After a lil’ hiatus, I’ve decided to go all Mormon on y’alls.
But since most of my readers are LDS, and many of you are honorary members (yes, that includes you, Steph, and Peanut), I’ve decided that’s OK.
The topic at hand is sister missionaries.
For those who don’t know, members of the LDS Church have the opportunity to serve ecclesiastical missions. Basically, you fill out some general paperwork and are assigned somewhere in the world to preach the good word, do service and live 24/7 with a designated companion. (There are way more deets to this whole process and arrangement, but they are neither hot nor topical so if you want to know more, email me.)
Guys can choose to go at 19 and are highly encouraged to do so, if not expected. Gals can choose to go at 21 and are under no pressure to “serve a mission,” as we like to say. It’s a matter of prayer, reflection, life situation and personal preference. “If you go, great; if you don’t, that works, too,” seems to be the mentality.
Or so I thought.
But actually, there’s a lot of positive and negative thoughts on the whole issue. One friend was told by someone that she “would have been a better mother” if she had served a mission. (!?!?)
I did serve a mission. And I do think it made me a better mother, but that’s because I was supposed to go. Had I ignored the promptings, I don’t think I would have enjoyed the same blessings in life that I do now. But if you felt strongly that you shouldn’t go (or were already married), then you clearly weren’t meant to serve a mission. And in no way did that make you a lesser person or a worse mom or wife or friend.
When I was I teenager, I thought that every unmarried 21-year-old Mormon gal should serve a mission. I considered it like tithing – paying 10% of our earnings to the church to fund its various operations - if you had the time, you owed the Lord to give a lil’ back after all He had given you. So I was a little confused when amazing girls I knew chose not to serve missions for what seemed like personal reasons. (“I don’t want to learn a language.” “I could never get along with a companion.” “I would be homesick.” “I don’t want to get fat.”)
But now I get it. There’s just not room for a lot of sister missionaries. Not only are many areas of the world unsafe for women but many cultures wouldn’t respect them. Also, in my experience, there are good elders, there are bad elders, and there are a lot of mediocre ones. But with sister missionaries, there are really good ones, there are really bad ones, and that’s about it. Because sisters seem to go for all the right reasons, or all the wrong ones.
Which is why you often hear horror stories about sister missionaries. And why a lot of guys didn’t want to date me when I got back from my mission. (Which was easier than writing “jerk” across their foreheads, I suppose.) And why a lot of people said things like, “I can’t believe you went on a mission.” As if a decent fashion sense and sense of humor should have disqualified me for the work.
Even now, fellow church members act surprised when I tell them I served a mission, even more when I say I went to El Salvador.
But I’m proud to tell people I went. And I still reflect fondly on my time as a missionary. It was so unbelievably, freaking hard – harder than anyone could have told me. So hard that there were days I was positive that missions were a Mormon conspiracy. (“Best two years of my life, my …!”) But there were more special, sacred, amazing moments than I’d ever experienced, which made it sooo worth it. It is a priceless, treasured part of who I am.
And, despite what many people say, there is no way I could have obtained the same spiritual knowledge and experience had I stayed behind. Because no 21-year-old college lass is immersing herself in the scriptures like a missionary does. So there is that perk.
And I wouldn’t be the same person today if I hadn’t gone. Because I was supposed to go. Just like you might have been destined not to. Which makes us both wonderful.
So dish.
Did you serve a mission?
Did you choose not to?
How did you make that decision?
Do you ever have any regrets?
What advice would you give to a daughter if she was trying to decide?
Oh, and how much do you want to ban jumpers from sister missionary wardrobes? (Even though they are really, really comfortable and make hopping onto moving buses loaded with chickens and naked children really, really easy.)
34 comments:
I served a mission in Italy and Malta and have been home for more than seven years. It was an experience that cannot be duplicated. It was the best 18 months I’ve ever had and the worst because when it is great it is GREAT, when it bad it is BAD. I served with wonderful sisters who really wanted to work and were great missionaries and others who really weren’t sure why they were there and found missionary work to be miserable. I think those that found it miserable may not have really wanted to be there, but felt the pressure…21 not married, no prospects, done with school…the next logical thing was a mission. I was grateful when it was made clear that for sisters it was an option. I do think that I am a better mom for going…but I’ve also had many other experiences outside of my mission that have helped to. I have two sisters who are married with children who didn’t serve (but could have if they wanted to) and they are both fantastic moms. Staying close to what is true to your heart is the key to being a good mom, not being a returned missionary. If I had a daughter who wanted to serve I think I would make sure she knew that it’s hard work, very rewarding, but difficult.
