(Bunny slippers are sooo in, says Miss Dub)You know what I’m not looking forward to? Menopause.
I don’t want to do that again.
Yes, you heard me right. I’ve been through menopause. And about two years later, I gave birth to Miss Dub.
For those of you scratching yer heads, I’d like to inform you that there is such a thing as a medically-induced menopause. (Basically, it’s a shot that blocks your body from making estrogen.)
And for those of you considering a dip into the world of hot flashes, dry skin and horrific moodiness, I would say, “DO NOT DO IT!”
The whole issue started on my mission to El Salvador, where some doctors at a lovely hospital mistook a case of endometriosis for appendicitis. A surgery and an earthquake later, I found out my appendix had been martyred and that I’d been given near lethal doses of anesthesia. But I digress.
Upon my return to the states I underwent a laparoscopy to rid myself of now-diagnosed endometriosis (otherwise known as “wicked cramps”), but the silly disease just kept at it. So in desperation I turned to a doctor who recommended I take shots to inhibit estrogen, in hopes that it would “reboot” my womanly system and make the bad, bad endometriosis go away.
This is what I heard: “You’ll feel better.”
This is what he probably said: “It will suck so, so bad and you’ll want to die so why in the world would you ever submit to this horrible treatment, other than the small chance it will make your stupid-head disease go away?”
This is what I said: “Sign me up. Now!”
And within a few minutes, my menopause began.
I won’t go into details, but the next few months involved serious depression, terrible heat and lots and lots of crying. (Mostly due to an accidental overdose of the shot administered to me by a well-meaning nurse.)
It’s really a blur, to be honest, which is good. I hear that most trauma victims have to block bad memories in order to move on.
I don’t want to do that again.
Yes, you heard me right. I’ve been through menopause. And about two years later, I gave birth to Miss Dub.
For those of you scratching yer heads, I’d like to inform you that there is such a thing as a medically-induced menopause. (Basically, it’s a shot that blocks your body from making estrogen.)
And for those of you considering a dip into the world of hot flashes, dry skin and horrific moodiness, I would say, “DO NOT DO IT!”
The whole issue started on my mission to El Salvador, where some doctors at a lovely hospital mistook a case of endometriosis for appendicitis. A surgery and an earthquake later, I found out my appendix had been martyred and that I’d been given near lethal doses of anesthesia. But I digress.
Upon my return to the states I underwent a laparoscopy to rid myself of now-diagnosed endometriosis (otherwise known as “wicked cramps”), but the silly disease just kept at it. So in desperation I turned to a doctor who recommended I take shots to inhibit estrogen, in hopes that it would “reboot” my womanly system and make the bad, bad endometriosis go away.
This is what I heard: “You’ll feel better.”
This is what he probably said: “It will suck so, so bad and you’ll want to die so why in the world would you ever submit to this horrible treatment, other than the small chance it will make your stupid-head disease go away?”
This is what I said: “Sign me up. Now!”
And within a few minutes, my menopause began.
I won’t go into details, but the next few months involved serious depression, terrible heat and lots and lots of crying. (Mostly due to an accidental overdose of the shot administered to me by a well-meaning nurse.)
It’s really a blur, to be honest, which is good. I hear that most trauma victims have to block bad memories in order to move on.
And I’ve moved on. And the pain is basically gone, though it’s hard to say if it was worth it, especially considering the side effects (like permanent menopause) some people experience.
But the only problem is I have to do it again some day. (Maybe sooner than later consider my wacky girl parts.)
One day menopause will sneak up behind me and slyly whisper, “I’m baaack!”
At least this time I can wear a patch.
9 comments:
None of you Ess girls have had it easy in that department have you! I'm so glad you have adorable Miss Dub and striking Lil' Gee to show for all the hassles :)
Soooo 'been there done that'! Unnecesarily sacrificed appendix? Check. 6 months of Lupron shots? Check. Fortunately, my experience with medically induced menopause was not as horrific as yours. It was a blessed relief from pain. I've since sacrificed all
'non-essential' organs to endometriosis (read: total hysterectomy)
Here's my view from the other side, it's great! Although every body responds differently...for me, the relief from pain and hormonal monthly cycles has been really liberating. It takes some effort to get the right estrogen dosages when you are as young as I am (and trying not to freak out over the synthetic hormone debate!) But, fear not ladies, there are definitely some pro's to the dreaded menopause! If I had known for sure we couldn't have biological children from the start I would have done a hysterectomy immediately, it has been a godsend!
steph used to tell me about all the torturous things you went through during that time. good thing you're so tough, mrs. dub. i don't think my weak little self would have survived the anesthesia in El Salvador.
what a lil miracle that miss dub is!
oh my goodness. this was really horrifying, but you are a lovely writer. i just love it when people are willing to share the less glamorous sides of themselves with the ether. thanks. and for now, I guess I'll just go on thinking menopause ignorance is bliss???
you have had the craziest health issues. i think you should write a book about it. or at least lots and lots of blog entries.
Good NIGHT, that's rotten! I had a similarly relatable bad, bad experience with Depo Provera. I'd like to say I can't believe that doctor (you'll feel better!) but I do. That's just the kind of BS that gets us into hotter, more miserable water.
Ain't nobody messing around down there again without some serious cause.
Since my mom nearly died from ovarian cancer I've considered a preventative hysterectomy at some point. However, that's not likely until I actually hit menopause--on my own thank you very much.
that menopause will get you every time. hopefully only one more time in your case. love you with or without hot flashes.
aah . . . we have so much in common, you and I.
Wow Dub. That needs to be developed into a story called "How Dub Got Her Fertility Back." Or something.
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