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In my 19 months as a blogger, I’ve learned a few things. Like, don’t get caught up in a world of proper pseudonyms because you most likely have more than one friend whose name would become Mrs. Pea. (Leaving you no choice but to refer to the other one as Mrs. Pee, a much more unfortunate moniker.)
Other things I’ve learned:
* Sometimes, like yesterday, it’s really, really nice to have a network of well-wishing and advice-doling friends and almost strangers on your side. It’s nice to know that someone who doesn’t have to be nice to you or who isn’t related to you thinks you’re normal - and sometimes funny. It’s often the motivation to finally let Miss Dub cry it out a bit without worrying about her physical and emotional safety. (For the record, I’m doing it as I type. Thank goodness for this distraction because I’m on the verge of crying it out myself.)
Other things I’ve learned:
* Sometimes, like yesterday, it’s really, really nice to have a network of well-wishing and advice-doling friends and almost strangers on your side. It’s nice to know that someone who doesn’t have to be nice to you or who isn’t related to you thinks you’re normal - and sometimes funny. It’s often the motivation to finally let Miss Dub cry it out a bit without worrying about her physical and emotional safety. (For the record, I’m doing it as I type. Thank goodness for this distraction because I’m on the verge of crying it out myself.)
* Other times, it’s really, really scary to put your thoughts, emotions and opinions online for public perusal. Debate is fun, but being berated, mocked or belittled by some anonymous commentor can be deflating. Even worse if it’s between readers because it makes me look complicit. It’s a slippery slope to start deleting comments, though I’ve done it for sure. And don’t get me started about comment spam. Is that really your best marketing plan?
* Watch what you say. Sometimes what sounds innocent to you can totally offend someone you love. Then again, it can be constraining to try and please everyone you vaguely know. (And there’s just something weird about having to censor yourself on your own blog.) The best approach is a little balance – a little restraint here or a little clarification there. And when you still draw ire, apologize. Blogs are not worth burning bridges.
* You never know what will strike a chord. Often my most random musings get the most comments, while what I consider to be really hot topics draw a lukewarm response. People like me when I’m funny, people like me when I’m being a mom, but mostly you like it when I’m being honest. And that’s when my blog serves as therapy so we all win.
* Bloggers aren’t as magical as they appear online. It’s the ol’ online dating scheme – you can self-edit to the point of perfection. Granted, there is a disproportionate amount of creative bloggers than people since it serves as a free artistic outlet. So you’ll find more painters, sewers, writers and crafters per capita. However, that painter only showcases his best works. That sewer failed to show you her last project that turned out terrible. Et cetera. But everyone is human. Everyone leaves the dishes dirty sometimes. Everyone doesn’t look that good in every photo. And if someone seems too good to be true, they’re probably not sharing their whole self … and that’s OK. Blogs can make us feel good because we share the person we want to be, not necessarily who we really are. And if we inspire someone else in the process, even better.
* HTML is confusing, but you can figure it out. Sort of. And sort of is usually good enough for us small-time bloggers.
* Two great sources for royalty-free images are Getty Images and Rubberball. And not just because the latter features BYU’s own Asian Eddie in every other pic. Also, a good way to give credit is to link the actual photo to the site. Doesn't detract from the blog content, but gives credit where credit is due.
* Blogger will shut down on you when you most need it. Count on it.
* It’s much easier to write in a blog than in your journal because someone actually reads it. Plus, it’s a much better balanced view of yourself because it's not just a travelogue or personal history – it has little snippets of your current personality, activites and photos; something posterity can read and say, “So that was my Great Grammie Dub.” Instead of, “Wow, her life sucked.”
Wait, what’s that sound? Is Miss Dub all cried out? Have we made it through the first magical crying it out session? Is there hope? Did it only take 25 minutes? And while it felt like an hour, blogging through her tears kept it from seeming like an eternity.
Because while blogging can be a love/hate relationship – pressure to post, nothing to say, spending way too much time on the computer – it can also be an amazing outlet, a great way to meet other people in your same shoes (preferably cute flats) and something to do when your baby is clinging to her crib for dear life.
What have you learned from blogging?