And I actually took a jumper with me on my mission (what I was thinking, I don’t know). The members in Italy are so fashionable I think they got a kick out of the sister’s lame wardrobes.
I always wanted to go on a mission. Senor Azucar talked me out of it and into marrying him. He knows that I always wanted to go and promised to go with me as senior missionaries in forty years (give or take.)
I still wish I'd gone, but try to understand that going on a mission wasn't my calling at that time.
I didn't serve a mission, although 4 siblings before me had, including 3 girls, and one little sister did, so I felt/feel a little pressure about it. To say it lightly I "wasn't very active" in college, but I did end up marrying young and worthily in the temple at 21 to an awesome and very "good" Mormon guy. I have heard things like sister missionaries are less likely to get boob jobs and such (I really have!). I really can't wait until my husband retires and we can go on missions together. And I don't like being the only kid in my family that isn't fluent in Spanish (including the in-laws!).
I did serve and it was the right thing for me. I loved my experience and feel it made me a better person (wife and mother especially). But like you said, that is me. It is not for everyone and I had companions that maybe should not have been there. Each woman is different and must choose, through careful consideration and pray.
For my daughters, I will tell them of my wonderful experience and what prompted me to go, but I will not make it a must in our house. My parents were great at this even with 3 of my 4 older sisters serving before.
For the jumpers, I had a couple which I like to think were more stylish (right) and really liked them when I got fat.
And Go Boo Boo, you are an awesome mother and did not need the mish to be a wonderful example to me:)
I was married before I was eligible to serve a mission and honestly never planned (or wanted) to go on a full-time mission. I figure that right now the souls I am responsible for bringing into the church are my kids and their posterity. But lucky you to have both experiences!!
I do think it's a shame that sister missionaries are stereo-typed as being the unattractive left-overs though. It's so NOT TRUE.
Heck yes I served a mission. To New York City Spanish speaking no less!!! (Well, half the mission was Spanish speaking...long story) It was honestly the hardest most wonderful thing that I have ever had the opportunity to accomplish. The greatest lessons were learned about following the spirit, and relying on the Lord. I was able to challenge myself to be strong, and to be perfectly obedient, and was pleasantly pleased with the results. Sometimes I still look back (it's been 3 1/2 years) and think "Did I really do that?" Most Elders (At least the mediocre ones) didn't like me, because I also challenged them to walk a little faster, and talk a little more. I didn't have time to just "Chill" on my mission because I knew what a short time I had to listen to the will of my Heavenly Father. I am a much better mom because of my experience, mostly though because it changed ME and gave me a better outlook on life, and who I wanted to be. And I know that the expression is cliché that you are a better wife because you have already had "Companions" that you have had to deal with (Oh, and I had some doozies) but it really is true. You take the companionship inventory, and turn it a little less dramatic and weepy and you have the perfect form of communication. I had a sister in law that was getting ready to go, and then after she had prepared, she felt like it was not the right time. I respect her so much for that decision, because she listened to what was right for her. A mission is not for every woman. I am so grateful that I served, and will be eternally grateful for the people that I was able to have in my life for that short period of time. If I had daughters that wanted to go, I would encourage them, but invite them to pray and ponder on the decision, as it is a life changing one. There are so many opportunity for us to be member missionary’s right where we live. Oh, and the jumper issue... Let's just say we had a love/hate relationship. It's over now, and we have both gone our ways. Wow. Long post. Thanks for the HTT!
i think choosing to go on a mission is one of those things where you need to follow your gut, and/or the spirit. it sounds like you were supposed to serve a mission and that if you hadn't, you would have been going against what you knew was right for you. i definitely respect that, because following those prompting probably meant putting fear, self-doubt, and apprehension behind you and jumping into that service fully trusting the Lord.
i never thought i would go on a mission, and i didn't go. my parents were kind of clear that they didn't really want their daughters serving missions, but i'm sure if i had felt that i should, they would have supported me. i think it's sad that so many go for the wrong reasons, but there is clearly a need for sisters in the mission field, so i say, if you really feel like you should go, and aren't just going because your friends are and you don't have enough dates to go on, then you ought to go, and more power to you!
I DID go on a mission. I went to Ecuador. I had always wanted to go on a mission, and it was perfect for me. The timing was right, and I felt good about the decision. There were wonderful times, and they outweigh the horrible times. I have companions that became my best friends, and I still love them dearly.
