself. I guess it IS tough to feel sexy when you've got a baby plastered to your chest 24/7 though...
I am lucky. I have always been a size zero, except when I gained massive amounts of weight during both pregnancies, but then bounced back to a size zero. I work out. A lot. I am addicted to the gym and have a personal trainer (I sacrifice sleep for it though and go at 5 am everyday). My legs, butt and tummy are toned.
But after nursing two babies I went from an A cup to a NOTHING cup. I don't have boobs. And no amount of chest presses will help the situation. I have nipples on a flat chest, very similar to a 10 year old girl. Or 14 year old boy. I don't look like a woman.
I will have a boob job. I won't do it to get attention. I won't do it to get a man. I won't do it to look "sexy" and they won't be big. I just want a figure. I want to be able to wear a bathing suit and look like a woman, or even be able to hold up a towel after getting out of the shower.
I have a savings account right now and slowly add pennies to it every day. I will have boobs. They won't be big, I wouldn't go porn star, but I do want to look like a woman. I don't think I'll get "uninvited ogling." What I hope is that people won't mistake me for a 12 year old at the pool anymore.
I love looking like a twelve year old boy! O.K. I look like a middle aged man who need a size 36AA manzier. (Did you know they don't even make a 36AA?) I love having a bra that stands up in the closet on it's own. I love my muffin top that is hanging over my size 8 pants. I love my gentically yellowish teeth that underwent extensive orthodonture. Those teeth that I keep trying to wear the bleaching trays over and getting canker sores. I love my blonde hair that needs highlights at least once a year to hold any body at all. I love my myopic eyes that without contacs or glasses I'm almost as sighted as a mole. I love my albino eyelashes that need mascara, my blotchy skin that needs foundation, my lips that need lip liner. Hmmm... I love trying to make my body look the best it can. Which of these things are good and which are bad? Once a fellow told my Dentist Dad that if Heavenly Father wanted our teeth straight he would have made them that way. Brilliant. (This guy was a chiropractor that made his living adjusting people's spinal columns, etc.) I am glad we have a God who loves each of us and allows us to make our own choices. I hope I can make mine based on a good heart and pure intentions. I would love the dang breast enhancement, the white teeth and the tummy tuck, the lasik and the personality transplant. I'm still examining my intentions... but hopefully by the time the bank account catches up with my intentions I'll have it all worked out.
sheba, you're brilliant!
I like what Jessi had to say. What a wonderful woman was Sister Hinckley. I'd love to be just like her! And here's my thoughts, take it or leave it...
Get over it! Remember what Pres Monson said? No surgery, just be the beautiful temple that you are, saggy boobs and all.
If there is a medical reason (ie Mrs R or masectomy), OK then.
Okay...here's the deal--everybody get off their high, religious horse! Why is it that nobody ever bashes on the women that get a breast reduction? Why don't you ever hear, "Well, that was the lot she was given in life, to have large boobs so that men would stare at her and so that she couldn't go for a morning jog. She should live with that all her life...it is her destiny!"? Isn't it hipocritical how nobody thinks that reduction is bad, but the same people think its bad for an enlargement? They quote scripture and talks on the enhancement but not on the reduction. I think it is because they are somehow trying to fight against the world view that big boobs are nicer than small ones. That it is a vain desire...maybe even a male pleaser...and "why should we please men?"..."we don't live in the 50's anymore". Some people have grown up with an insecurity, whether it is a large nose, small boobs, or large boobs. If it makes you feel better to change it then do it. It is obvious that you are doing it for you (and maybe your man can benefit at the same time)
president monson said "saggy boobs"? ;)
Girl, I dig that you really aren't afraid of taking on the hottest of hot topics. Kudos!
