HTT - Upfront Edition

Today’s Hot Topic is a tragic one that can only begin with this heated declaration:

Movies and TV suck.

Like, for real.

As members of Blockbuster Online, we have the privilege of viewing nearly all new releases, minus those rated-R ones. (Which may make this topic null and void, except I can’t endure all the drugs, sex, violence and potty mouths to explore that.)

I usually base my selections on previews, some which almost make me call a babysitter until I remember ticket prices these days. (What are we up to? $35? $40? And don’t get me started on the cost of Jujubes.) But when the movies come out on DVD – like, three weeks later – I am disappointed time and time again.

Last weekend, it was “Catch and Release,” starring Jennifer Garner, who I’m pretty confident would be my new best friend if given the chance to meet me. But even her dimples couldn’t save this flop. It was like there were actual pieces of the script that had gone missing, but no one cared enough to find them.

I won’t even talk about “The Lake House,” which may be the worst piece of celluloid in decades. That film was clearly written in an obscure tribal language and then half-heartedly translated into English. Hence it’s total nonsensicality.

The only good thing about all of this is that my expectations are so low that anything vaguely entertaining gets my star of approval. And yet, I’ve only given out stars to a handful of recent flicks.

Same goes for TV.

This week is the “upfronts” in NYC, where all the networks announce their fall schedules, and thereby determine the fate of struggling series and hopeful pilots. Since my dear friend, Kristin, has the inside scoop on this stuff, I’ve been privy to the plots of some new shows.

Let’s just say you could summarize all of them by filling in the blanks:
“It’s ‘Desperate Housewives’ but with __________.”
“It’s ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ but set in ____________.”
“It’s ‘Sex and the City’ if ___________ were in charge.”

To which you can fill in my response:
“The ___ network is totally devoid of creativity and ingenuity.”

Seriously, “Veronica Mars” – whose first seasons was akin to “My So-called Life” - is likely getting axed but “Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Doll” will live on … and on … and on.

Here’s what we currently TiVo:
“The Office”
“24”
“Lost”
“Veronica Mars”
“Psych”
"Project Runway"
“Iron Chef America”
“Gilmore Girls” – which takes its final bow tonight!

That’s it. And I’m not even that excited about many of those shows – either because they’ve lost their touch after a few seasons (24, VM & GG), or I wish I never started to watch them because they play with my mind and emotions (Lost).

The rest of TV makes me a little annoyed. Although I’m sure there are some good shows out there I’m missing, which is why you must plead their case in the comments section below.

I mean, is any out there actually watching “Two and Half Men”? Because someone clearly is, according to my pal, Nielsen.

What about you?

Do you think TV and movies are at their prime or prime for a makeover?

Do tell.

p.s. How much do you want Jim and Pam to kiss and make up? (Acceptable answers: "A lot," or "Mucho much.")