That said, I don't think missions are right for every gal, and I decided as soon as I got home that I am not going to encourage my daughters to go. I won't discourage them if they want to, though. I'll be honest about my experiences. There were definite things I didn't like, but there were lots of things I loved. I would just ask my daughter to pray.
As for the jumpers, I had a couple, and they really were not superior to some of my other cute cotton dresses that washed and wore well in the tropics. I might have to post a few mish pics on my blog today... check later. :)
I never felt the desire to go, not when I was little and not when I was nearing age 21. I had the utmost respect for those who chose to go, but I never planned to myself. A couple months before my birthday, I started receiving some strong pressure about going (from someone who will remain anonymous so as not to disparage them). In hindsight, I know this person only wanted what was best for me, and I'm sure that going would have been a great experience, but I'm glad I wasn't receiving the same pressure from all sides or I might've felt compelled to. Not that there would've been anything wrong with going... but I would've gone to make other people happy and not because I had a desire to. I ended up getting engaged the weekend of my 21st birthday, and amid my excitement of pending marriage I actually did think to myself, "Phew, at least I have the marriage excuse now, so that so-and-so will stop telling me I should go on a mission!" The engagement certainly wasn't planned to avert the mission; Hubs & I had been dating for several months prior, & were already talking marriage before the aforementioned pressure occurred.
In conclusion: I am glad the Church's policy is what it is, with regards to Sister Missionaries. I have no regrets about my own decision. That said, I think it would be fabulous to go with my husband someday when we're older.
I had my paper work in hand, had met with my bishop... and didn't go. And I don't regret it. I don't think I would've been brave enough to have made it through the experience. Although, I WISH I had been brave enough, and I WISH that a mission had been what I was supposed to do.
I have a 12 yr old (step) daughter. I would love for her to go. I would love for her to come to know the scriptures and the gospel more intimately, like only a mission will allow you. I think it will make her a better wife, and mom, and friend. And mostly, I just really don't want her to get married so young. (Now, there's a good "next topic" for HTT)
I served a 2 year mission for the LDS church. I feel like I have to qualify my comments by saying that I am not a bum, I didn't come home early, I worked very hard, and my family and I are active in the church now. As a missionary, I shook my head and bit my tongue many many times in response to some of the actions and comments of the sisters in my mission. Laytonclan said "Most Elders (At least the mediocre ones) didn't like me, because I also challenged them to walk a little faster, and talk a little more. I didn't have time to just "Chill" on my mission because I knew what a short time..." -- and that's the beef. The sister missionaries I knew spent too much time critiquing the attitude and purpose of others and not enough time quietly going about their business. I felt like I left home to serve others, but the sisters were there to tell the elders how immature they were, or how they spent too much time "chilling". Furthermore, I always felt like (today's comments are a perfect example) sisters describe mission experiences in such an .... orgasmic manner that I don't know when to take things seriously. I don't doubt it was great, and you are better for having done it and all, but I feel like you are trying to sell me a bottle of "how good it was." Having said that, it is nice to read such positive experiences. The sincere comments are easily identifiable.
I never wanted to go on a mission, ever in my whole life. I did not get along well with girls and I just didn't want to do it and have people think I only went because I wasn't married or whatever. I totally respect women who don't want to go but have the prompting to do it and then do. I feel like I am doing that same thing with my kids. We certainly were ready when we had Gracie, but with the one I am currently pregnant with, I did not want to get pregnant as soon as I did and cried probably the first 6 months. While it was really hard to do, we still felt a strong feeling we should try and it would have been much worse if we had ignored the promptings. As far as Sister Missionaries go, to those who can do it are amazing and those who can't have another calling they will fulfill in their life.
Trust me Ryan it wasn't "orgasmic".
I guess I didn't get the chance. They still don't let 21 year old married and pregnant girls go... even so, i would have loved the chance. maybe i wouldn't have been a good missionary - with my deep down problem with people telling me what to do.- or maybe i could have gotten past that. as far as encouraging young girls, i say, encourage! what can be wrong about serving the lord? i think all people should be living their lives, preparing to always teach the gospel. hello, isn't that the whole point of us mormons?
Canada Montreal Mission! WORD!
I never, ever, ever, never wanted to go, but that old tricky personal revelation hit me on the bus ride to school at the University of Utah (of all places.)
While serving, I laughed every single day at how impossible a mission is, which got me through in the end.
I am very picky about recommending it to other women.
Also: I had a cheetah print dress. No jumpers for me.
