STOP what you’re doing!
There is something called a Grāpple. And it’s a cross between a grape and an apple.
Strike that. It’s not.
Despite delicious daydreams of a crisp apple with gooey grape center, it turns out a Grāpple is more like an apple soaked in Otter Pop juice. (Alexander the Grape juice to be exact.)
It’s not of the hybrid fruit variety, like my coveted pluot, which I paid tribute to previously.
It’s not like a seedless watermelon, which revolutionized the picnic.
And it’s nothing like a slimcado, which reminds you that an avocado is a fruit and only good because it’s full of fat.
The Grāpple is a fruit travesty, if you ask me. And no one did. And, no, I haven’t tried one, but I’ve seen the website.
But the real question is … with all they can do to fruit and vegetables these days, why the heck are there no seedless cherries?
Or bananas that stay ripe for longer than 20 minutes?
Or a white chocolate-covered strawberry that comes off the vine drenched in yummy goodness.
Or a caramel apple that requires no dipping and/or bobbing. (And if possible, doesn’t break your teeth.)
OK, so those last two may have to wait a few centuries. I mean, if people are up in arms about cloning, just imagine the caramel apple debate. It would get sticky! (Pun painfully intended.)
But what about you –
There is something called a Grāpple. And it’s a cross between a grape and an apple.
Strike that. It’s not.
Despite delicious daydreams of a crisp apple with gooey grape center, it turns out a Grāpple is more like an apple soaked in Otter Pop juice. (Alexander the Grape juice to be exact.)
It’s not of the hybrid fruit variety, like my coveted pluot, which I paid tribute to previously.
It’s not like a seedless watermelon, which revolutionized the picnic.
And it’s nothing like a slimcado, which reminds you that an avocado is a fruit and only good because it’s full of fat.
The Grāpple is a fruit travesty, if you ask me. And no one did. And, no, I haven’t tried one, but I’ve seen the website.
But the real question is … with all they can do to fruit and vegetables these days, why the heck are there no seedless cherries?
Or bananas that stay ripe for longer than 20 minutes?
Or a white chocolate-covered strawberry that comes off the vine drenched in yummy goodness.
Or a caramel apple that requires no dipping and/or bobbing. (And if possible, doesn’t break your teeth.)
OK, so those last two may have to wait a few centuries. I mean, if people are up in arms about cloning, just imagine the caramel apple debate. It would get sticky! (Pun painfully intended.)
But what about you –
what would be your fruit of the future?
11 comments:
An apple sized strawberry. MMM
Oh no wait,, a ginormous seedless raspberry... yeaaaaaah
I feel qualified to weigh in on this important topic as I have, in fact, tried the Grapple. I was in a San Francisco Safeway when I first spotted the Grapple. I was attracked by the clever display and pristine looking apples. I bought a four-pack despite the hefty price and took them home. I was excited as I sliced one up for the fam to enjoy. The smell was intoxicating...just like concord grapes! I took a bite, AND...
Nothing.
No grape taste. Not even any apple taste. No flavor at all.
It was one of the biggest disappointments of my life.
Thanks for bringing up such a painful memory.
(I do love pluots, though...!)
Hmmm...I don't know a melon mixed with something that tasted GOOD. For some reason I can only stomach watermelon...but cantaloupe? honedew? *vomit* They always look so lucious, but even the sweetened jelly belly jellybean version make me ill?
How about a nectaloupe (nectarine and cantaloupe) Okay, so bascially just a super large nectarine...they're my favs.
I would like an Avolantpeño - thinking.... thinking... I'll help out. It's an Avocado-Cilantro-Jalapeño. I really just want to be able to eat fresh guacamole all of the time.
Peaches that are guaranteed ripe & juicy & sweet from any grocery store in AZ all year round so I wouldn't have to import them from Utah every September. And whose skins slip off easily without blanching... so you could peel them off like a banana, for my kids who don't like peach skins & for me who likes to make them into pies. I mean the fruit not the skins; I bet a peach-skin pie would be too chewy.
I like the idea of fruit covered in chocolate!
I have also tried the Grapple. Craig and I saw them at the grocery store and thought it would be interesting to try. I agree with Acte Gratuit, no grape flavor at all.
i do so love pluots, too. and i was not aware that the a in grapple was a long a. thank you for clarifying. i thought it rhymed with apple. huh.
Funny you should bring this up. I was just drinking a homemade raspberry shake and spitting the seeds out in my hand. (Yes, it is gross.) Seedless raspberries would definitely be cool. As would peaches with no fuzz. And don't say nectarines are the same thing, because they absolutely are not.
I saw some Grapples at the store...and I was curious, but at your recommendation, I resisted the urge to try them. If I could have my fruity druthers, I'd love a mango that was all succulently sweet, edible flesh without that irksome hard spot in the middle. And as long as I'm wishing, I'd love for all peaches to be free-stone (the kind that easily pull away from the pit.)
I've never even heard of of grapple. Very interesting. I do love pluots. I loved Colleen's comment, and I totally agree... fuzzless peaches would be pretty nifty and YEAR ROUND would be amazing.
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