23 comments:
I just wanted to say "thank you" and "congrats". I found your blog from a friend of a friend and have been hooked ever since. I love to curl up on the couch, eat my bowl of cereal and read what you have to say for the day just before getting my little one out of bed and starting the "mom" day. So, thank you for sharing, thank you for making me laugh, thank you for making me think, and most importantly thank you for being honest.
Secondly, I wanted to say "congrats" on the first night of baby tears. It isn't easy, it isn't fun, but it does pay off in the end. Nice work!!
I just want to say that you are my favorite blogger, ever. Shoot Mrs. Dub, you are hilarious. You are an excellent mom who goes through all the things we all go through yet you express them so well...even to the point that you make them more bearable. You are just a fantastic lady. Thanks for being a blogger.
I've learned that, for me, it's a nice outlet when you are mostly home with the children all day (interspersed with playdates and outings and dr. appointments and grocery shopping and real life in general.) In a few spare minutes throughout my day I can pop into stranger-friend's and real-friend's lives for a little humor, inspiration, sympathy, venting and then return to the "regularly scheduled program" a little more refreshed and resolved.
I've also learned that some people take it waaaaay too seriously or spend waaaaay too much time on it. And, I hope I never become one of them!
I like many blogs for many reasons, but as I said yesterday, I like your honesty the best...keep it coming!
i love that when you have to live so far away - i get to hear some funny stories and see some of the dubs cute faces. and really, when was being a voyer this much fun?
I love it, because even though I talked to you moments ago (and heard Miss Dub's infectious giggle)I still was able to talk to you even longer via the blog.
However . . . who said mean things to you? Because, I WILL have to take them on.
Pfft. How dare they.
Is your mom always that witty and clever? I learned that your mom sounds just as cute as you.
LOVE your blog!
I've learned I'm not the only mommy who gets mad at the baby who won't sleep (naps in my case).
I've learned to worry about offending a few of my readers - which still blows my mind because they are in fact reading MY JOURNAL.
I've learned to take more pictures.
I've learned about cool things like shabby apple, eliza magazine, joeypocket.com, sk*rt (which still confuses me).
...and one of the best things about the world of blogging is all the old friends found & the new ones made!
Great post. Love your blog...you are cleaver, witty, funny, very real and honest. What can I say? I like that.
Wow, I actually made it onto the comment list before number 20! Your blog is quite popular Mrs. Dub. I stumbled across it a couple weeks ago and, like other readers, love the honesty. My little guy is just older than yours, by weeks, it seems, and we often face the same frustrating challenges. Thank you for your honesty and for creating such a wonderful network of helpful, advice-giving moms.
I have learned that I am not alone in this world of motherhood. I live far, far away from my family and most of my friends - thanks to graduate school - and everyone in my ward had kids either right before or right after me, so I lack friends who are experiencing my same challenges right now. It is wonderful to feel connected to people - friends and strangers.
On a side note: hello to you and Mr. Dub. I am your long-lost roommate for two seconds, who was so happy to find you in blog world and to see where your life has gone. Your little girl is darling and you look fabulous!
love, Anna (the girl you set up with the guy with no leg)
I stumbled upon your blog through a friend of a friend and start each day with you and my morning paper. I love the blogging world, and although it consumes way too much time that should be spent cleaning, I have learned much about being a mother through you and other bloggers. Thank you for sharing and making me laugh.
There is hope and resolution to the crying/lack of sleep: my little guy (10 mo.) used to cry himself to sleep. This lasted about 2 weeks and now when I put him down for nap time, he sits in his crib and listens to the music until he falls asleep (usually within 5 minutes. good luck.
I'll have to jump on the bandwagon, because truthfully, I've never read a blog more fun and entertaining as yours. Usually I check blogs for pictures....with yours I check it for the Hot Topics, the witty-ness (is that even a word), and I even like reading the comments made. I'm also quite jealous over the fact that you get quite the response - anonymous or not.