(Great Topic!)
Hmmm, I have so many thoughts on this topic I could probably write a whole book.
Missions are really hard, I think alot of RM's get rose colored glasses about the whole experience. I always figure people who say it was the best two years of their lives must have pretty sad lives!
But that said, I don't know a better way to immerse yourself in the Gospel and to really let it sink into you. My mom served a mission, my sister did, my brother married an RM. I know this won't be a popular sentiment but I really believe there is a depth you achieve as a missionary that it's tough to get if you don't go. Even the simple act of giving up what you want to do for that time period-even if you are a crappy missionary otherwise-is something very few people in the world ever do. Sometimes it amazes even me that I was able to do it. Lessons from my mission come back into my daily life all the time. The sisters in my mission were smart, educated, amazing women who only sometimes wore jumpers (ok whatever, we all did. it's a fashion era I have blocked from my brain). I hope my daughters go. I hope my sons are attracted to women who went. I respect that right now the Church doesn't encourage it so there are women who don't go, but I honestly hope one day that changes.
I guess I just can't understand how dedicating your life to the Lord for 18 months could ever be a bad decision.
As for Sister Missionaries being the unattractive leftovers. Yawn. Is this still 1972? The church is bursting with single women over the age of 21 who are total hotties and anyone who doesn't know that hasn't been to a singles ward recently.
Great topic. Great comments. For me, there was never even the slightest stir of a prompting to serve a mission. I guess technically I could have served considering I broke off an engagement at 21-22, but I felt more prompted to move to Texas at that time (where I met my current husband 3 months later!)
In my youth, I remember my 4 brothers (who are MUCH older than me) making fun of sister missionaries, as if only the homely, overweight, spinster girls went. Even at 6 I was so offended by that stereotype. I get gleeful when I see beautiful, intelligent, spiritual sisters out there serving the Lord just because they were prompted to do so. I hope that aforementioned stereotype is changing.
If my daughter felt prompted to serve a mission, I would worry sick and pray that she had a strong enough testimony and work ethic to make it through, but I would support her 100%.
I found myself in the "21, just graduated from college, no prospects, no plans for the future" situation, and thought HARD about a mission. I decided that I should go, and prayed about it, and then realized it wasn't what I was supposed to do.
I come from a town where if you don't marry at 19, you are considered hopeless. So for me, graduating from college, BYU even, without meeting my eternal companion was awful. I'm sure some people from my home ward were just devistated. "That poor Abbie. She'll never get married now. She's already 21 you know."
Along with the idea that early marriage was rghteous, came the idea that sister missionaries were the leftovers. Of course, I've learned better since then. But it did leave a sour taste in my mouth for wanting to serve a mission. I didn't want to be one of those leftovers, but at the same time, I already was, since I didn't have a husband yet.
Obviously everything worked out great (I did meet my husband the summer after graduation), and I'm glad I didn't go, especially with the naive attitude I probably would have gone into it with. I'll make a much better senior missionary.
i never wanted to serve a mission. i knew it wasn't in my cards. to tell you the truth, i am scared to death to even go on a mission with mike when we are old. i think boys have to go on missions. girls are lucky and get a choice. for some, like mrs. dub, the right thing was to go. for me, the right thing was to get married and start making babies. it is all about listening to the spirit and knowing what is right for you. i would hate to think that there are sister missionaries out there who felt pressured into going. that is sad.
I never planned on serving a mission, it wasn't in my plans at all, but it was in someone else's plans for me. Between the bishop, the spirit and a conference talk; someone higher than me talked me into making it part of my plans. I went to Sweden, and could not agree more with loving and hating my mission. I never thought something could be SO hard. I know it made me a better person, but I would never try to talk someone in to going. If someone wants to go then they should because they will get a lot out of it, but if they feel it is not for them then they shouldn't serve.
I actually had more people tell me that I shouldn't go on a mission than tell me I should. I had just started to date "the one" or so I thought at that time and my mom had been diagnosed with cancer 2 years earlier and I had raised my 2 sisters during that time, but there was no denying the answer I got that I was suppose to go, so I went and the boyfriend stayed around (kind of) but we didn't marry and my mom stay healthy (kind of - she did treatments, but she continued to fight cancer for another 5 years after that).
I didn't serve a mission. As I got closer to 21, I started to feel a lot of pressure to go. I was in school and totally single. A few of my closest friends chose not to go, but the overwhelming feeling I got from those around me was that "girls should go." Just before my birthday, the church made the statement about girls and missions. I was so glad to hear that; it took the pressure off, and I decided not to go. I think it was the right choice for me. I don't have regrets about not going. Sometimes I wonder how my life would be different if I had, but I wouldn't change a thing.
