Bytheway ...

And, no, I'm not talking about John Bytheway or anyone else who makes their living by being Mormon. I don't think that's a valid occupation mostly because it's technically a religion and saying "awesome" a lot isn't really a sound business plan. (Trust me, John, one day you will need something more than clever anecdotes to pay the bills on your Living Scriptures. Though I'm sure you have a sweet spirit. And I mean "sweet" in the way only Mormons and Napoleon Dynamite, who I guess is Mormon though Kip wore awfully short shorts to be a former missionary, can say it.)

But I digress, as per usual.

Bytheway (reread first paragraph if you are still breaking into an EFY theme song here), I am in Arizona. Home of the brave and land of cacti. Some call it Mexico's outhouse. I call it home, although I haven't lived here in a while, but in our transient state I feel like I can claim any state I want to. And Maine just seemed so overdone.

Anyway, I'm here visiting fam and for the purpose of attending a baby shower in my? -- my baby's? -- my mother's? -- someone's honor. It was a fabulous fete where I dined on great food and received SOOO many presents. (FYI -- each O on "so" represents about 20 baby outfits.) Ms. Dub is going to be styling. So thanks to anyone in attendance who helped make that possible. It's one for the record books.

But my best present came after the shower, but I'll have to save that for another post because this one is getting too confusing. And I don't want to disgrace the goodness of this gift with references to motivational Mormon speakers. Not that I think they're bad people -- it's just that the whole Mormon market is a slippery slope, I think, where you start with an innocent fireside tape and before you know it you've just purchased a commemorative Nauvoo silverware set.

Bytheway, you really can buy that, which is totally not sweet.