The one thing I've learned from blogging is that sometimes giving your blog out to family members isn't always a good idea. As much as I love certain members of my family, there are others that just bug....of course, they are the ones who read my blog often, which means I can't vent - for fear they'd read. Maybe I should start a new one!
you are like, totally famous. and for good reason. your blog is the best! it is so true to who you are. since i actually know you personally (which totally makes me cooler than i really am), i can say that you are just as funny and hip and beautiful as you seem. i am glad we're friends. and i am doubly glad that i can see what you are up to on a daily basis, because illinois is just too far away.
i think your blog stinks...
haha... ok, that's totally not true, but i feel like a broken record saying that i love it just like everyone else. :) truth be told, i'm a little depressed after i get my daily dosage of m&m because i realize i have a whole 24 hours to wait for the next edition. :)
OK, how much did my mom pay each of you?
even if you were forced to write such nice things, i really appreciate them. i honestly think i'm a loser so it's nice to hear that some people actually like me.
i could quote sally field here, but i wouldn't want to lose all these new readers. (and old/new friends like anna and ashby!)
by the way, it's all of your comments that really make this thing worth reading.
I've learned that maybe I should check your blog often because you are obviously loved.
Give it to me real, I like real. I don't like to be alone in my struggles and I love inspiration. It seems you have both.
Thanks.
oh, and i've learned you can't make fun of people from church on your blog... even if you don't know a soul in the ward... because people like ashby randomly find your blog and say "hey! i was there too!" ... thanks for not ratting me out ashby! :)
...i've learned that i actually somewhat enjoy writing. i've always struggled with writing in a journal...i hate it and i've always thought that i was no good at writing. while it's probably true that i'm not that great of a writer, i've learned i don't suck as much as i thought and that writing in an open forum is a lot more fun than in a book that is going to be read only by me, my husband and maybe some other family member years down the line. thanks for writing... :)
LOL Janaya! Your secret is safe with me.....as long as you don't rat me out either! I used to babysit that girl when she was younger!
What I have learned in my short 4 months in blogland:
*I enjoy it.
*I'm dumber with the technical aspects of blogging/cyberspace than I'd assumed I would be.
*Family members tend to prefer pictures to lengthy diatribes.
*Many of my "great post ideas" I think of late at night remain in the draft column; they're just not so clever in the light of day.
*I do feel pressure to post if it's been more than 3 days. Like right now.
*Many readers refuse to comment, but they're still reading. Mrs. Dub, I wonder if you've ever tallied your all-time unique commentors? Factoring in the almost certainly significant non-comment-making faction, your readership must rival that of your professional writing days!
*I'm still learning to watch what I say. I tend to forget at times that this isn't the same as my journal; that it's essentially public & permanent. While I don't think I've offended anyone or made TOO big a fool of myself so far, I have a couple of minor regrets in postings.
You're an absolutely awesome blogging mentor/idol/example; keep up the great work! (Congrats on the cry-out too! :)
Blogging is my favorite hobby, it's 1-FREE 2-allows me to express my self w/o forcing it on someone and 3-I love journaling and have found this is the PERFECT way for me to do it.
I have learned that my sometimes negative self talk isn't really the way I feel and I need to stop that! Most of what I post is probably the 'shiny happy' side of things, but I do try to be real. I don't want to be one of those downer bloggers, ya know? I think it's important to have a place to view you're ideal self, because it helps you to be come that person! I really do get a lot of joy out of life, but the monotany can be daunting sometimes.
It is hard for things that are being READ to be taken in the proper context sometimes, and some people are overly sensitive and easily offended (I can be that very person at times!). Blogs are not worth burning bridges and sadly my bent-over-backwards-into-pretzle-form efforts to make things right has even further fueled the fire at times. That's when you know is more about them, and NOT SO MUCH or at all about you...
So Mrs. Dub, Keep it comin' and KEEP IT REAL! If someone you don't even know (like me!) Goes Kamakazi on you toss it to the wind wish for them some prozac, as the case may be... and be on your MERRY WAY!
and congrats on the crying it out... isn't it the hardest thing to do?!
Oh yeah... and as my blogger base has expanded, I've learned I have to watch what I say b/c reminiscing on memories from HS might get you in trouble, and make you sound like a total jerk.
okay sorry for the 3rd post in this thread... but WHERE do you get your photos? Is it from those sites? I am thinking of one in particular of clothes hanging on the line. I love it.
here, here especially to the last paragraph.
love you, my blogging mentor.
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