If my daughter has a desire to serve and feels like she should go I would advise her to pray about it and to be sure she wants to go. I'd have her talk to my little sister (who did serve a mission).
Do they still "let" sister missionaries wear jumpers? I thought they had to wear dress suits these days. ???
ps - mrs. dub - my husband served in el salvador, too. :) he didn't have a scary appendix surgery, but he did have a yucky, painful surgery on his toe. so far i haven't heard a lot of great things about medicine down there.
did you ever try the el salvador restaurant in provo? we like the pupusas. :)
I am a woman and I served a mission in Argentina... I knew from the time I was 18 and my sister was leaving on her mission that I was going to go. I don't think that the stereotype that those who go on missions (sisters I mean) are the leftovers that aren't married. I had chances to get married before I went on my mission- but I knew I wouldn't be satisfied if I did not serve a mission (besides none of the suitors was my eternal companion -- cheezy I know!) Well- I will never regret serving a mission and I loved my experience- It was very difficult- but I feel like in life- no pain - no gain. Some of the hardest things help you to become a better person-- and it is much easier to look back on. I am now a mother of four and feel that I am experiencing some of the same hardships as I did on the mission- in many ways (if not all) being a mother and wife is harder than serving a full time proselyting mission. I learn so much from my sister/best friend who didn't serve a mission-- but in many ways is stronger than I am.
I always thought I wanted to serve a mission, but after receiving my patriarchal blessing, I knew I wouldn't be serving one, not at 21 anyway. I did not expect, however to be married and 3 months away from having my first child at 21! My cousin who I've always looked up to (served a mission in Chile) told me once that "there is nothing serving a mission will teach you that motherhood won't". Of course there are experiences that are only provided in missionary service, but I like what someone said about sharing the gospel IS what we're supposed to do, whether we're called to full time service or not. Such a good reminder, and something I could really be a lot better about.
Now let's be honest....I get to the MTC and I notice that some of the sister missionaries are hot and I think, "Wow, this won't be that bad!" Then I get to my mission and most are Utah "leftovers" (as someone commented on earlier). The overwhelming majority of women go on missions because they either can't get married (and those are the bitter, mean, controlling, sisters) or haven't found the right one yet by that young age of 21. Since Utah is a peculiar state where women are viewed as leftovers if they aren't married by 21, a lot of women get into serious relationships early. Thus most women that go on missions are leftovers by Utah standards, but not by the standards of the rest of the civilized world. The sister missionaries from other states were among the best in my mission, and I believe its because they weren't bitter as to their unmarried state (no pun intended.) Let's call a spade a spade.
Who is this Ryan character? I like the honesty. I laugh at his comments since I am not from Utah, but come on... not all Utah sister missionaries are like that!
I totally know what he means, since I had companions that really thought they were something special and that they were totally superior to the Elders (and most of the other Hermanas too). I knew a few that had gone on a mission simply because they were done with school and didn't have anyone to marry... and it took them a little longer to catch the missionary spirit. But the majority of the sisters in my mission were there because they really wanted to be and knew it was right for them. They were hard workers and obedient too.
We had awesome Elders in my mission too, but I think it should be mentioned that PLENTY of boys go on missions because they are expected too, yet they don't want to be there and don't work hard and sometimes cause lots of problems. I bet this has changed in the past few years since the standards for going on a mission are higher now.
I just hate the stereotypes for sister missionaries, and I feel sorry for people like Ryan who had bad experiences with the sisters.
wow Ryan, is that a documented fact that most sister missionaries are girls who couldn't get married?
because the overwhelming majority of the women i know who served missions did it because they felt after prayerful consideration that the Lord wanted them to do it.
But yeah, you probably know more about this than I do.
I also want to say- that something I learned very deeply on my mission was the power of the priesthood. I really respected the Elders (even though they were younger than I- for the most part.) and they taught me things that I carry with me to this day. I am sorry that Ryan didn't feel like the sister missionaries respected the Elders and that they were on the mission because "they couldn't get married". I could find some better (and easier) things to do besides go on a mission if that was the only reason for serving. That is quite ridiculous and a stereotype that I feel is completely false with 99.9% of sister missionaries. Give me a break. I would never encourage my daughter to go on a mission just because she wasn't married. I feel she should have life experiences - before marriage- but that does not have to include a full-time mission.