Boobs: Yep, they undergo major changes with pregnancy/nursing/post. For me, most noticeably with my first and then they stayed about the same with the subsequent 3 kids. I won't ever need an enlargement but if there was an quick & easy "lift" option I wouldn't be opposed to it. Hubs has made it clear that he's against any surgical cosmetic procedure unless truly necessary, but I wonder if he'd say that if he was married to a double A instead of a C? Regardless, the only way we'd consider spending the money on a lift would be if we were beyond having money to burn. (My mother-in-law tells me that a few years after the pregnancy/nursing is over & done with, they start to firm up a little bit... let's hope!)
Botox: I couldn't. Poison injections? Ick.
Tummy: I think that with enough work I could get myself into shape & flat-tummy the natural way, & would feel like a cheater if I went under the knife for anything like that.
I'll tell you what I will do someday: get my age spots lasered. At 32 I'm already getting new ones all the time; after all these years of loving the sun, my skin is starting to turn on me & making me feel 45 or so. So, when the rest of me catches up to my skin's age, I'll be looking into ways to even out my color.
Anon #3, I don't think anyone has been on much of a religious high horse here.
Fun topic!
From what I've studied, you get the boob issues from pregnancy, not nursing. Even though many chicks feel 'deflated' once nursing ends, their boobs will feel, uhm, more full when the fat redeposits in them.
Before I had kids I was all, "After I have kids I'm getting a tummy tuck and everything put back to where it used to be." Now? I don't know. My body is my medal of honor and I like the way it is--I earned this body, it does amazing things.
there is definately a difference between getting a reduction mammoplasty, vs. getting them filled with silicone.
I have always had decent sized breasts, as in, I never complained and girls in the locker room confessed their envy, but when I look back at pictuers of my HS self I WASN'T THAT BIG, so I don't get it.
Now my left is bigger than my right and they're looking south... I have said when I'm done nursing and having babies, I'd like them just LIFTED not enlarged (b/c I have a friend whose mom who is now handicapped from an implantation mishap/leak) and my tummy TUCKED.
Will I do it? I don't know. My husband is very good to me and pretty happy with the way things are, but I wouldn't want to be one of 'those' people who HAD to have PS to feel good about ME. I don't think I would be, but who knows.
Before I do ANYTHING though I'm going to do ALOT of exercise.
There is a website, I don't remember where, that is moderated and women have submitted pictures of their bodies post baby(ies) it slightly borders on "P" but the woman who moderates it did it with the pure intention of "I want women to feel good about them for who and what they/their bodies are". It was enlightening and made me grateful for my body, however I could only handle it for about 3 minutes. Some were a little more risque (that e should be accented) than others.
As for me....I think it is a personal decision. And if it comes to the point where I feel "less" of a woman because of my lack of boobs, or because they are sagging to my waist then I would have no problem going under the knife to get them enhanced. And people can judge me all they want. But if you want to get religious....wasn't it Christ who taught to not judge one another? I agree with a lot of the girls that our body is a temple. But what if someone is so upset or depressed about the way they look and they want to make it look better....should we tell them to suck it up and be depressed because their body is perfect no matter how it looks. As women we are most judgemental of ourselves. No one else is going to care how we look.....but we know how we look. Granted, I think there are MAJOR extremes out there. And I am not advocating a full body makeover. But for me, I would get boob job.
so, the boobs definitely start to get "eggplantish" after you finish the whole having a baby/nursing a baby process. my boobs are a lot smaller and saggier these days. i have often told myself that i'll get a lift after i finish having kids. but we'll see when i get there and how the sisters really look by then. :) the whole tummy thing... i have had amazing success getting my stomach firm and flat with working out... particularly yoga. but it takes a long time... like a couple years. i remember asking one of my yoga teachers soon after the birth of my first son how long i was going to have to wait to have a firm stomach again and she told me she told me it took her three years to lose all her baby weight and get her body back to normal. the point is, though, that she did it. she has had 2 children and she looks fantastic... especially her abs. give it a try. exercise. after your last kid, if that still doesn't get rid of all the extra stuff... i say go for the tuck, lift, etc... but it's definitely a personal thing. first and foremost, though, i think it's important to WORK as hard a you can. :)
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