Come on now...let's come back to Earth....Am I wrong that Utah girls are married at the youngest ages in the US? Am I wrong that many girls wonder what's wrong with them if they haven't been in a serious relationship by the age of 21? Am I wrong to say that I remember what it was like to be 19 and 20 (how young that is!) and that I would hope my daughter doesn't rush in at that age? Come on now, let's not all be naive and holier than thou about this. If we all asked ourselves, "What age would be ideal for my daughter to get married?", not many of us would say 19. So why is it that the pressure exists? Why do so many get into serious relationships so early to the point that they don't even consider missions? All I am saying is that the majority of women that are in serious relationships (and obviously those that are married and most that are engaged) don't go on missions. Hence, most are "leftovers" (as the previous blogger identified them as). Now, don't get me wrong...there were many sisters in my mission that were great. There were some that were horrible. But there wasn't much inbetween. And the only explaination I can come up with is that those who wanted to be there were great, and those that felt like they were bitter leftovers, with nothing else to do, were bad.
I remember being told that I was not going to be a good mom because I did not serve a mission. I believed that lady for a minute...but soon got over it after putting it into perspective. I will be a good mom if I choose to be a good mom.
I had 2 brothers and 2 sistes go on a mission before me...I never felt pressure from anyone. I do remember praying about it...it never seemed right for me. I will seve a mission with my husband down the line...can't wait.
I guess that would leave me in a leftover position as Ryan stated. I have to say that you (Ryan)...you got a pretty HOT leftover!
Ha! I'm loving this lil' debate, which I'm catching up on now since my 'rents were in town yesterday.
I think we all agree - missions are wonderful, but gals should only go if they feel inspired to do so. There are blessings for everyone on all sides. Missions are hard, but so is school or motherhood or marriage. What's important is doing what's right for you. (And sticking with your decision!)
As for "leftovers" ... I sometimes find that food tastes better after a little time anyway!
alright, up on my high horse i go..
Here is the real root of why discussions about Sister Missionaries have a tendency to make me want to spit nails. When a boy says he wants to go on a mission he will get nothing but support. No one will question his motives, "Wow, is it because you aren't married yet?", no one will say, "lots of Elders are really lazy and disobedient. I had this on Elder in my mission who was so bad the mission president finally sent him home.", no one will say "the Elders in my mission gained alot of weight." Nope, people will just congratulate him and wish him well. But if you are a girl, somehow people lose their freakin' minds and decide this is the opportunity to say every bad thing they can think of about Sister Missionaries. TO A GIRL WHO IS GOING ON ONE. You know what I don't say to a guy who is about to marry a really young girl? "I hear she'll never get her baby weight off and she's lose interest in sex pretty soon after that." So I hever never understood why the decision to serve a mission for the Lord is something that makes people so excited to talk about the crappy sister missionaries they knew. Especially because I know a TON of women who served missions and the overwhelming majority do not fit the profile of bitter, depresso women who didn't have anything better to do. It's really interesting to see how a guy's true colors come out in the way he chooses to talk about Sisters. As if a bad experience with one or two makes any sort of statement about them as a whole. I had a Mission President who loved Sisters and encouraged the Elders to see us as an asset. elders and sister have such different strengths and working together they can seriously be unstoppable. It just breaks my heart that there are men, and women for that matter, in the Church, who are still slapping labels on people whose lives don't fit some arbitrary timeline. The word "leftover" is a huge insult no matter how much you think you are being "realistic".
why is it that we so casually and universally describe a 21-year-old woman as "not married yet?"i find that so sad - as if we're expected to just wait for marriage. and THEN life begins. i don't think a mission should be a question of marriage at all. but unfortunately because we imagine women should go on a mission at 21 because they "aren't married yet," we perpetuate these unrealistic expectations which lead many to rash, wrong decisions either to serve a mission or marry the first person who likes them. i seriously feel like a massive shift in mindset is needed. marriage or missions out of pressured obligation can only lead to tragedy.
You Served A Mission?!!!!!
I served a mission in Honduras. It was VERY hard. But some of my favorite memories are from my mission, as well as some of the funniest stories. I would be ecstatic if my future daughter decided to go. As for the comments referring to sister missionaries as "leftovers" - who still thinks that? I loved the comments by K8 and Julianne Rose. The sisters I served with were wonderful, beautiful and intelligent. Moreover, isn't it getting to the point now that it is stranger to be married before the age of 21? Even in Utah?
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